Depression Forums

General => I need to vent! => Topic started by: lostmyway on August 27, 2019, 04:49:36 PM

Title: Latest
Post by: lostmyway on August 27, 2019, 04:49:36 PM
Hi

Just letting everybody know how things are. Sadly, they are no better; my 80 something mother drives me nuts, I have no real friends or job (still) and feel I have reached the end of my tether; it feels real this time, not just metaphorically.  I am tired of trying and nothing leads to anything, over and over again, who in their right mind could tolerate such a situation?   I am not a young guy either, so it actually feels worse.  I can feel the symptoms getting worse: the stress levels, the anxiety, the depression...  It's because the triggers are still there that set it off.  I realise that none of this is new, so I have to deal with it, one way or the other... the problem is, I don't know how to.
Title: Re: Latest
Post by: Amanda_George on August 27, 2019, 05:24:52 PM
You did the right thing by reaching out, Lost.  I'm so sorry you're going through a rough time right now.  Do you trust your GP?  Do you have a CPN or psychologist you can make an appointment to go and see?  They really can help if you let them know you need their support and your GP might have ideas for ways to support you and your mum... could you ask about getting a carer in for her or anything like that maybe?  You need support and it sounds like you've been left in the lurch unfortunately.
Title: Re: Latest
Post by: Pip on August 28, 2019, 10:00:01 PM
lostmyway, it is no surprise that you are at the end of your tether and just becasue it's still the same things that are dragging you down doesn't mean you don't deserve the same support as other people.  I went 23 years of silence as I didn't understand I was suffering with severe depression - I suffered with depression from about 12 - 13 years old but didn't realize I did.  Fifteen years ago I completely broke down but did the right thing of going to my GP after a friend urged me to go.  Although I have learned coping mechanisms I still have my bad periods but fortunately I have friends I can reach out to that have had similar life experiences to me.  It's okay to reach out at times although it may help to post more often, we are here to be supportive.
Title: Re: Latest
Post by: lostmyway on September 01, 2019, 08:37:45 PM
@Amanda_George

Firstly, it's not really talk therapy, CBT and so on that I truly need, it is a job and independence and a need for personal space and privacy which all of that can bring, and obviously some kinda place of my own.  Since my 20s I feel that I have just meandered throughout life, which sounds vague and just a generalised statement; now it is feeling that is all too late to do anything about it, I have missed the boat.  I refuse to believe however, that it's all my fault, as that logical statement doesn't make any sense.

@Pip

Sorry that you have been through all of that in your life.  I don't have all that many people in my life that I can relate to, is just a fact of life.  I could try my mother, but she doesn't really understand depression and things of that nature, even though she does try to , I will giver her that.  I had a relapse around 19, and it has been coming back since then.  I feel all there is are barriers preventing me from doing the right things to progress in life and be successful.  I know that this sounds a bit like a rant, but this is how it is as I see it.  Everything (well, almost) revolves around the necessity of having an income to do things, and I guess that has somehow prevented me from doing so.  It's not that much better now either. I will try to send more updates and post more... regards.
Title: Re: Latest
Post by: Amanda_George on September 02, 2019, 08:28:08 AM
@Amanda_George

Firstly, it's not really talk therapy, CBT and so on that I truly need, it is a job and independence and a need for personal space and privacy which all of that can bring, and obviously some kinda place of my own.  Since my 20s I feel that I have just meandered throughout life, which sounds vague and just a generalised statement; now it is feeling that is all too late to do anything about it, I have missed the boat.  I refuse to believe however, that it's all my fault, as that logical statement doesn't make any sense.


How about taking some online courses in things your passionate about?  It'll show potential future employers that you are looking to keep up with current trends and stuff.  There are a few free courses on OpenLearn from the Open University and there's Alison which gives you taster courses for free that you could put on your CV.

What sort of jobs are you applying for?  Is it something you can do online and put on a webpage or anything like that?  Something you can do with no pressure, but when the dreaded interview question ("what have you been doing since you left your last job?") comes up, you can say "I've learnt how to create homepages, you can see mine at abc.xyz and I've been taking online courses to keep my knowledge up to date" etc etc which will hopefully create a better impression than saying you've been too ill to work or whatever.  By all means say that you've been ill but say that you're fully recovered now and eager to get back into the workforce, then you can produce the URL with your courses you've taken.

How would you feel about volunteering in your local community for a few days a week?  That looks good in interviews too.  Be really positive but totally honest, just try and focus on the positive things you've done to overcome the not so positive things you've been and are currently going through.  Turn their negativity into the positive things you've achieved.

I haven't worked in over 20 years but I've got 60 courses that I've taken and books I've written as well as 3 websites I've learnt to code by hand that I can talk about when they bring up my 20 years of unemployment.  One of the courses I've taken is about CV writing and interview techniques that might help you too?

It's never too late until you take your final breath, you just need to learn to rephrase questions from interviewers   ;)
Title: Re: Latest
Post by: lostmyway on September 02, 2019, 11:41:26 AM
I appreciate your positivity, that's a good thing.  The past 6 years have been very difficult, so it isn't really surprising I am where I am now. I could also look into the OpenLearn thing, as those courses don't cost anything.  Volunteering is an option, but I would rather be working in a paid job - IT isn't an easy area to get volunteering experience, as I have already looked into that sometime ago.  Also, interviews are indeed a bane of my life at times, but I am not the only one.

