Depression Forums
General => Fun Stuff => Topic started by: Ezel on October 23, 2011, 10:04:41 PM
-
ARE YOU SURE YOU ARE READY FOR THIS?
The following questions were set in last year's GED examination
These are genuine answers (from 16 year olds)............and they WILL breed.
Q. Name the four seasons
A. Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar
Q. Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink
A. Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists
Q. How is dew formed
A. The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire
Q. What causes the tides in the oceans
A. The tides are a fight between the earth and the moon. All water tends to flow towards the moon, because there is no water on the moon, and nature abhors a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins the fight
Q. What guarantees may a mortgage company insist on
A. If you are buying a house they will insist that you are well endowed
Q. In a democratic society, how important are elections
A. Very important. Sex can only happen when a male gets an election
Q. What are steroids
A. Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs (Shoot yourself now , there is little hope)
Q.. What happens to your body as you age
A. When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental
Q. What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty
A. He says goodbye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery (So true)
Q. Name a major disease associated with cigarettes
A. Premature death
Q. What is artificial insemination
A. When the farmer does it to the bull instead of the cow
Q. How can you delay milk turning sour
A. Keep it in the cow (Simple, but brilliant)
Q. How are the main 20 parts of the body categorised (e.g. The abdomen)
A. The body is consisted into 3 parts - the brainium, the borax and the abdominal cavity. The brainium contains the brain, the borax contains the heart and lungs and the abdominal cavity contains the five bowels: A, E, I,O,U.. (wtf!)
Q. What is the fibula?
A. A small lie
Q. What does 'varicose' mean?
A. Nearby
Q. What is the most common form of birth control
A. Most people prevent contraception by wearing a condominium (That would work)
Q. Give the meaning of the term 'Caesarean section'
A. The caesarean section is a district in Rome
Q. What is a seizure?
A. A Roman Emperor. (Julius Seizure, I came, I saw, I had a fit)
Q. What is a terminal illness
A. When you are sick at the airport. (Irrefutable)
Q. Give an example of a fungus. What is a characteristic feature?
A. Mushrooms. They always grow in damp places and they look like umbrellas
Q. Use the word 'judicious' in a sentence to show you understand its meaning
A. Hands that judicious can be soft as your face. (OMG)
Q. What does the word 'benign' mean?
A. Benign is what you will be after you be eight (brilliant)
Q. What is a turbine?
A. Something an Arab or Shreik wears on his head
-
brilliant, cheered me up on a bit of a down mood today ;D
-
Thanks Ezel !!! Thats funny !! ;D XX
-
where did you get this, I don't think I have ever laughed so much in my life ;D
brilliant thank you
smirfy ;D
-
Very very funny indeed. I once read a student's essay in which Siegfiried Sassoon was referred to as 'Vidal' all the way through. Sweet.
-
I've seen these before somewhere but still great ;D
-
OMG rofl that was soooo funny havnt laughed like that in months.
these were my favs..
Q. Name the four seasons
A. Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar
Q. What is artificial insemination
A. When the farmer does it to the bull instead of the cow
I still cant stop laughing...i need to tell my gp i dont need any more meds i just need a daily dose of this and ill be just fine and dandy.
Quality!!!
-
lmao they are BRILLIANT .. I was watching youtube vids of stupid americans and was pretty surprised just how dumb some are lol check it out
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fJuNgBkloFE (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fJuNgBkloFE)
-
Just about sums Americans up :happy0158: ... I belong to a forums where it's mostly Americans who post and they make me laugh. Sometimes I have to take a deep breath and gently correct them instead of teasing them.
-
Oh really, id better not join then :s duno if I could help myself because they can be so, SO ...... hmm id better not :) silly... for the want of the use of a better word lol