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31
Fun Stuff / BEST OUT OF OFFICE AUTOMATIC E-MAIL REPLIES
« Last post by Pip on April 03, 2024, 10:11:37 AM »
BEST OUT OF OFFICE AUTOMATIC E-MAIL REPLIES

1. I am currently out of the office at a job interview and will reply to you if I fail to get the position. Please be prepared for my mood.

2. You are receiving this automatic notification because I am out of the office. If I was in, chances are you wouldn't have received anything at all.

3. Sorry to have missed you, but I'm at the doctor's having my brain and heart removed so I can be promoted to our management team.

4. I will be unable to delete all the emails you send me until I return from vacation. Please be patient, and your mail will be deleted in the order it was received.

5. Thank you for your email. Your credit card has been charged $5.99 for the first 10 words and $1.99 for each additional word in your message.

6. The email server is unable to verify your server connection. Your message has not been delivered. Please restart your computer and try sending again. (The beauty of this is that when you return, you can see who did this over and over and over....)

7. Thank you for your message, which has been added to a queuing system. You are currently in 352nd place, and can expect to receive a reply in approximately 19 weeks.

8. Hi, I'm thinking about what you've just sent me. Please wait by your PC for my response.

9. I've run away to join a different circus.

10. I will be out of the office for the next two weeks for medical reasons. When I return, please refer to me as Lucille instead of Steve.
32
The Lounge / Re: Members birthdays
« Last post by Amanda_George on April 03, 2024, 06:33:04 AM »
There are another two birthday bunnies on the forum today!  Please help me to wish both splimwad and also EmmaLouise210 the best day possible today!

:excited:
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Christian / Re: Devotions
« Last post by Pip on April 01, 2024, 12:47:08 PM »
https://proverbs31.org/read/devotions/full-post/2023/05/25/what-if-the-next-big-step-god-wants-you-to-take-is-small?utm_campaign=Daily%20Devotions&utm_medium=email&_hsmi=257495081&_hsenc=p2ANqtz-_O1CQj2ypOZ2kDS1U5m0RHijlYIOOMG9BjCRugU8xJ_n_SLHkenoguB-upgphIUG0iXqse2E2mfvdAuNbDjFFLxJCDVQ&utm_content=257495081&utm_source=hs_email#disqus_thread

What if the Next Big Step God Wants You To Take Is Small?
May 25, 2023
by Lysa TerKeurst

“in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.” Proverbs 3:6 (NIV)

It was a hot day inside and outside at the orphan village in Liberia. Twelve boys inside, practicing choir music, found their eyes wandering over to the soccer field, where the promise of fun and the cheers of their friends tugged at them.  They were feeling the pull of wanting to go outside and play soccer. But these boys determined the choir was worth the sacrifice.  Years earlier, Liberia had been ravaged by a civil war that left more than 25,000 orphans to be cared for. So to raise money and support, an a cappella boys’ choir was formed to travel throughout the country of Liberia and perform in churches.  Two of the teenage boys in that choir, Jackson and Mark, had been orphaned as babies when their parents and most of their siblings were killed by rebel forces.  Night after night, these boys knelt beside their makeshift beds and poured out prayers of thanksgiving and hope that one day they’d hear six simple yet life-changing words: “You are my child welcome home.”

God had a perfect design for their prayers to be answered and worked miracle after miracle to bring the boys’ choir to America. But little did I know my family would be part of the answer to Mark and Jackson’s prayers.  Life was already busy and full, as I was a mom to three little girls. So you can imagine my surprise that the night I went to see The Liberian Boys’ Choir concert at our church, I was stirred to consider adoption.  As I sat in the concert, God whispered to my heart that two of those boys singing were mine. No, I thought. Not me. I felt like sticking my fingers in my ears and singing, La, la, la, la, la I’m not listening to You, God! But the stirring in my heart wouldn’t stop.  I decided to try a new tactic with Him: Lord, I just came here tonight to bring my girls. I’m not looking for a major life change. Life is already very full with work, speaking, writing and home-schooling. Besides, all my friends would think I was crazy.  But God wasn’t discouraged by my response. His directive in my heart became more intense as the evening went on. After the concert, I asked the coordinator of the event which of the boys still needed homes. He told me eight of the boys still needed to find families and encouraged me to walk into the reception area where they were. If God intended for some of these boys to be part of my family, he was sure I’d know it.  Reluctantly, I walked into the reception area. In a matter of seconds, Jackson and Mark walked up to me, wrapped their arms around me, and called me Mom.  I was moved and terrified at the same time.  What began as a small heart prompting had turned into a very big decision.  I cried out to God, desperate for His guidance and wisdom as I pondered every aspect and wrestled with this decision deep in my spirit.  Still, doubts and questions flooded my mind.  One day, I called a friend and poured out my heart. She patiently listened without much response as I asked, “Why me?”