As for being ill, sadly that is true... it has made me quite sick and tired of a lot of things.  Unemployment makes you feel useless and broken, and all the side-effects of that come along with being in the situation; you get tired of trying and doing the same round-and-around silly, pointless activities, until you just stop altogether and say "to hell with it".
Title: Re: Latest
Post by: Pip on September 02, 2019, 08:56:05 PM
Sadly being unemployed makes life very difficult, apart from anything else the lack of a living wage makes life hard as you're restricted financially to do much.  This Universal Credit is a minefield in itself.  My sister was a manager for the DWP until the end of November last year when she chose to retire - my sister is 60 anyway.  She really didn't want to have to learn about Universal Credit which she believes can be a good thing but it's also a problem for people who are addicts, older people, those with disabilities etc   

Both my husband and I are both disabled, he claims ESA (support group), PIP and Motability, I get PIP and Motability in my own right.  We don't have the stress of searching for work which is good really despite living with disabilities and financially we can cope.  We are virtually unemployable due to one disablity - osteoarthritis - and my age is another factor as I am 57 which is wrong but it is a real discrimination.  The Job Centre and DWP know we volunteer and don't have a problem with it as they see it as working for our benefits and know our limits.  We are the fortunate ones as we don't have to worry about money.

In your situation it's completely different and equally important you do actually want to work.  It's easy for someone like me to say that your chance of employment will come but it doesn't work like that in real life.
 
Title: Re: Latest
Post by: lostmyway on September 02, 2019, 09:51:54 PM
No, it doesn't work like that in real life.  I thought the desire to do something different for a change, would bring about a new opportunity and future. So far, that hasn't been the case. Money is a problem, but the boredom dulls my brain to such an extent... I don't know how other people cope with it.  I would love to say that social mobility exists for 99 percent of the population, but I think it is an urban myth for the most part.   A few will make it, I am sure that's the case.  Personally, I have found it very tough going, I don't see a way out of this minefield of self-doubt and despairing right now... I am trying to find an answer but most of the time all I get is a blank.
Title: Re: Latest
Post by: Amanda_George on September 03, 2019, 07:30:37 AM
What in particular holds your interest in the IT field?  Could you create a website offering your services freelance initially maybe?  When I first moved to Gloucester I sorted out my CV and contacted temping agencies so that I would have a semi-regular income and the agency found jobs for me while I was looking for something permanent.  That's how I got my permanent admin job before I suddenly became physically ill for some reason and lost the job... is there anything similar you can do local to you?  Maybe search for temping agencies in your area then make a list of all the addresses, polish up your CV, print out enough copies for all of the temping agencies and a few more spares then get dressed smartly and head out confident that you'll soon get a job (even if that's not how you feel). 

Look at your list of temping agencies and work your way through them one by one, just letting them know that you're available for work if they need you then leave your CV with them.  Be as positive and upbeat as you can then treat yourself to a healthy lunch in your favourite place and get ready to go around all the businesses that you can find and ask to speak to their HR department in the afternoon, leave your CV with them, smile, shake their hand and leave.

Set aside a week to do that with all the temping agencies and businesses in your area and do your best to be the confident, friendly person of their dreams that they don't even know they need yet.

You can do it Lost!
Title: Re: Latest
Post by: Pip on September 03, 2019, 06:05:31 PM
It's worth going to the Job Centre and asking for an appointment about potentially starting up your own business, check out this information https://www.gov.uk/moving-from-benefits-to-work/starting-your-own-business.  You may be entitled to New Enterprise Allowance which, if you are eligible, which can help with having a mentor and potentially grants.  An added bonus is you can work from home.
Title: Re: Latest
Post by: Amanda_George on September 03, 2019, 08:50:51 PM
You've got nothing to lose by asking and potentially your own business with your own hours doing what you enjoy most to gain!   :happy0158:
Title: Re: Latest
Post by: lostmyway on September 04, 2019, 08:18:20 PM
Starting my own business? like what exactly? Going round businesses with CVs is an approach of years gone by, most send CVs by email and registering on websites.  You honestly think I am feeling confident right now? As for working from home, I am tired of being at home - you gotta be kidding, surely? Agencies around here mostly are warehouse/factory/admin/ etc.  I should know, I live here.  I'm at a lower ebb than most realise, only I hide it fairly well IRL.

Title: Re: Latest
Post by: Amanda_George on September 05, 2019, 07:15:35 AM
Which part of IT interests you most?  Is it programming or website creation like my hubby, or building computers or supporting software issues or teaching people to use computers or something else?  Do you have transport you could use to visit people in their home or at their workplace for the teaching or something like that?  Is there like a local newspaper or even newsletter you could advertise your services and abilities in?  Maybe go to the agencies and offer your IT experience to the places that are already advertising their jobs with each agency - offer your services in things they don't even know they need yet... like with my childcare job?

