Author Topic: Not again  (Read 2355 times)

captainkeefy

  • Karma Group
  • Full Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 270
  • What's that?
Not again
« on: February 12, 2013, 04:36:53 PM »
My Therapist has cancelled on me again. This drives me up the wall.  "£"
Affectus, qui passio est, desinit esse passio simulatque eius claram et distinctam formamus ideam.

Emotion, which is suffering, ceases to be suffering as soon as we form a clear and precise picture of it.

Catbrian

  • Guest
Re: Not again
« Reply #1 on: February 12, 2013, 05:25:30 PM »
This sounds very wrong.  Once is a nuisance but understandable; twice is a ruddy pest....  How often has he cancelled?

I once went through PTSD therapy at St George's in London.  At the time they were the only specialist therapy facility for PTSD in the country.  The Therapist I would see was a Forensic Psychologist.  He told me before we even made a start that some weeks he might turn up late and other weeks he might cancel, due to being called to court.  Anyway, every single session he was at least 35 mins late; twice he cancelled on the day and the last straw came one day, when I waited an hour for him, but he didn't show up.  I never went back

Basic counselling training stipulates how a counsellor should conduct themselves with clients; being late, cancelling or forgetting what you last spoke about, are all top priority no-no's.  IMO, the more qualified a therapist is, the less likely they are to follow the basic golden rules of relationship building with a client.

This is a real pity, considering how much you benefit from the sessions.  I hope you can put this aside.  You have enough to contend with without having this bug the brain!  Although, I would be livid and would ruminate all night about it, until my frazzled brain could take no more!
« Last Edit: February 12, 2013, 05:29:04 PM by Catb »

Sweetpea

  • Global Moderator
  • Super Hero
  • *****
  • Posts: 11660
Re: Not again
« Reply #2 on: February 12, 2013, 05:32:36 PM »
I agree this is very wrong! You need continuity with counseling.

S x x x x
No act of kindness, no matter how small, is ever wasted.

captainkeefy

  • Karma Group
  • Full Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 270
  • What's that?
Re: Not again
« Reply #3 on: February 12, 2013, 10:10:06 PM »
This is the second time. Out of the 7 appointments I've had, I've only been to 5 and one I took my Wife to so I let her talk to him.

I couldn't believe it before. It instantly sets my abandonment issue off and it makes me think what have I done? Why is he punishing me? Is he a bad person? Am I? Then I get severely frustrated and my mood drops. The thing that's really getting me is my family telling me it can't be depression because my moods change every few hours and my Therapist tells me I need to learn better coping methods, but for what? I feel like I'm just sitting counting the hours to get back to C.B.T. and then it get cancelled. I've dealt with these problems for years but I feel like I just can't deal with it anymore. I'm not feeling low now but I feel quite distressed. So now I can't go for another two weeks, once a month is nowhere near enough for me.
Affectus, qui passio est, desinit esse passio simulatque eius claram et distinctam formamus ideam.

Emotion, which is suffering, ceases to be suffering as soon as we form a clear and precise picture of it.

Catbrian

  • Guest
Re: Not again
« Reply #4 on: February 13, 2013, 10:14:16 PM »
Your therapy is your time and the fact you only meet him once per month, I think it's ridiculous he cancels.  He could at least fit you next week.  The lack of continuity will not do you any favours.  Is there any way you can push for weekly therapy?  CBT does sound like a good option.

captainkeefy

  • Karma Group
  • Full Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 270
  • What's that?
Re: Not again
« Reply #5 on: February 13, 2013, 10:35:34 PM »
Hi Catb,

I can't go next week because I'm minding the little ones because they are off school. I'm going to have to tell him next time I meet him that I can't stand the cancellations. I even mentioned last night to my Wife that I think he could be doing this to gauge my reactions. I know this probably sounds daft but I get the impression that he has been trying to get a reaction out of me. He started talking about his kids in the middle of a session and I found this frustrating but I got the impression he was making it up as he went along and I had a thought that he was talking because he wanted to talk, it hit me that he might be doing it to see how I responded. Then he got a couple of phone calls in the same session which I also found frustrating. I know this probably sounds paranoid but I just can't see a Therapist taking calls in the middle of a session like he was. He's not done it before or since.
Affectus, qui passio est, desinit esse passio simulatque eius claram et distinctam formamus ideam.