Then, quietly and prayerfully, she answered: “Because God knew you’d say ‘yes,’ Lysa.”

I was stunned. I think that was the highest compliment I could have ever received. My heart was filled with joy as my mind was filled with memories of the years of small steps God had me take to reach the place where I could be prepared to take this much bigger step.  Now, many, many years later, I think back to sitting in that church pew, just going about my ordinary life when God’s extraordinary invitation burst forth. I could have so easily walked out of that church and ignored God’s stirring. I’ve done that more times than I’d like to admit. But look at everything I would have missed out on had I done that.  Hear my heart: I’m not saying everyone is called to adopt. Honestly, the next big step God wants you to take might actually be small. But we’ll never know what that next step is if we don’t “submit to him” everything we do, as Proverbs 3:6 instructs us.  Each day, we can look for His invitation to leave our plans behind to join Him in His wondrous work through small steps of obedience.
34
The Lounge / Re: Members birthdays
« Last post by Pip on April 01, 2024, 12:35:31 PM »
:happybday:  mathis and LemonPuff
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Fun Stuff / NEW AIRLINE RULES
« Last post by Pip on April 01, 2024, 12:33:45 PM »
NEW AIRLINE RULES

Attendant: Welcome aboard Ala Carte Air, sir. May I see your ticket?

Passenger: Sure.

Attendant: You're in seat 12B. That will be $5, please!

Passenger: What for?

Attendant: For telling you where to sit.

Passenger: But I already knew where to sit.

Attendant: Nevertheless, we are now charging a seat locator fee of $5. It's the airline's new policy.

Passenger: That's the craziest thing I ever heard. I won't pay it.

Attendant: Sir, do you want a seat on this flight, or not?

Passenger: Yes, yes. All right, I'll pay. But the airline is going to hear about this.

Attendant: Thank you. My goodness, your carry-on bag looks heavy. Would you like me to stow it in the overhead compartment for you?

Passenger: That would be swell, thanks.

Attendant: No problem. Up we go, and done! That will be $10, please.

Passenger:  What?

Attendant: The airline now charges a $10 carry-on assistance fee.

Passenger: This is extortion. I won't stand for it.

Attendant: Actually, you're right, you can't stand. You need to sit, and fasten your seat belt. We're about to push back from the gate. But, first I need that $10.

Passenger:  No way!

Attendant:  Sir, if you don't comply, I will be forced to call the air marshal. And you really don't want me to do that.

Passenger:  Why not? Is he going to shoot me?

Attendant:  No, but there's a $50 air-marshal hailing fee.

Passenger:  Oh, all right, here, take the $10. I can't believe this.

Attendant:  Thank you for your cooperation, sir. Is there anything else I can do for you?

Passenger:  Yes. It's stuffy in here, and my overhead fan doesn't seem to work. Can you fix it?

Attendant: Your overhead fan is not broken, sir. Just insert two quarters into the overhead coin slot for the first five minutes.

Passenger:  The airline is charging me for cabin air?

Attendant:  Of course not, sir. Stagnant cabin air is provided free of charge. It's the circulating air that costs 50 cents.

Passenger:  I don't have any quarters. Can you make change for a dollar?

Attendant:  Certainly, sir! Here you go!

Passenger:  But you've given me only three quarters for my dollar.

Attendant: Yes, there's a change making fee of 25 cents.

Passenger:  For cryin' out loud. All I have left is a lousy quarter? What the heck can I do with this?

Attendant:  Hang onto it. You'll need it later for the lavatory
36
Fun Stuff / HONK IF YOU LOVE JESUS
« Last post by Pip on April 01, 2024, 12:31:04 PM »
HONK IF YOU LOVE JESUS

Got a letter from Grandma the other day. She writes...

The other day I went up to a local Christian bookstore and saw a "Honk if you love Jesus" bumper sticker.

I was feeling particularly sassy that day because I had just come from a thrilling choir performance, followed by a thunderous prayer meeting, so I bought the sticker and put it on my bumper.

Boy, I'm glad I did! What an uplifting experience that followed!

I was stopped at a red light at a busy intersection, just lost in thought about the Lord and how good He is... and I didn't notice that the light had changed.

It is a good thing someone else loves Jesus because if he hadn't honked, I'd never have noticed!

I found that LOTS of people love Jesus! Why, while I was sitting there, the guy behind started honking like crazy, and then he leaned out of his window and screamed, "For the love of GOD! GO! GO! Jesus Christ, GO!"

What an exuberant cheerleader he was for Jesus! Everyone started honking!

I just leaned out of my window and started waving and smiling at all these loving people. I even honked my horn a few times to share in the love!

There must have been a man from Florida back there because I heard him yelling something about a "sunny beach"...

I saw another guy waving in a funny way with only his middle finger stuck up in the air.