The handing out CV's in person is another one I suggested from experience - I gave my CV to a shopper's creche even though they weren't looking for staff and within a week I had an interview with them and a fortnight later I was wearing the uniform and getting to know the names of the regular children and staff.  They wouldn't have known even my name without me taking the bull by the horns and just asking them to consider me whenever they needed help   ;)

The small businesses in your area might not have an email address or website so they wouldn't be able to accept CVs submitted by email but they might still be looking for staff.  Yes, many places do request email submission, but smaller businesses may not have a clue how to use their computers, which is where you come in with your printed CV   ;D

Title: Re: Latest
Post by: lostmyway on September 05, 2019, 05:12:35 PM
I am not that sure now, mostly networking.  Programming isn't really my thing, although I know some coding.  I have a car, even though it is pretty old now; my problem is that I have very little commercial experience in this sector and his been a problem since the beginning.   It's a tough area to get into and at this juncture, I may think about going back into warehousing (which I hate).  It has really been getting me down like hell lately, but it seems to be beyond my control right now.   

The bottom line is... if you don't have commercial experience, you are knackered.
Title: Re: Latest
Post by: Amanda_George on September 05, 2019, 05:56:58 PM
Is there any way you can find out which small to medium-sized businesses in your area are expanding and need a bit of help with the techy side of things?  Is there like a local paper or newsletter you can look at to do some research on?  Maybe your local library could help you by letting you offer your services via a poster on their noticeboard or business cards for people to take with them for free to smaller local business that don't have the foggiest about anything to do with computers?  Is there any way you can go down smaller streets or to schools, colleges and universities during school half terms to bring them into the 21st century.

I understand that you are looking for something permanent, but being willing to work at short notice or only during certain dates/times might lead to them going "maybe we need someone more permanent..." and their first thought will be towards people they already have experience of their abilities and know that you're reliable, capable, honest and trustworthy so they don't need to jump through hoops to advertise the job they didn't even know existed before you came onto the scene.

Every one of my jobs since leaving school have either been temp jobs/work experience that have become permanent or me dropping off my CV and saying "if you need anyone, the details are at the top of my CV and I'm available whenever you need me" - although they haven't been advertised as permy but after a couple of weeks of me being on the team and proving how indespensable I am to then, my boss went to her boss and convinced him who went to HR who discussed it and in the last couple of days of the temp assignment, my boss asked to have a private word with me, we walked into an empty office and she offered me the job unofficially and the contract was on my keyboard by the next morning.  Every time.

Don't rule anything out just because it's not what you're aiming for - if you are the right fit for the company, the right job will turn up when you least expect it   ;)
Title: Re: Latest
Post by: Pip on September 05, 2019, 07:10:54 PM
My husband, Rick, left school without any qualifications and finally we found out out he is slightly dyslexic - reading a book is slow going for him but he is much better reading of a computer screen.  Over the years Rick has worked on and off, been a taxi driver, seeling double glazing, Sky in the early days, have had leafleting teams, we even had our own removals and couriering business.Personally I loved it and one of my favourite trips used to be taking paperwork from the centre of London to Cheshire overnight.  It started on a shoestring and we did Chinese takeway deliveries to help.

Eventually Rick got really interested in web design after his mum died and I offered to type up her poetry.  Rick has never obtained any formal qualifications in web design and is completely self taught.  In recent years he has down a Methodist circuit website as two circuits merged and had already down a website for one of the circuits.  He's done all sorts including for personal trainer, shops etc - he feels like he's doing what he wants finally, is his own 'boss' although any profit goes to charity and he can work the hours he wants to do.

I agree that temping is better than nothing and you're gaining experience and you never know your self belief will improve and maybe set up a small business.
 
Title: Re: Latest
Post by: lostmyway on September 05, 2019, 09:15:38 PM
6 years 4 months and counting, and ppl wonder why I am depressed?
Title: Re: Latest
Post by: Amanda_George on September 06, 2019, 08:44:24 AM
I understand more than you realise, Lost.  It's been 21 years (not a typo) since I last worked and it's been depressing but don't lose hope or confidence in yourself for getting the job you want.  Practise faking confidence despite not genuinely feeling it... smile even though that's the last thing you want to do and dress smartly even though you want to just lay on the sofa in jeans and t-shirt covered with stains.  Set aside one day a week (I recommend NOT Monday or Friday) to go out with a folder full of CV's to each area you are willing to travel to 5 days a week, every week and do your best to convince yourself that you will get a job.

Take your time and never rush... they form an opinion of you from the moment you step through the door and you don't want that first impression to be that you're impatient.  Take your time and be prepared to wait for minutes at a time if they ask you to.  It's annoying, but they are testing your personality to see if you're a good fit for the company.

Go for it, Lost!

Title: Re: Latest
Post by: lostmyway on September 06, 2019, 06:01:56 PM
Well, the last thing I want to do is pound the pavement with a document wallet full of CV's tbh.  Yes, it's depressing and boring, and it does feel like nobody gives a xxxx.  The first 6-12 months were bad enough being without a job, it's about 10 times worse now.  My health has been failing because of it (I'm sure you know why).  I had a similar experience in my 20s, and don't remember it being this bad (probably because it wasn't)... but it was pretty grim during that time.

People need structure and a schedule to their lives in order to feel fulfilled.   Not hours watching TV and surfing the web, because there isn't anything else to do. I know that something will have to give, because this isn't living life.

