under eating

[loopylou]

i no alot of people comfort eat but im the opposite i find when im going through my lows (like at the moment) im lucky if im having 1 meal a day, i just feel like if im feeling nothing inside then if im feeling hunger then at least im feeling  something anything and id prefer 2 feel hunger than fat n disgusting which i think i am (im size 10) iv done this for years but the past few months its starting to become really bad 2 the point where iv went down a clothes size. iv got 3 gorgeous children and i dont want them growing up with their mam like this, because even though its behaviour im having trouble stopping i no that using food in this  way isnt normal. its becoming to the point where im quite proud if iv barely eaten and that so isnt right.

[Zaf]

Is it possible to find a help group as you are aware of what you're doing?

Z xx

[loopylou]

im seeing a counsellor on friday and im going to talk 2 her about it and see wot help there is for it but im just worried that its gona take hold before i get the help :-(

[Munchroom]

I can relate to so much of that loopylou. I am also a size 10 - and I constantly see a fat woman staring back at me in the mirror.

When I was first struggiling with depression I couldnt eat very much because of my anxiety and I lost some weight... then I started eating again and I put that small amount of weight back on. Then I got paranoid about food and weight gain and stopped eating, now I'm excersising 5 times a week and eating a very controlled diet. I just want to be smaller, but I know when I do lose weight then I'll just want to lose more, then more and I wish I could just get back to enjoying food again.

Be compleltey honest on Friday about how you feel, I hope it goes well for you xx

[loopylou]

thank u im so nervous about it but i wana get better so much
 im like u al i can think about wen iv eaten is i need 2 get it off me even if its just something simple like doin some housework at least its exercise on saturday i went for a 3 hour walk and i felt so happy bout it.

[misunderstood-x]

one thing that might be worth trying is for you all to sit down and eat together, that way you can be having a convosation with the kids and not focusing so much on the eating part of it.
also depending on how old your kids are.. if you sit down with them you can say to yourself your eating for them, imagine if your kids had the same problem from watching you, it might be the push you need to eat more, its not for you then its for your kids :)
you said your going to see a counsellor, have you been to see a dietician? (i havent been able to read everyones posts so someone might of already suggested that if so, sorry!)
thinking of you at this hard time.

[Munchroom]

Hope you get on well today loopylou x

[Dookie]

Hope you are ok.

I don't feel fat, even though I am a lot bigger than you (size 14). But when I am down I don't eat. I don't feel hungry, I just don't feel anything, which is why I don't eat.

Hope you feel better soon, I do understand your pain.

Dookie xxx