Depression Forums
General => Welcome our 'NEW MEMBERS'!! => Topic started by: Kyahstar on October 17, 2012, 01:15:30 PM
-
Hi
Nice to meet you all,
umm I'm like some people not diagnosed with any form of depression, but do feel that this site may offer some insight to why I feel certain feelings.
I'm 29 and male. I would say I've had a good life and have a good circle of friends, I work and not unpopular with people.
When I was younger at school I was bullied a lot and kinda brushed it under the carpet and ignored what people used to say. I have grown up a lot since then but still have a sense of self loathing which does appear when I eventually have a relationship. I have no problem in meeting girls and dating. although I tend to have the feeling that ehy are only there till someone better comes along. I constant feeling of loneliness and sadness follows me. Although I never show it to my friends as I don't feel like my problems are worth talking about. That and always worried that they will just tell me to grow up and get on with it or disown me.. the rational part of me knows that this isn't the case and that I'm a likable person. But a little voice plays in my head over and over saying that no one wants you, or needs you so don't bother... This has led me onto a lot of heavy drinking till I basically don't care about what happens.. although when I wake up I feel worse than ever and the cycle starts again.. I've tried to do things to keep me occupied and possibly meet new people, like joining a social club where we play poker and such (luckily gambling is something I can control as I don't play for money)
Funny thing is I'm sure that everything is ok and I know it is... but my brain tells me otherwise and I just feel trapped and lonely :(
bit of a long winded intro and sorry if this should be in a different place.. feel free to move it
hope that I can get advice or even just someone to vent at everysooften
-
Hi. +-_ Welcome to the site. This is a safe place to explore feelings and thoughts, and sometimes to explode when life gets you down. I have found everyone to be supportive and understanding, and I hope that you find things the same here. Best wishes.
-
Well that is why I'm here,
nice to know that I'm not essentially alone with my thoughts, my thoughts don't like me very much!
reaching out through here will hopefully help
-
Hello and welcome +-_.
S x x x x
-
Hey shaz nice to meet you :)
-
Hi and welcome *()
Z xx
-
$£$ and +_+
-
Hi... +-_ welcome... good to meet you too. You don’t need a Doc’s diagnosis to know you’re suffering depression. Searching for ways to deal with it, can hopefully lead to a positive outcome
I think you voice what many others experience. It's so difficult to admit depression. People fear what they don't understand. Subsequently, depression can be the secret illness for many. I've always kept my depression to myself. There are some people, who've known me for years, would never guess what's under this Cat-persona. When things are particularly bad and it's impossible to hide the torment, I retreat deep inside my cave, even pretend to be ill. I'd rather be labeled a hypochondriac than a depressive. %$£
Bullying can emotionally scar people for life. Brushing under the carpet, or pretending not to notice, is just that…. pretending. But, the enormous amount of hurt and self-doubt can be soul-destroying and easily manifest as self-loathing. Binging, as a means of escape, is something many of us do. It's so easy to get caught up in that vicious cycle. Your post sounds like you're putting conscientious effort into occupying some of your time doing things differently. That can't be easy and says a lot about your strength of character.
Hope you find the Forum helpful
-
Well if I'm doing something I'm generally not thinking about things that bother me about my life, it is easy to voice what is happening to me here because none of you actually know me and I don't feel judged in a place where people are working together to pull people through a bad time.
It is usually worse when I'm sitting home alone... like now.. find it very hard to switch myself off and just go to sleep, always tired at work in the day! they must wonder what I get up to every night! lol!
my "cycle" is very set in, I'm impressed that today I have gone the whole day with having a drink of any form :) so even though I have had a tough day I managed to get myself home instead of hiding behind my alternative persona in the pub. So very small steps and I might start becoming a functional person again.. seems a long way off atm though.
funny you should say about pretending to be ill. all of my sickness from work has been depression related... Where I've woken up and can't physically face anyone or anything :( just spend the whole day cuddling up to my cat doing nothing :s
Maybe I need someone to kick me in the backside and get me more motivated to do new things!
-
Sometimes it doesn't matter how much someone kicks our backside, if we're depressed, often there's not a lot we, or anyone, can do about it.
Well done for resisting temptation to drink. Less alcohol can only be a good thing. I'm sure it makes everyone's depression a lot worse. Hopefully, in time, it might also improve the sleep pattern.
-
I'm feeling a lot better today, I have something to look forward to, meeting a friend for a drink for his birthday, not staying out late tho as I want an early night again as this week sleeping has been pretty easy.. still Lonely at home but I'm keeping myself occupied
-
Hope you enjoy your evening with your friend :). S x x x x
Sent from my BlackBerry 9300 using Tapatalk
-
I will thank you I'll give you an update later :) xx
-
Aaaah another cat friendly person =+- .... hope you have a good time time c17
-
Meaow.... hope you have a good time tonight
-
I love cats, I love every kind of cat! I just wanna hug all them but I can't... can't hug every cat!
-
Have a good time!
Glad to hear you're feeling better!!
-
I think I'm having a good feeling stint at the moment :)
couple of bad moments but they aren't lasting too long... keeping myself as busy as possible
-
Unless you want to look like your face just went through a shredder, you wouldn't want to hug on of my cat's.
-
haahhahaah!!!!!!!!
My cat is getting better, he used to not let anyone touch him, now he is a big softy! Even the builder the other day had a long cuddling session with him, I was like "OMG no, he is going to shred him to bits!!" Think it's lucky he was hungry and waiting for his food!
-
That's good to hear Kyastar. S x x x x
Sent from my BlackBerry 9300 using Tapatalk
-
Yes, they're always so cute and on best behaviour when they know food's just around the corner.
-
So true!!!!
Especially when they realize that there is cat milk in the fridge.....
-
Hey Everyone.
It's been 5 years since I first wrote on this site. I wanted to message to say thank you for the support you guys gave me. It really helped. I have read my posts and they feel like a distant memory.
I wanted to message to give you an update. I disappeared because I met someone. Despite being in a very sad place back then I was still able to meet her. It was difficult at first as I had very deep seated trust issues and self loathing issues. She suffers from depression also but it seemed that while we were together we were both able to control ourselves.
My Drinking was pretty bad and I had just lost my job over it so things were looking pretty bad. She didn't seem to care. We ended up engaged after only 3 months and after 4 months she announced she was pregnant. This was the happiest I've ever been and was definitely the Kick up the backside I needed to do something with myself.
I ended up stopping drinking heavily (Still a social drinker once a month or so) and I was able to find myself a Job that I was happy in. My daughter was born in August 2014. She has been my rock and my best friend since. Things continued to go from strength to strength and We were married in September 2016. A week after our wedding we found out she was pregnant again and my second Daughter was born in May 2017. I've been promoted to a Team Leader this year too in the same job I got when I met her.
I guess I'm writing this to let you guys know that I haven't ever forgotten this site and will always let people know it's here if they need someone to talk to.
I'd never say I'm cured and neither will my Wife but with each others support we have pulled through and are leading a relatively normal life.
Remember that There will be a better future for everyone and I hope you find someone who can support you in life and make you as happy as I am now.
Much love to you all :hug:
-
It is amazing to read how well your life is now. Having children is special and certainly give you a reason to live, wonderful news :clangrats:
-
I can only echo what Pip has said... you've come a long way and it sounds like you've got a lot of things sorted out in your head and a big congrats on growing your family!