 :bash:  :greensmilies004:
Title: Re: Latest
Post by: Amanda_George on September 06, 2019, 07:42:55 PM
That's totally understandable.

How about just exploring the side streets and making a mental note of which businesses are where... don't approach them yet, unless you feel particularly brave, just go for a drive/walk and see what's about?  Invest in good quality printer paper and a box of A4 envelopes as well as a large book of stamps, then go home and come up with a covering letter for each of those businesses.

Be upbeat, confident and really sell yourself to each of those businesses in your covering letter and finish off by saying that you are happy to cover sick leave or holidays at short notice (if you genuinely are) and you are happy to give them any more information they need.  Basically sell your self, your qualifications and your passions in the letter and leave them saying to themselves "maybe we should get this person in for an interview?"

Might be wise to research business parks etc within driving distance too?  Search your local areas for businesses who have a phone number but no email address or website too.  Have a look at other jobs too, if they seem to be expanding, make a note of their address and send your CV to them too.

You can do this, Lost... the right job is out there for you, you just haven't found each other yet is all.

:hug: if you want it?
Title: Re: Latest
Post by: Pip on September 07, 2019, 06:55:37 PM
That's the problem with being unemployed it is very boring, repetitive and depressing trying to find a job. 

I was unemployed for about 18 months and it was demoralising trying to find work, I also got very tired of being told I was over qualified to do the jobs I applied for.  It didn't matter that I was saying I wouldn't be applying for jobs if I thought I was over qualified.  My mum talked me into applying to be a student nurse and I only went through with it because I have a caring nature.  I virtually walked into nursing and I loved the practical side off it.  Eventually I left as I was being bullied which my up line knew about but everything they did to help me the bullying didn't stop.
Title: Re: Latest
Post by: lostmyway on September 07, 2019, 11:12:57 PM
I hear nursing is a very tough profession, more than people think.  I have a DipHE, which is the same level as a HND/Foundation Degree level qualification, so I think I could be over qualified for certain jobs too, if I was being honest. Having no job is like sticking a foot into mild acid, it won't hurt so much at first, but if you keep doing it over and over again, it will hurt like hell.

That's how it is, everyday.. the same old things, over and over again.  I was asked recently why I haven't written a personal summary of reasons why I want a job and how I fit that job - I didn't know... Confidence, inclination, knowing how, among other things.  Easy for others to criticise I guess.  It seems there is always a small amount of bullying/belittling in the workplace, it has happened to me.  So much so, I had seen the manager about it, and HR; it was not a pleasant experience. Someone I used to work with came up to me with a tote bin, slammed it on the floor and said "F'ing do this" isn't acceptable in any way, shape or form. That was a night I wanted to forget very quickly, but it is a long time ago now.  Long-term joblessness breaks you from the inside, it doesn't really matter what others are telling you, whether it is true or not because you are very tired and depressed, and people in that state never really listen - largely because it is too much energy to do so. Basically saying the symptoms have intensified in some ways, it's hard to summarise.
Title: Re: Latest
Post by: Amanda_George on September 08, 2019, 09:03:53 AM
How would you feel about researching grants or student loans or whatever to take your studying to the next level?  When the dreaded "what have you been doing since you left your last job?" question comes up at interview you can totally honestly say "I've been studying xyz at abc to improve my knowledge and qualifications to help me return to the career of my dreams".  That's why I'm studying online courses even though it's been over 20 years since I last worked   :thud:
Title: Re: Latest
Post by: lostmyway on September 08, 2019, 11:32:40 AM
Not sure.  I wasn't really planning going back to study.  As I said before, you need experience... you could do it for another 10 years without a job - enough is enough.
Title: Re: Latest
Post by: Amanda_George on September 08, 2019, 01:52:48 PM
How about volunteering somewhere?  It doesn't have to be IT related, even though that's what you are aiming to do, but volunteering would give you an answer to their question.  How about being an IT guru at your local library or something like that?  Or walking dogs?  Or being a regular visitor of the elderly in homes?  I know it's not want to do and you won't be paid, but you will be able to answer the interviewer's question about what you've been doing.  Do you know how to create websites?  If you do, you can put the word out about you offering that for individuals and small businesses too.

If you had a job interview for a good job at a decent wage, how would you answer their question about what you've been doing for the last 6 years?  If you could say you'd been studying or volunteering or whatever then hopefully your potential future employer could see that you've made the most of your time away from the workforce   ;)  I would say that I write books and create webpages at home... what could you say?   :hug:
Title: Re: Latest
Post by: lostmyway on September 08, 2019, 04:30:17 PM
I tried volunteering but I didn't seem to have what they were asking for. I also looked into doing something at the local library some years ago, but it didn't go anywhere.  I really don't know at this point.
Title: Re: Latest
Post by: Amanda_George on September 09, 2019, 01:12:19 PM
What sort of volunteering were you doing... was it something you were genuinely interested in and happy to do or was it the kinda thing that you struggled to get out of bed each morning for (BTDT myself)?  With the library was it to do with IT or returning books to shelves or whatever?  How would you feel about going back to the library and asking if they need any kind of IT help... either with or without interacting with the library users?  My local library is desperate for an IT bod to give lessons in how to use the internet and use computers is all... maybe your library is the same but doesn't know enough to get their computers online or how to use social media or whatever?  They might say no - but they might also say yes!  Does your library have a jobs board or job fair or anything like that?  Mine does and if yours doesn't, it might be something to suggest?   :happy0158:
Title: Re: Latest
Post by: lostmyway on September 11, 2019, 06:03:44 PM
Oh, the machines were definitely online, the last time I looked.  I went to see them a few years ago and nothing happened to speak of; I don't know whether it is a lack of confidence on my part or what.  They built a new building, so I don't know if the same staff are still there or not.  Job fairs in the area of England I am in? it's a possibility, but the last one I went to wasn't that great. I'm 'desperate' to earn a living after being without one for so long... bit of a joke really.
Title: Re: Latest
Post by: Amanda_George on September 12, 2019, 09:51:25 AM
Might be worth another trip to the library?  Dunno about yours, but my library offers support and advice about getting a job for a couple of hours twice a week... might be worth asking about if yours offers something similar too?

