Hell at work

[pinkcasi]

I sent an email to my manager and told her i had spoken to a union rep about my current situation, (that was super hard for me to do) he said that depression counts as a disability he suggested that i could be liable for disability adjustment leave i sent her the link and asked if we could discuss it,(bearing in mind i dont know how i feel about this, declaring myself disabled is that what i want?!) she then replied in a tone that i found very harsh (though i dont know if it was or if it's me being overly sensitive) but she said that i have to contact our counselling service then get a referal to our occupational health people, she then sent me a consent form for this referl and on it it says you must have discussed this referal with your manager which we have not whatso ever, then she says she's already done a referal and they'll contact me.

So now im like WTF! i only told you about this this morning but yet youve already refered me without my consent? without discussing it with me? I know it's best for me but i would like to actually talk to my manager who sits a few feet away from me and is an Ex nurse would you believe, i dont think much of her bedside manner.

Last time i had a breakdown i was under a different manager and i didn't take any time off and it was much better, you know why....? cos that manager used to come to me everyday and ask how i was, she would constantly say if you need to talk about anything work or otherwise im here, we would have weekly meetings where i could rant and cry and just generally let go, and i felt supported and cared for, now this manager wont even speak to me!

And now i have to call a stupid counselling serivce tonight and go through the whole story with them and i have to go see another dr tomorrow and go through it all then then i have to go to occupational health and go through it all with them, is there anyone that doesn't want to know my pathetic life story!!!

I feel really angry now i thought my manager was going to be helpful (bearing in mind that sh'es an ex nurse, i dont think much of her bedside manner) i just wanted to discuss it to try and get the best outcome for me and the business but it feels like she's just gotten defensive because i went to a union rep.

This is horrible  

[Zaf]

It might be worth going back to your union rep about it

Z x

[mrmoody]

sounds like a crap boss and a crap nurse, there must be the reason she is an ex nurse, no empathy!

[Sweetpea]

I agree with Zaf may be a good idea to chat with your union rep about what has happened.

S x x x x

[Buttercup]

I really think that people who don't suffer just don't get it sometimes.

 I know that my friend had to go through well being and occupational health. I think it's just to show they've done everything they can to support you. The problem is that a lot of places seem to treat it as something they have to do rather than using it as part of a supportive approach.

[Beetzart]

Some of these firms are a disgrace. I put in a grievance over bullying nearly six weeks ago and have yet to get an interview. They first said too many people were on leave, then one of the blokes I mentioned was off sick!  They think because it is mental health related that we are just making it up.  Please I hope no one takes this the wrong away, it is just another way of looking at it, but if you were diagnosed with cancer instead of depression they would have had a whip round and fundraising events. Depression is a serious illness and more firms need to realise this.

[pinkcasi]

I agree completely Beetzart i really do and sometimes i wish i had a 'proper' illness that that i wish i had cancer or anything but even in this day and age Depression has so much stigma attached. 

I think that she just thinks she has to do everything by the book, and i guess i have to go along with it and hope for the best on a better note I've been to the drs this morning I came out and burst into tears, not because he was unhelpful but because he was nice I actually feel listened for the first time in years. He asked me all the normal questions 'do you feel you're able to keep yourself safe' to which I replied 'please don't have me committed' I said that I've been dealing with my depression on my own for years, you can't get an appt and when you do it's a different dr and you have to go through it all over again, he said he would get reception to call me to make an appt to ensure I get one and that it's with him, he's going to refer me for cbt, though we all know how long that can take, he's given me another month for 20mg cit with a view to upping that to 40 after a month and propranolol for the anxiety.
I feel relieved this time, I don't know if he means any of it I've had nice drs before but they soon forget about you, I just hope.... That's it I just hope.

[Buttercup]

I'm really pleased that you have the support of your doctor. 

I really hope that things sort themselves out at work.xxx

[Sweetpea]

So glad that your dr is being supportive to you.  Just hope your work gets sorted for you but you have your dr for back up if needed.

S x x x x

[pinkcasi]

Thanks guys And i got a phone call from reception this afternoon to makethat appointment for the beginning of june so the Dr meant it, i've had such a good day today, I made cakes for my Nieces birthday and everything, shame i feel anxious about the party, my sister and I aren't on good terms just now and it's at her house, plus my family dont know im having a 'blip' just now so i have to keep up appearences, and the arms hidden, but other than that good day :)

[Sweetpea]

Feel for you, its hard work putting on the 'i'm ok face' for friends and family.

S x x x x