Coming up to 2 years of despair....

[mamalou]

Just noticed as I looked at the calendar, that it is May next week.
This severe episode of depression began in May 2010 and since then I have been suicidal, isolated, alone and detatched.

I cannot believe it - I have tried hundreds of combinations of medication, been under crisis management ( hospital at home) on 3 occasions and seen a multitude of mental health professionals.  I continue to be under their care and considered to be at risk.

I am exhausted. I have missed alot of my children growing up, become reclusive and barely manage to cope with small day to day tasks.


I don't think I can continue. I am so tired. I am putting my husband through hell. I just want to be dead.

I always had a great relationship with my GP but the other day I felt upset by him and now I don't know what to do. Suddenly, I feel afraid.

Just needed to talk to someone who understands. If you're reading this, thanks x x

[Sweetpea]

 &*( for you.  Depression is a cruel illness and takes so much of our lives from us.

Feeling guilty is a big thing in our lives too, I know I feel this, I have hated worrying my family and friends.

we are here for you.

S x x

ps.  I love your avatar  :).

[KateG]

It's like the world keeps on turning but somehow we got off because of depression and it's moving without us. I sometimes feel like I've lost my place in the world and the gap I left has now closed up and I can't make it mine again

Don't give up, even if you are putting your husband through hell, I'm sure he wants you with him rather than you not being here at all

&*(

[Zaf]

It truly is a horrible illness, its taken a lot of my life away

Z xx

[mamalou]

Thank you so much for your replies. It's so great to have this forum to write and share. It's a real life saver. 

p.s. Shaz - My avatar is a picture of a doggy just like mine !!