Maybe have a look for books you can borrow while you are there for ways to increase your confidence and see if they can point you to more local ways to find a job too?  Is your job centre easy to get to or anything like that?  If it is, they might be able to help you too?

You can do this, Lost!
Title: Re: Latest
Post by: Amanda_George on September 12, 2019, 11:15:37 AM
We're currently catching up with a TV programme on the BBC about an experiment with people who have absolutely no hospital experience, never even been to one to visit a relative or anything like that and Steve said he'd fancy having a go at that, just like the volunteering he did at the steam railway before his legs got bad.  Is there anything like that you could try?  Something totally different to computers and networking that would obviously start at the very bottom of the ladder and not be paid, but you might really enjoy it and you'd be helping everyone with jobs that take time and are definitely helpful to the paid staff.  The hospital volunteers are keeping patients conscious and doing obs and taking on the food rounds and wheeling patients to and from x-ray and things like that - very minor jobs but they are the sorts of things that the nurses usually do that take up time that could be used saving someone's life. 

When Steve volunteered at the steam railway he would clean engines, break up wooden pallets, fetching things for the fireman, cleaning and trimming lamps, making mugs of tea, "general manual labour around the shed", fetching and carrying, tidying up etc and he said, on his very first day there he even helped to take a connecting rod off Black Prince so that it could be cleaned.  All manual labour but he felt like he was "giving something back and doing something useful" with his time and life.  He's passionate about steam trains so I bought him a lifetime membership to our local preserved line and he lived for the weekend because it was sooo different to what he did during the week and he felt like he was giving something back not only to the steam railway but also to the local community too.

What are you truly passionate about?  For Steve it's steam trains for me it's childcare... what are you so passionate about that you would be willing to work for free a day or so a week?  Something totally different to networking?  Find something that puts a huge grin on your face and makes you look forward to your next time doing it... I willingly changed poo-filled nappies several times a day because I'm passionate about children and Steve willingly did manual labour because it meant that he could get close to the trains.  When there was a gala at the railway, Steve would leave the house at 5am and not be home much before 10pm both days of the weekend, he'd be absolutely exhausted but the genuine grin he had plastered on his face the whole time was soo worth it.  If you find a volunteering opportunity in that area, when the interview question comes up about what you've done since your last job, you'll be able to talk passionately about it.  I didn't shut up about the shoppers creche I worked in every weekend and Steve still doesn't shut up about the trains!  lol

Look deep inside yourself and find something that you would be willing to work for free in if all your bills were covered... something that makes your eyes sparkle and that you could talk about 'til the cows come home.
Title: Re: Latest
Post by: Pip on September 12, 2019, 03:28:05 PM
I watched a bit of that program, a great idea as nurses often don't have the time to chat with patients which they enjoy.
Title: Re: Latest
Post by: Amanda_George on September 12, 2019, 05:43:11 PM
Exactly, Pip!  They are run off their feet and don't have time to do the things they want and that would make the patients' stays less stressful.  On the one that we watched this morning, one of the volunteers stayed 2 hours beyond her shift so that she could go back and see how one of her (child) patients was doing.  The child was fast asleep but the mum really appreciated the volunteers support when they were first introduced.  I did that every weekend in the shoppers' creche because I loved working with the kids so much and Steve felt the same way about his visits to the railway.  The early starts and pooey nappies were soo worth it to both of us that we honestly didn't mind doing it every weekend - we looked forward to it!
Title: Re: Latest
Post by: lostmyway on September 12, 2019, 06:21:22 PM
Pushing patients around in wheelchairs? I don't think so. Not really sure if there is anything I feel strongly about; that's just an opinion.  I live in a town that was built because of trains, but that doesn't mean I am nuts about them.
Title: Re: Latest
Post by: Amanda_George on September 12, 2019, 07:27:40 PM
It doesn't have to be hospitals or trains... it can be helping out in a shop over Christmas (especially smaller, more local, independent shops) or walking dogs or babysitting or visiting the elderly whose family have forgotten about them or answering phones in a garage, or cleaning schools or businesses when they've closed for the day or helping with the accounts or shelf stacking or setting up a homework/revision club or unofficial, informal tours of your town or if your interested in sports, maybe setting up or helping an already formed sports team or setting up computers/websites for local businesses or individuals or anything like that.

