Depression Forums
General => I need to vent! => Topic started by: lostmyway on February 14, 2017, 07:37:00 PM
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Hi all
I have been looking for a job since 2013 and i STILL don't have another job. Do the DWP expect me to live on fresh air, or is that expected these days? As previously mentioned I have been studying for a degree since 2013 also, and am still doing it. I look on Indeed for something to apply for, and find practically nothing.. and when I do find something I get no reply whatsoever?
I am only 45 and am not ready to retire just yet. Voluntary work is fine but it doesn't pay any bills. I honestly do not know what to do for the best. I have never been able to move out as I have never had a job that paid enough money. I had one for 13 years but that was low-paid and had a lack of prospects. I am completely in limbo and dont know what to do anymore. There is a job club in my local town that is held once a week but that's about as much help as you can expect around here from anybody. It's a very depressing situation to be in and do not know what to do next.
I applied for 3 jobs last week but got no reply.
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Might be worth applying for ESA and PIP? It's far from ideal but better than nothing until you find a job. The ones that don't reply to you aren't worth bothering with, I reckon... if they can't send a reply to you out of politeness, they may not care about their employees that are already there either?
Don't give up, keep trying... there's something out there for you!
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Hi Amanda_George
Thanks for your kind words. I don't think I am eligible for ESA/PIP. Because I bothered to save something, I can't apply for JSA anyway, so basically my NI stamp isn't getting paid and consequently it may affect my state pension in the future. Due to the kindness of my mother I stay where I am but it is VERY emasculating for somebody my age. Maybe I should pray every night and something might happen?
Regards
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Maybe take a trip to your local CAB and email the benefits agency? Social services too - the Gloucester one has a benefits advisor so hopefully your local adult social services will have one too?
Don't give up, just keep looking and you will find a job when the time is right :hug:
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I agree with Amanda and you should be able to get some kind of benefit.
My husband has been on Income Support and Incapacity Benefit for years. Back in late 2012 / early 2013 I applied for DLA but got turned down despite having osteoarthrits in my right hip, both hands and my right wrist and lost my appeal. All the panel did was go on about my hands and completely disregarded everything else that my doctor had written.
My husband applied for PIP as he has health problems as well so I decided to try again. We both got PIP which is dealt with better than DLA was and we both had thorough medicals. I got the enhanced rate and got awarded motabilityat the enhanced rate. Last year my husband got awarded the enhanced rate of motability although he is still on the standard rate of PIP.
It is worth persevering with trying to get benefits and living with your mother shouldn't make any difference.
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Hi Pip
I don't really have any disability or serious illness that prevents me from working, so a GP or Health Assessor or whatever you would call it would probably notice the fact. I have been trying since 18 to get somewhere and have ended up on my backside career wise and everything else. It's not like I haven't tried. Furthermore, I don't like claiming welfare because your life isn't your own once you do so.
If you involve government, it normally ends up a mess.. I am not sure what makes you think I am eligible for PIP or ESA if I was honest about it.
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The tory govt. is making it so hard for people to claim welfare now. I'm not entitled to jsa because of 'savings'. People on ESA get thrown onto JSA even when its obvious they cannot work.
This country is going to hell in a handbasket.
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Have you looked at the ESA forms? Maybe apply for it and talk about your depression on bad days and barely mention good days? You can't be expected to live on nothing! :hug:
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No but they obviously do, don't they? The ones that have paid nothing into the system are the ones they should sanction and leave out. But this is the world we live in.
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Is there a CAB near you? Maybe email them and ask for their help to get benefits? :hug:
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I know people who get benefits who don't deserve it and one goes as far as using his son's motability car - son has learning disabilities (mental age of 8) - without being in car and uses his son's blue badge without his son being in the car. Even when we had this young man staying with us the father refused to give us the blue badge as he needed it.
I still think you should apply for benefits which you are entitled to do AND there is no shame in doing so.
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It is means tested and 16k is the threshold. I have over that due to working for 14 years straight, and being able to save some of the salary I was working for. Ironilcally, the last place I want to go for job and careers advice is the Job Centre. I have lost momentum, hope and everything else, the symptoms are getting worse and unfortunately don't see a silver bullet to change this nightmar-ish situation.
I honestly didn't expect this to last for 4 years (feels like forever now). Some would say move to another town but that costs money.. lots of it.
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:hug: I wish I had some words of encouragement for you... have you tried talking to your GP and asking to be referred to a psychologist or anything like that? :-\
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I have done that before and it didn't come to anything. Not convinced it really helps.
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How about writing a letter to your GP and let it all out? Say you need help and don't know where to go? :hug:
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I could but I can almost guarantee that it wont get anywhere. I went to a thing called social prescribing - and that wasn't much help to me. CBT and counselling will be about all he will offer. Also a change of meds but that doesn't sort my life out.
