I'm pleased you finally found the courage to post on the Forum. Believe me, I'm a relative newbie, but already know most who visit the site regularly. I hope you find it as much a support as I have.
There will be many on here who relate to you facing some kind of career change. It's never easy and can feel daunting, but we're never too old.
Try concentrate on your recovery in the present. We all stress about the future, but I've found it takes care of itself. That’s difficult to put into practice, but worth trying to keep in mind.
The medical at ATOS is the most stressful and frustrating thing’s I’ve encountered. The DWP will suspend your benefit if you don’t attend. In my experience, no matter how sick or disabled you are, there’s no getting out it, unless the GP can persuade them to delay for a bit. Maybe it might help to request/change to the first 9am appointment. They’ll process you immediately without sitting around in a waiting room. I have a copy of the assessment they adher to during the medical. If you mention it nearer the time, I’ll give you a few pointers on what to say and what definitely not to do. Have you actually told them you wont attend?
It’s good you’ve found Mirtazapine helpful. There are so many anti-depressants and we all react differently, so it’s usually always time consuming to find one that’s suitable. I hope you don’t have to wait too long for Psychotherapy.
This point in your depression, I think, is one of the most difficult stages to get through. We are not quite feeling the full benefits of medication and at times feel left in limbo, as we await referrals for regular support and psychotherapy.
It may be that you need more support as you await therapy and probably while you go through it. Are you seeing the hospital Doctor again anytime soon? Depending where you live, the Psychiatrist is probably part of a Mental Health Team. It might be worth asking if there are Support Workers or C.P.N’s (Community Psychiatric Nurse) who will meet with you weekly.
Keep posting… in my experience it can be invaluable