What sort of TV programmes and films interest you?  Is there anything you feel is missing in your town that you could set up an informal gathering to either set up yourselves or at least approach your town council about it. 

Have you got a Church or cemetery you could go to so that you can mow the grass or fill up the water in the flower pots or remove dead flowers or anything like that?  You can be the local Good Samaritan and it's something else to put on your CV which will warm future employers up to you too, before they've even met you   :happy0158:
Title: Re: Latest
Post by: lostmyway on September 12, 2019, 09:50:51 PM
Voluntary work is fine... in principle, but I have no regular income.  It's probably going to cost money going to these places, and meanwhile my bank balance is dwindling.  I just feel I have wasted way too much time already, drifting from one thing to another.  My GP called me pessimistic, well... wouldn't you be in my position?  Plus depression makes you that way, it's just a  fact.  I see somebody from the nhs/council once a week to see if he can help, but I have been seeing him since June and nothing has happened.

People want me to stay enthusiastic and motivated/positive, how do I do that feeling the way I do right now?  Fact is, I need money to live on, and I can't earn anything working for a local charity (yes, it gives me experience).   At times I think people just miss the point.
Title: Re: Latest
Post by: Amanda_George on September 13, 2019, 07:54:50 AM
Are you getting all the benefits you're entitled to?  ESA and PIP for example?  How about looking into not paying tax (legally of course) and maybe getting free prescriptions and payments to cover heating your home over Winter? 

Your local CAB will be able to help you to make sure you are getting everything you are entitled to and help you to claim things you're entitled to but aren't currently getting.  If you've got credit cards and loans that you're paying PPI on, apply for that too so that it's one less thing to worry about?  The house you're living in, is it rented or mortgaged?  If it's rented then you might be able to get more benefits to cover a chunk of that each month too.

Ask your GP for a referral to adult social services too... they might be able to provide free support and refer you to local places that might help you to get a job too.
Title: Re: Latest
Post by: Pip on September 13, 2019, 09:02:24 PM
Yes there is help out there to be had.  We've been fortunate over the past couple of years as the Benefits agency have awarded us benefits we didn't even know about which is a miracle in itself.  Anyway you need money to live on so the CAB is a good place to start.
Title: Re: Latest
Post by: lostmyway on September 15, 2019, 10:15:11 PM
Well, I managed to save money from my last job, so it means I am not entitled to benefits, as it is over the threshold.  The house is owned.  Credit cards I don't have, thank god.  I have a student loan, but I am not currently working and earning 25k a year to start paying that back again.
Title: Re: Latest
Post by: Amanda_George on September 16, 2019, 09:57:42 AM
Ah right, okey dokes.  I still reckon you should go to the CAB to see if they can help you with anything... your GP too, as long as you trust him/her.  What about local newspapers and the Job Centre?  Are there any networking magazines you can get or setting yourself up as a sole trader?  If you do that and you get a website and business cards printed you can work for yourself and in your local area... the CAB and Job Centre can help you with that, no matter what you've got in your savings!   :happy0158:

Title: Re: Latest
Post by: lostmyway on September 16, 2019, 03:16:06 PM
Not sure about the CAB to be honest.  The GP perhaps, depending on the problem.  As for your sole trader point, I'm not really sure about that, it depends on what is being sold I guess.
Title: Re: Latest
Post by: Amanda_George on September 17, 2019, 10:55:03 AM
You're selling your networking abilities... helping small businesses who are expanding or giving advice about setting up personal networks or you could maybe ask ISPs if they want your abilities or local businesses who are having issues with their current network or giving advice online about how to properly set up a network or something like that?  If there are any temping agencies, maybe approach them to see if they want/need your services?   :happy0158:
Title: Re: Latest
Post by: Pip on September 17, 2019, 07:10:09 PM
What Amanda said.

The CAB can potentially be helpful as they know about benefits and can point you in the right direction for help.  You don't know until you try and there are incentives to get back to work or start your own business.
Title: Re: Latest
Post by: lostmyway on September 18, 2019, 04:01:56 PM
Okay, well I'm going to summarise it for you... IT is a tough nut to crack without the relevant commercial experience.  I feel like I have been learning forever, without getting anything back for it. I am not entitled to benefits, as I said earlier on.  I need to write a decent professional profile and a few other things, but it's like smacking your head against a brick wall. 
Title: Re: Latest
Post by: Pip on September 18, 2019, 05:18:17 PM
It's not impossible to get into IT but I will agree it's not easy either.  Getting your CV just so is a constructive battle you can work on ... I was taught a valuable lesson that it's not just about your qualifications it's also about padding it out.  You can put in that you're keen to learn more, what part of IT you enjoy the most, any weakness you want to improve on etc, show you're keen to improve on what you already know.
Title: Re: Latest
Post by: lostmyway on September 18, 2019, 08:22:29 PM
It is a bit of an art form to get the CV exactly how it should be, I must admit.  You're right, it needs padding out.  It's something I don't have a huge talent for, but I have to keep trying, even tho it's the last thing I want to do.
Title: Re: Latest
Post by: Amanda_George on September 19, 2019, 10:54:00 AM
What is it about networking that you are truly passionate about?  What makes your eyes sparkle and you can talk passionately about?  Start off by writing a bullet-pointed list of what you are passionate about in networking then write a sentence passionately describing it and why you love it so much for each item in the list.  Now form those sentences into a paragraph and make it sound as exciting and passionate as you can. 