I'd like to change the past, and I can't. I wish I could of moved on about 20 years ago, and I didn't (for various reasons). Emotionally I'm pretty screwed up and people don't want to hear it as I'm obviously complaining. It's hard to express it all in one sentence, or paragraph.
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Maybe let it all out here on the forum? We're not medical bods, but we can offer something doctors can't - genuine understanding :happy0158:
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True enough. I don't really know where to go from here, if I was honest. Why I have been this long without a job, god only knows. It's so boring being stuck at home day after day.
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What sort of jobs have you been applying for? Maybe you could to an NVQ in your area of work so that you will be learning and earning at the same time? It would be the college's job to find you a job and would still be earning 4 days a week and learning the other day?
:hug: if you want it? ^-^
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NVQs I have are NVQ Levels 1-3 in IT, and NVQ level 2 in Warehousing.
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How about something totally new and different? Art or creative writing or something like that? I'm qualified to work with children and also as an admin assistant and now I'm writing books for children because that's my passion... it gives me something to say in interviews when I'm asked what I've done with the last 1.5 decades... it's creative and keeps me busy during the day which helps with my depression too!
How about taking a course with the OU or something like that? Something that you can say you've been doing since you lost your previous job? Something creative?
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I dont know it depends on the market demand, and how much it pays. I am currently studying with the OU and am due to finish in May this year (DipHE in Computing and IT). I don't know if I would consider the Bsc or not... It's a possibility. Then again, I dont want to be staring at textbooks forever either.
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That's why I suggested something creative... something that you can learn the theory to then pour your heart into it - I've recently learnt the basics of CSS and I've got 3 blogs, not a single textbook in sight but it's something I can be creative with and can show employers what I've been doing for the last 15 years.
When I first became disabled I was using Front Page and using backgrounds that I found online, but now it's all done in HTML and CSS. Next up is either javascript or CMS - not a single text book in sight and I can be as creative as I like but every single thing is something I've created myself.
I write books for children too, again, not a single text book in sight and I'm querying agents and publishers. You can do it too, just find something totally new and creative that you can get lost in for a few hours a day.
Maybe get yourself into a bit of a routine too... not necessarily a minute by minute routine but give yourself a bit of a routine to stick to? Mine is that I wake up, take the pup for a walk, log on to my laptop and use it. 1pm comes and I have lunch then go back to using the laptop until I take my prescriptions then log off and go to bed.
If there are other things I need to do, I make time for them then carry on. The only time I've got a time in my diary is for lunch, but that's not rigid, it's just when Steve likes to eat is all :happy0158:
Find something that works for you, Lost... don't expect everything to go right straight away and don't put time limits on the things you do, just take things as they come and find something that works for you. Don't give up too easily, just keep tweaking until you find something that works for you and you'll get there in the end :biggrin:
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Level 3 (3rd year) modules involve Javascript I believe.
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Level 3 (3rd year) modules involve Javascript I believe.
I'm learning it all from Steve... how creative to you feel? Are you more drawing and painting or more of a creative writing and poetry sort of person?
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What about volunteering?
It may not be what you want to do and of course you don't get paid, the big BUT is you are yproving that you want to work, willing to learn knew skills and probably get references. I've been volunteering for years as I got fed up of not doing much apart from walking our dogs but the last one died two years ago.
I started at the once a week lunch church of which I was a member even though I had doubts that I would enjoy it. As it turned out I did enjoy that and later on I volunteered at another church that has two lunch clubs a week. The church where I helped out twice a week came to an end partly because of my arthritis has got much worse and partly because the vicar there is a nasty piece of work.
Apart from the weekly lunch club I help out at I also volunteer at a non profit making shop where the net profit goes to charities and local good causes. Nobody is paid so that helps with paying out funds.
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Volunteering is fine for those in a position to be able to afford to do it. It doesnt pay any bills. Changing subject I have struggled with 2 assessments at University and have been having suicidal thoughts lately - Think im reaching the end of my rope. My mother goes on about random BS all of the time and I get no break whatsoever from the situation 4 Years with a job is no joke, and just remind me that I have achieved nothing since leaving school... an nvq here and there and minimum wage jobs dont equate to anything. So here i am at 45 with practically nothing to show for it.
Then people say stay positive? Next joke.
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It seems to be still who you know, not what you know. I have missed the boat. I can't turn the clock back 20 years, it's not possible. All i can do is try and make the most of what time there is left.
I do wonder what (life) is really all about in a lot of ways, wonder where/why things have blown up seemingly in my face, but it's my lot in life (seemingly) so I have to get on with it whether it feels futile or not.
