Hello, new to this.

[athens1982]

Hi , I have recently found out my husband of 28 years has been living with another woman whilst soposedly working off shore. He has been spending all our reserves, not earning and tricked me into taking out loans . The shock of all the lies and deceit have taken me to breaking point, am taking antidepressants and also pills to help me sleep at night. The financial worries are bad but its the hurt from someone I had trusted for so long thats killing me. My oldest son will have nothing to do with him. My younger son at 16 is confused, says he can never trust him again. Do people think that antidepressants can help in a situation like this? Or is it just time that will help. Constantly feel it would be easier just not to wake up in the morning but know I have to for the sake of my kids .

[Michael Frankum]

Hello and welcome. I have found that this is a good place to explore things that are causing problems, because the people on the site offer great comfort, support and advice, without ever being judgemental. Anti-depressants can certainly help, but so can letting out some of feelings of hurt in a safe environment. I hope that you find the forums and members as helpful and supportive as I have. Best wishes.  +-_

[Ezel]

Hi and welcome, you will find members helpful and supportive

[Sweetpea]

Hello and welcome to the forum, hopefully you will find good support here, they are a great bunch here.  Have you thought of maybe getting some counselling to help you deal with whatt has happened.  I found that medication and counselling helped me the best.

S x x x x

[athens1982]

Thanks for all that. Yes think I just need to talk out all my feelings. Have an appointment with a counceller in about three weeks. Even good friends dont want to listen to same old, same old and cant offload to my boys or close familly who all live far away anyway. Dont know if the medication is doing any good, am scared not to take cos I feel so low anyway. Some days I just sit and doze, cant concentrate on anything, some days if I can make myself be busy I feel better but then as soon as I stop all the feelings of dread and just not being able to cope with life comes back.
I have looked around the boards and found some really helpful information and lots of friendly posts. Thats what i need at the moment, support from people who maybe have an idear how I am feeling and dont just tell me to get on with it and time will heal. I just feel so let down and all my confidence has gone.

[Sweetpea]

Please feel free to unload as much as you are comfortable with here.  Its good to hear you have a counselling appointment, its sometimes easier to talk to someone who is not involved or close to us.   %^% for you.

S x x x x

[KateG]

Hi and welcome, sorry to hear what you're going through. I think time and counselling will be more helpful to you long term than medication

Glad you found us

Kate x

[Zaf]

Hi and welcome  *()

I agree about the counselling xxx

[athens1982]

Thankyou for all the feedback. Went back to work today, felt so scared but everyone was lovely.Gave me easy background jobs to do and feel better for it. When i got back had pathetic e-Mail from husband saying how sorry he is, how much missing kids but not me etc and have to admit made me feel good. How dare he treat us like this and then accept sympathy. I know I have to look to a future and am finding it so hard. all that deceit, all those lies have knocked my confidence down to zero and I find it so hard. I do have councelling booked for a few weeks, just need to sound off on someone. Do apprecaiate the people on here. Have always thought if you were depressed would be whatever, if on idylic island with someone who loves you etc but beginning to understand it can be  a position of circumstance, not just the way you are.I really feel for all the people out there if they feel anything like I do at the moment. Have often thought it would be so good just not to have to wake up in the morning and carry on.But will for my famillies sake.

[Sweetpea]

Good to hear you coped at work today, it must of been hard for you. You have had so much to deal with and I do so feel for you. ((((( big hugs ))))). S x x x x

[KateG]

Glad your colleagues are being supportive x

[athens1982]

I have now done a second week at work. Had some news on Tuesday that made me feel a little smug although dosn't really make things any better. My husband is back living with his mother, even further away from us now, the new woman has had enough of his lack of cash and baggage I think.Must admit that I am feeling more positive, actually slept last night without taking any help for the first time in a long time. Also have had a lot of support from friends and coming on sites like this make it all seem easier to cope with. I never want to feel as i did a couple of weeks ago again, really could not see the point in getting up in the morning. I am now beginning to realise that although I have lost my soulmate of 28 years and am struggling financially I do have my son's, a job and some good friends. My husband has lost all this through his own stupidity and I think he is now at rock bottom. I do feel for him, of course I still have feelings but know he could never come back, would never believe a word he said anymore. Thankyou everyone for your kind words. Things must get better for all of us.

[Michael Frankum]

I'm glad that things seem a little brighter for you now. I hope that this improvement continues. Best wishes.  +-_

[Sweetpea]

Good to hear you are feeling brighter. Take care. S x x x x