You can do this, Lost, you just need to find the motivation to get started on it... find something to encourage yourself and reward yourself each time you achieve each of the goals.  For me it's a bottle of J20 for every four chapters I write in a day during NaNo and for Steve it's a Turkish Delight twice a week if he cooks for us both for each of the seven days of the week (one on Friday and the other on the Sunday).  Find something for you... a mug of cafetierre coffee or bar of chocolate or a trip to the park or stick of fudge or whatever works for you for every section you complete.  Something small to encourage you and no cheating   ;)
Title: Re: Latest
Post by: lostmyway on September 19, 2019, 03:39:49 PM
I actually finished that networking module in 2016.  At this stage, it support/helpdesk etc would be okay tbh.  Networking too, of course.
Title: Re: Latest
Post by: Amanda_George on September 19, 2019, 07:06:48 PM
I know pretty much nothing about computer support and helpdesks - Steve's my go-to for everything computery so I apologise in advance if these are stupid questions, but is it the sort of thing you can do online or over the phone or anything like that?  Do you have any local, maybe smaller ISPs or anything like that?  Would it be worth dropping them a quick email offering your services "either now (I can start tomorrow) or at any time you need me in future" kinda thing?  They might be looking for emergency helpdesk people when people don't turn up or phone in sick or whatever... not exactly what you are looking for but being available immediately would put you at the front of their mind and might get them thinking "might be good to employ them so that we can grow bigger" like with my childcare job - I was the only qualified member of staff so they could take more children and stay open longer and stuff like that... they didn't know they needed me until I dropped off my CV on the off-chance.

With networking, does it involve wires and stuff or is it all done behind the scenes now?  Do you have transport and are you willing to travel if it involves wires?
Title: Re: Latest
Post by: lostmyway on September 20, 2019, 06:29:10 PM
There are many businesses that use some kind of IT infrastructure.  I think you mean Ethernet cables, when you say wires... Cat 5e, Cat 6 etc.  Networking can involve a lot of different devices. Switches, routers, bridges, and the various devices that can connect to it e.g. laptops, desktops, tablets, smartphones, smart TV's, Card readers (chip and pin) and so on, printers.. and so on.
Title: Re: Latest
Post by: Amanda_George on September 21, 2019, 10:59:19 AM
:thud:

Which one of those are you most passionate about?  Which one could you talk about for minutes without interruption?  You completely lost me with the Ethernet cables lol
Title: Re: Latest
Post by: lostmyway on September 23, 2019, 07:19:14 PM
The Ethernet cable is normally yellow and connects to the router and pc/laptop.
Title: Re: Latest
Post by: Amanda_George on September 24, 2019, 08:35:20 AM
We've got a wireless router upstairs and the only cables are a red one, a blue one and a grey one... if it was a wired router, would the lead attaching the router to the computer be the yellow one?  If so, how do you connect 2 or more computers to it please?
Title: Re: Latest
Post by: lostmyway on September 24, 2019, 12:55:59 PM
It can depend on the model sometimes, but normally there are more of them at the back (mine has 4).  If you have Wi-Fi available, you should be able to do it that way (probably easier tbh).   The cables can come in different colours, probably a cat 5e or similar... it should be fine.
Title: Re: Latest
Post by: Amanda_George on September 24, 2019, 02:58:38 PM
You've lost me already!   :giggle:  What on earth is cat 5e please??   :thud:
Title: Re: Latest
Post by: lostmyway on September 26, 2019, 07:59:53 PM
Quoted from Wikipedia

'Category 5 cable (Cat 5) is a twisted pair cable for computer networks. Since 2001, the variant commonly in use is the Category 5e specification (Cat 5e). The cable standard provides performance of up to 100 MHz and is suitable for most varieties of Ethernet over twisted pair up to 1000BASE-T (Gigabit Ethernet). Cat 5 is also used to carry other signals such as telephony and video.

This cable is commonly connected using punch-down blocks and modular connectors. Most Category 5 cables are unshielded, relying on the balanced line twisted pair design and differential signaling for noise rejection.'
Title: Re: Latest
Post by: Amanda_George on September 27, 2019, 02:12:05 PM
I'm even more confused now... what does Category 5 mean and actually do, in non technical language please?  Is it the sort of thing that  you do in an office over the phone or is it more of a practical things where you actually twist the wires together yourself?  How do you connect the twisted wires to the computer??

Sorry for being so dumb!  Bet you're regretting mentioning it now, right?   :sSig_lol3:
Title: Re: Latest
Post by: lostmyway on September 27, 2019, 07:53:27 PM
CAT 5 is basically an Internet cable, or network cable. There are 3 types - straight through, crossover and roll-over.  The cable from your PC to router would probably be a straight through cable. The 3 types are wired in different ways.