Emotion, which is suffering, ceases to be suffering as soon as we form a clear and precise picture of it.

stewart

  • Global Moderator
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 4252
    • Lady Lynne
Re: Not again
« Reply #6 on: February 13, 2013, 10:45:42 PM »
sounds very strange to me, when your with a therapist(or any other practicioner) you should be the one they focus on, sure if its a doc in a one man opperation an emergancy may crop up, but chatting about his kids and several phonecalls is not on at all.
its not suprising you are frustrated, angry and feeling as you do.
Without Love we are just a handfull of chemicals suspended in water

Catbrian

  • Guest
Re: Not again
« Reply #7 on: February 14, 2013, 08:12:28 AM »
If he was taking calls or talking about his kids for a reaction, that's wrong.  If he was doing this for his own means, then I believe that's wrong too.  If this happened to me, I wouldn't want to go back.  In many ways, I feel he is jeopardising the working relationship.  Is he a Doctor or just a therapist?  Sounds like a bit of a tosser!

captainkeefy

  • Karma Group
  • Full Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 270
  • What's that?
Re: Not again
« Reply #8 on: February 14, 2013, 09:26:37 AM »
He is a Cognitive Behavioral Therapist from what it says on his card. To be honest I don't know if it's him trying to illicit a reaction or what. The talk about his children did fit into the context of the conversation we where having about my childhood but I just found it really fired me up inside. The first phone call he ignored and excused himself to answer the second. To be honest, I think I should discuss how it makes me feel with him. I just find it really frustrating when I talk to someone and they turn their attention away from me. Especially in Therapy as I see that as my window to vent.
Affectus, qui passio est, desinit esse passio simulatque eius claram et distinctam formamus ideam.

Emotion, which is suffering, ceases to be suffering as soon as we form a clear and precise picture of it.

Catbrian

  • Guest
Re: Not again
« Reply #9 on: February 14, 2013, 05:56:36 PM »
I think it is important to talk about it.  Thing is, your irritation is justified, but it will probably be a trait of yours that is best addressed in Therapy.  My guess is he knows what he's doing and probably almost expects a reaction.  I doubt he does it on purpose, but probably goes with the flow when it does happen.  Your reaction to that and how you process it is very appropriate to be raised in your session.  Pluss, this cancelling lark is just not on, especially when you need to wait another month before seeing him again; most unprofessional.

If he's just a CBT therapist, I doubt he is qualified to take you to an official diagnosis.  By all the things you say about yourself, in my humble opinion, you will be best requesting a psychiatric assessment with a Psychiatrist with the view of reaching a diagnosis that you understand and can start to recover from.

captainkeefy

  • Karma Group
  • Full Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 270
  • What's that?
Re: Not again
« Reply #10 on: February 14, 2013, 06:56:15 PM »
Your right Catb. I have been thinking that I wanted a diagnosis as I'm so confused, I know I get severe depression when my abandonment issue is triggered or severely distressed. The thing is I've bottled lots of stress up over the years. I find it really hard to stay in a job, I've struggled with my marriage and I hardly have a social life. I like to think of myself as a hard worker but find 2 years is the longest I hack a job before I throw in the towel. All this tends to point to a big problem. Self harm, discharge from military service through mental health.

I get the impression my Therapist is really experienced and I did as for a diagnosis but he said he'd like to get to know me better first.
Affectus, qui passio est, desinit esse passio simulatque eius claram et distinctam formamus ideam.

Emotion, which is suffering, ceases to be suffering as soon as we form a clear and precise picture of it.

Sweetpea

  • Global Moderator
  • Super Hero
  • *****
  • Posts: 11660
Re: Not again
« Reply #11 on: February 14, 2013, 07:23:37 PM »
This is so unprofessional. My counselling sessions were never interrupted by phone calls. No one ever came into the room and she never talked about her life. I had a real rapport with her and I personally think this is very important.  My sessions were weekly and having a longer gap is not on. This should be sorted otherwise you will not benefit from it.

S x x x x 

Sent from my BlackBerry 9300 using Tapatalk
No act of kindness, no matter how small, is ever wasted.

captainkeefy

  • Karma Group
  • Full Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 270
  • What's that?
Re: Not again
« Reply #12 on: February 14, 2013, 08:16:13 PM »
Hi shaz,

I'm going to discuss this with him next time I see him. I feel like I've hardly made any progress in over 3 months and I was told people usually take 3 months in total.
Affectus, qui passio est, desinit esse passio simulatque eius claram et distinctam formamus ideam.

Emotion, which is suffering, ceases to be suffering as soon as we form a clear and precise picture of it.

Sweetpea

  • Global Moderator
  • Super Hero
  • *****
  • Posts: 11660
Re: Not again
« Reply #13 on: February 14, 2013, 08:22:08 PM »
I do hope you can get this sorted out.

S x x x x
No act of kindness, no matter how small, is ever wasted.