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I used to think that way too before I moved to Gloucester... I like Pip's idea of volunteering - that'll get you to know people in your area that might be looking to recruit? It's also something positive to put on your CV too :hug:
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Yes but lets not be under the illusion that there will be a decent job at the end of your period of volunteering. That's a fallacy.
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Maybe not, but it'll look good on your CV when you get invited for interviews :happy0158: :hug:
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It is indeed a case not who you know, not what you know, (or how big a brown nose one is willing to be)
unfortunatly the ideas of a keynesian philosophy to kick start the economy are long gone :(
and anyone looking for work has to battle through all the cheep labour some employers get from places like poland
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I've been having a terrible week. I did a weeks work with an agency, and went in the following monday. I got a call telling me I wasn't needed as the client had a full compliment of staff. The message was supposed to be relayed back on Friday but didnt get the full message, It was left out by the recruitment consultant. My mother is driving me utterly insane. I cannot have a basic and civilised convo anymore (she is 81). I tried to explain the week in hand principle but she had literally no clue what I was on about. I am pretty sure she had bad memory loss thesedays.
She has needed a haircut for literally months and WILL NOT do anything about it.
I am so bloody sick of everything, it's not even funny. I can really feel myself getting 'more sad' every single day, more angry, more frustrated, more irritated. I am literally at the end of my rope now. Everything is setting me off, mostly by my mother whos memory is shocking thesedays. I am very worried as I dont know how much stress I can take anymore
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I don't know what to say to help other than I sort of understand and I care. Unload here whenever you need to and I'll read, even if I don't know what to say :hug:
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I went to my GP yesterday. His diagnosis? " I guess you're a 'glass half-empty kind of person'. How VERY scientific... Not really helpful. :bash:
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!!! Is he the only GP in the surgery or are there other ones you can maybe see instead who have a better bedside manner than the idiot you saw? :arms:
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Well there are other GPs at the surgery that I could possibly make an appointment with. He was saying that I'm naturally pessimistic (realistic maybe, but whatever). Maybe if he lived my life for 6 months, we will see whether he gets depressed or not. I'm possibly at the lowest point I have been for years, this isn't how I am supposed to feel everyday. Try living with an 82 year old, having no job, no social circle, no chance of making my own life for myself. I have just turned 46 and things haven't worked out, am I supposed to be elated with glee about that? Is that the normal expected reaction to a situation like this? I don't think so !!
So maybe depression and anxiety is just attention seeking behaviour, and psychosomatic then?, as it would have had more medical credence.
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Sounds like you would be better with someone else as your GP! If it's attention seeking and psychosomatic then there are millions of people who are easily cured, so why aren't they? Oh yeah, because it's an illness just like cancer and Parkinson's and things like that! Grrr! :bash:
Have you got any other surgery's in your area that you could change to? My previous GP surgery was like yours until I changed to another one who respect me as a person as well as a patient unlike my previous one!
Maybe phone/email the CAB and Benefits Agency to see if they can help you as well?
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At the end I just want help. I don't care who the GP is. His flippant attitude is out of order... no empathy whatsoever.
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And you deserve to be helped too! Maybe ask to see one of the other doctors and take it from there?
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I could see another GP. Not entirely sure what he/she can honestly do about it. Different medication? counselling? therapy? What else is there?
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There's tests to make sure that your vitamin levels aren't low 'cos vitamins D and B12 really made a difference to my mood! There's being able to see things that your current GP might have missed. They may be able to come up with other ideas for you and hopefully they will actually listen to you. Maybe they could refer you to a specialist and just generally support you more than your current GP is doing :D
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Yeah probably. Anything is worth a shot right now. I don't really know why things have turned out the way they have, I wish I knew. But it doesn't seem fair to me.
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I agree with Amanda and it's worth seeing another GP. The practise I'm with has three surgeries and I tend to book online so I can choose who I see. If it's an ongoing thing I will ring up, for example I found out I am anaemic so have been on iron tablets.
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It's always easy for some to judge others when they aren't going through the same thing themselves (GP). Some doctors' bedside manner is distinctly lacking at times. Karma can come to bite people on the backside if they aren't careful. The levels of sadness and hopelessness are not something to be scoffed at and be flippant about... Some people have no clue, you are either empathic for others, or you are not. I'm not sure it is something you can be taught. ::)
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empathy is indeed somethin on has or odnt have. can take a while to find a doc at your local practice that you connect with
some of em are there just for the £££ and glory of a doc MD in their name the good ones are there to help people,
you might be waiting a while past your apointment time till you get to see them,
but its not bad, they give you the time ti takes, not bean counters who say you had your 10 min's, now sod off
thats NOT a doc, it's a quack