Title: Re: Latest
Post by: Pip on September 27, 2019, 09:15:00 PM
I understand what lostmyway means  :happy0158: - I had one laptop that would be fine for awhile being wireless then I would need to have it wired but after we moved it went back to working fine as wireless.  Strange really.   
Title: Re: Latest
Post by: Amanda_George on September 28, 2019, 11:54:16 AM
CAT 5 is basically an Internet cable, or network cable. There are 3 types - straight through, crossover and roll-over.  The cable from your PC to router would probably be a straight through cable. The 3 types are wired in different ways.

You've completely lost me again lol

I understand what lostmyway means  :happy0158: - I had one laptop that would be fine for awhile being wireless then I would need to have it wired but after we moved it went back to working fine as wireless.  Strange really.   

When we moved into our likkle 'ouse it was a wired connection and now it's totally wireless.  Did you change ISPs when you moved house, Pip?  Our ISP keeps saying that it's because our router is old now, strange that we get our internet connection back without using a new router though, so that means that the problem is on their end, not ours, right??
Title: Re: Latest
Post by: Pip on September 28, 2019, 08:30:36 PM
We never got to the bottom of it but wasn't too much of an irritation.  All our tech - pcs, laptops, ipads, kindles and tablets - are wireless now which is much better.
 
Title: Re: Latest
Post by: Amanda_George on September 29, 2019, 11:00:34 AM
Totally agree with you about wireless being better!  Does your connection ever just totally drop out though?  Not just for minutes but for hours at a time?
Title: Re: Latest
Post by: Pip on September 29, 2019, 07:15:49 PM
No, we were on Plusnet for a few years and never had a problem with it but we have gone over to Virgin which has just started up in our town.  We got signed up quickly so got a good deal and haven't had any problems so far.  We were on Sky before Plusnet which was good to start off with but then it started going slower and dropping out.  It got so bad that engineers started coming out as Sky was convinced the problem was inside our home.  It wasn't and the engineers would ring up Sky in font of us and told Sky the problem was their end and in the end we lost the internet connection completely.  That's when we went over to Plusnet and we were relieved to get back online as we went two weeks without the internet.  Sky never admitted the problem was their end.
Title: Re: Latest
Post by: Amanda_George on September 30, 2019, 09:26:14 AM
It sounds like you were having the same problems with Sky as we recently had with Virgin... I hope your connection stays up for longer than ours does sometimes!  Do you have your landline phone and TV with them too?  We do and we are usually happy with them but when things go wrong, they go splat in a big way!   :bash:
Title: Re: Latest
Post by: Pip on October 01, 2019, 05:34:58 PM
It's about 6 years ago and we just had our phone and broadband with Sky.  That's when we went over to Plusnet which is good for broadband & telelphone although we did have Sky for about 6 years for the television until we went over to Virgin about three weeks ago.
Title: Re: Latest
Post by: Amanda_George on October 01, 2019, 08:30:09 PM
We've been with Virgin since they bought out Blueyonder and they are usually really good, but when something goes wrong it goes wrong in a big way  :bash: lol
Title: Re: Latest
Post by: lostmyway on October 10, 2019, 06:58:33 PM
You can always just use WiFi, if it's practical to do so.  Wired Internet can be more stable, but WiFi quality will get better in time e.g. faster, more reliable etc.  5G is about to happen soon with tablets and smartphones, if it hasn't already done so. 
Title: Re: Latest
Post by: Amanda_George on October 10, 2019, 08:15:35 PM
We've used wireless for at least a decade and it just wouldn't be safe to go back to wired any more 'cos the router is upstairs and the computers are downstairs.  T'was fine and dandy when we both used desktops upstairs, but we use laptops downstairs now  :happy0158:
Title: Re: Latest
Post by: lostmyway on October 12, 2019, 03:39:50 PM
It will get faster, more stable and reliable, more secure and so on.  The older standards are more unpredictable and unreliable, with people nearby using the old 802.11 b/g standard and sharing channels. Like everything else, it just evolves with time.
Title: Re: Latest
Post by: Amanda_George on October 13, 2019, 11:24:23 AM
That's just gone flying over my head lol
Title: Re: Latest
Post by: lostmyway on October 14, 2019, 06:35:11 PM
There's a lot of techy language and acronyms that are used. WiFi 6 is coming soon, but what does this mean, ultimately?

1. Increased battery life for devices
2. Efficiency of networks improved
3. Throughput speed is upgraded by up to 40 percent.

Also, in areas of network congestion you will get better speeds overall.  With WiFi 6,  your signal won't conflict with other neighbourhood wifi signals aka interference as much any more.  Mostly, it was because routers were using the same WiFi channel.
Title: Re: Latest
Post by: Amanda_George on October 15, 2019, 09:05:02 AM
I understand number 1 but the other two have gone flying over my head again lol
Title: Re: Latest
Post by: lostmyway on October 17, 2019, 06:03:38 PM
Network efficiency is basically how well a network exchanges information (send/receive).  Throughput speed is how much data can be sent from one location to another within a given amount of time, it is also used to measure RAM and hard-drive performance levels.
Title: Re: Latest
Post by: Amanda_George on October 17, 2019, 08:51:24 PM
:thud:

Waaay beyond me I'm afraid... sorry!   :giggle:
Title: Re: Latest
Post by: Pip on October 17, 2019, 09:02:21 PM
I'm impressed with your knowledge  :happy0158: