Hello!

[woozywoo]

Hello...

I am sure i have been registered on this website a few years back, but have just found it again!

Basically my depression has been reoccuring for many years and unlike some people, i have no trigger for it, if you like i could say it is a chemical imbalance and i have accepted it is something i will suffer with for the rest of my life.

Dont want to bore everybody with the whole story at the moment, but wanted to say hi. The thing i am struggling with most at the moment, is the intense lonliness despite having people around me!!

xx

[Zaf]

Hi and welcome :)   

I too have suffered from depression on and off for many years, ypu'll find everyone here very helpful and supportive xx

[Glen53]

Welcome. Hopefully talking to us on the forum will ease your feelings of loneliness.

[woozywoo]

Thanx Guys!

I just feel tired of fighting. I guess i am coping because i am managing to hold down a full time job.

I want to feel determined and as if i have the strength inside me to beat this, BUT i am tired of it. Felt at the beginning as if i could fight this, but it just keeps coming back again and again and again, and it takes effort to fight and i havent got it in me anymore!

[Zaf]

you're doing incredibly well holding down a full time job, something you should be proud of :)

[lbruk]

welcome :)

[HSS1982]

Hi woozywoo i'm Harry, we won't be bored with your story, tell us, you may feel better. You're not alone

[lou]

feeling isolated is horrible i know how you feel, sometimes although i want/need not to feel this way i'm frightened of letting anyone in. you'll find lots of helpful advice and support here  :)

[woozywoo]

Thanx guys for your welcome!

Harry, my story bores me now, as there isnt really one i guess.

I sometimes feel as though my story isnt really a story. There isnt a reason i have depression, it isnt from a traumatic life event. It has just happened to me and will continue to happen to me. I have suffered from depression on and off for about 16years now. I have come to terms with the fact i will never be free of it, but i am able to cope with it. It has times when it over whelms me and gets the better of me. But at the moment, i come back fighting after each time. Dont knoiw how long that will continue though.

At the moment, it is beginning to sneak back in. I am finding work difficult, tiring and getting behind with things, home life isnt great, money situation bad and just things keep coming up to get at me. Hate this time of year, i see very little daylight and struggle to function.

Wish i was a hedgehog...

[Zaf]

I know the feeling

Have you thought of trying a light box or daylight clock for this time of year?

[Glen53]

I hear what you are saying, but it doesnt take a war / death or major traumatic event to cause depression. There are no such things as 'little things'. You feel the way you do because you do. Dont try to find reasons for the way you feel, trust me i have done this and ended up driving myself nearly insane. I have always been a logical person - if you feel ill, there is a reason, if you are sick it must be something you ate etc. Depression doesnt have reasons, it just is.

The best thing you can do is talk to people when things get a little tough and hopefully, thats where we can help.

[Zaf]

While depression can be caused by stress or something traumatic as Glen says sometimes it just happens, we wouldnt look for a reason if we had a thyroid deficiency or diabetes, clinical depression can be likened to either of those as all of them are due to imbalances in our body chemistry

[HSS1982]

I didn't find your story boring at all. If anything i'm in the same situation. I've struggled by for 10 years and wonder how much longer I could go on. I don't wish to jump in front of a train or take an overdose, just had enough of being miserable all the time.