Then I asked my teenage grandson in the back seat what that meant, he said that it was probably a Hawaiian good luck sign or something. Well, I've never met anyone from Hawaii, so I leaned out the window and gave him the good luck sign back.

My grandson burst out laughing why, even he was enjoying this religious experience!

A couple of the people were so caught up in the joy of the moment that they got out of their cars and started walking towards me. I bet they wanted to pray or ask what church I attended, but this is when I noticed the light had changed.

So, I waved to all my sisters and brothers grinning, and drove on through the intersection. I noticed I was the only car that got through the intersection before the light changed again and I felt kind of sad that I had to leave them after all the love we had shared, so I slowed the car down, leaned out of the window and gave them all the Hawaiian good luck sign one last time as I drove away.

Praise the Lord for such wonderful folk

Grandma
37
The Lounge / Re: Members birthdays
« Last post by Amanda_George on April 01, 2024, 07:25:25 AM »
We've got a couple of members celebrating their birthday and I'm not gonna joke about the date 'cos I'm sure they're both sick and tired of it by now!

Happy birthday, mathis and also LemonPuff!   :excited:
38
Christian / Re: Devotions
« Last post by Pip on March 30, 2024, 01:39:17 PM »
https://proverbs31.org/read/devotions/full-post/2023/05/24/raising-kids-with-steadfast-faith-in-a-culture-of-darkness?utm_campaign=Daily%20Devotions&utm_medium=email&_hsmi=257496871&_hsenc=p2ANqtz-8y4zPGxM05HrGc2v5AZVBxtbMpjV4JEIn7bkg8Gvoqf7JwUoex6V7VTPphJK7z1VDFTMFtWP3aOnXdA9AY0Ragc3wYcg&utm_content=257496871&utm_source=hs_email#disqus_thread

Raising Kids With Steadfast Faith in a Culture of Darkness
May 24, 2023
by Nicole Hunt

“Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.” Philippians 4:8 (ESV)

As a millennial mom to four kids in the middle school and young teen years, I feel like the world has been turned upside down.  All around us, evil is called good, and good is called evil. Our culture tells us right and wrong are relative. It rejects the objective standard of Truth for a much more convenient and subjective standard of “your truth.” And while it preaches tolerance, this worldview insists that everyone conform to its secular ideology.  So as parents, how do we raise children who are steadfast in their faith when culture relentlessly seeks to deceive and confuse them?

In the times of the early Church, the Apostle Paul was in a similar situation with the church in Philippi. In Philippians 4:1, Paul lovingly encouraged the church to be steadfast in the Lord.  In the verses that follow, Paul directed them to think about “whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise” (Philippians 4:8).

Essentially, Paul called these believers to be steadfast in their faith by developing godly character and conduct the results of pursuing biblical wisdom.  Parents can adopt this same plan when it comes to raising kids in today’s culture. We must lead our children to intentionally develop biblical wisdom and discernment so they may live with steadfast faith in this broken world.  Easier said than done, right? What practical steps can we take to raise children who are steadfast in their faith?

1.  Guide your children in the pursuit of biblical wisdom and discernment.

God’s Word is the very best source of wisdom and wisdom leads to godly actions and right living.  Intentionally set aside time to read the Bible with your children. As they get older and are able, encourage them to read it on their own too. Then offer to discuss what they’re reading and learning.  Romans 12:2 instructs us to live with renewed minds, and the path to a renewed mind is through the intentional pursuit of godly wisdom.  Knowing about the fruit of the Holy Spirit is one thing; choosing to live it out is another (Galatians 5:22-25). And yet another layer of the conversation is discerning whether or not our actions are consistent with God’s call on our lives to exhibit the fruit of the Spirit. Getting to that last layer helps us grow in wisdom and discernment.

2.  Be gentle with your children, always leading with love.

The pursuit of wisdom and steadfast faith will inevitably include failure. It’s not about perfection but the pursuit of excellence.  We want to inspire our kids with God’s Truth not break their spirits or push them away from God. This requires gentleness and love in both our words and actions.

3.  Live it out in your own life.

If we hope to teach our kids to pursue godly wisdom, we must first pursue godly wisdom ourselves. If we hope to inspire steadfast faith in our children, we must aspire to it in our lives. Let your life successes and failures be an example to your child.  As parents, the very best thing we can ever do for our kids is model an authentic and growing relationship with Jesus Christ as the Lord and Savior of our lives.  And we can be encouraged that God is with us every step of the way as we guide our children in the pursuit of wisdom and godly character. The journey may seem daunting, but we are never alone or without His faithful guidance.
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The Lounge / Re: Members birthdays
« Last post by Pip on March 30, 2024, 01:30:36 PM »
 :bday1:  tarle1976
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The Lounge / Re: Members birthdays
« Last post by Amanda_George on March 30, 2024, 07:29:25 AM »
Our last birthday of March is tarle1976!

anim_65
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