Depression Forums
General => Welcome our 'NEW MEMBERS'!! => Topic started by: HSS1982 on October 22, 2011, 10:02:49 PM
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Hi this may sound daft but how do you relax? I'm anxious almost all the time and have tried a few things but nothing works (for me anyway). Any ideas?
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Hello and welcome to the forum ;D
What kind of things have you already tried to help you with your anxiety?
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Have you tried relaxation techniques? Is there anything you would normally enjoy when you're not anxious?
I'm quite fortunate that music helps me to relax, walking my dogs and swimming.
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Hi Ezel, I listen to music but it only helps for a short period, literally a few minutes. One of my favourite songs is American Pie by Don Mclean, with my favourite line being 'this'll be the day that I die'. Having a hot bath used to help me relax but again only for a short time. Nothing seems to help me relax. Sometimes I feel i'm worrying myself to death.
Nickynoo i've tried yoga, going for long walks and holidays (as well as what i've written above). I was hoping to find someone I could talk to and explain my feelings and emotions (other than CBT) but no one seems interested. I don't mind listening to other peoples problems, wish someone would listen to mine.
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Living with anxiety can be awful, I suffer with anxiety as well as depression, so I can completely understand your frustration with it.
I think sometimes its hard when you speak to people about it all because when you look well people tend to think that you are well. I'm sure talking on here will help, I am completely new to all this, only joined yesterday, but I'm sure everyone on here will be able to help you whether that is support or advice or just to have a good ol' chat when you need it.
There are lots of things that you can try to help relax you holistic therapies like meditation, massage, aromatherapy, acupuncture, reflexology, Rescue remedy is good, as is chamomile tea (drink a cup at least twice a day), nice warm bath with relaxing music (like panpipes or meditation music) and some lavender can help if you have insomnia!! Also if you have a high consumption of caffeine this can bring on the symptoms of anxiety, so its best to avoid it if possible. not saying that everything works for everyone but if you can find just one thing that can help then that is a bonus.
If you are really struggling then it might be a good idea to see your GP as he may be able to prescribe some anti anxiety meds (I cannot comment on how effective they are as never tried them) and also he may be able to refer you to some talking therapy (tho this tends to be CBT which you have already tried).
I hope this has been of some help to you x
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I'm open to all suggestions of help, one (maybe more) is bound to help. I feel talking is the best one but feel i'm too much of a burden on others. I've tried chamomile tea (my sister drinks it quite often). I used to drink herbal teas, mainly peppermint. I should try some of the things you've mentioned but don't have the energy or enthusiasm. I don't know what level of caffeine is excessive but I do drink a cup of coffee a day. I sometimes feel better afterwards.
I'm trying not to take any meds of any sort (apart from vitamin pills). I reckon i'd be better if I knew I wasn't alone. If you don't mind me asking, what caused your anxiety/depression?
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Anxiety is a horrible thing to cope with, I get it too, sometimes I can identify what causes it, for instance I have to make a difficult phone call or go somewhere I know will worry me, sometimes it just appears for no apparent reason :(
All the methods Nickynoo can work for peope, for myself I drink lemon balm tea as I cant stand the taste of chamomile and I use breathing techniques and visualisation with a fair bit of success now I've been practicing for a while. If you arent on any antidepressants at the moment you could try St Johns Wort, but to be honest if the symptoms of depression and anxiety dnt go you really do need to consider going to your GP to get some medication sorted out
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Hi HSS1982,
I cant really pinpoint what triggered my anxiety really, I suppose it all started when my dad walked out on us all and I lost all my confidence in myself (I was 11 when this happened, never spoke to anyone about how I was feeling, didn't really understand what was going on to be honest and I kept all my feeling locked inside away from everyone, I think this is also when I think my depression started too, just rumbling on in the background, I read my school reports from this period and from what they say I went from being a confident child to being very withdrawn and un-confident very quickly).
I seem to be on the edge of anxiety all the time and it takes relatively small things to bring my body into the fight or flight mode. I also recently seem to have developed health anxiety too, I got this when I got diagnosed with depression back in September last year after many years of things going wrong, I was getting alot of the depression symptoms and really didn't understand what was going on, I started the Citalopram that I was prescribed and I got anxious about the side effects I was having (I'm not really one for taking tablets, not even paracetamol for a headache). Then my mum got seriously ill last October with pulmonary embolisms which led to a couple of heart attacks, the consultants are so surprised that she survived as the blood clots in her lungs were so massive, thank god she didn't die, I don't know what I would have done. So now I am always worried when I get weird sensations or feel unwell and think the worst.
To be honest I cant get motivated to actually to take my own advice and do the things that will make me feel better, its not that I dont want to get better, its just that I don't want to be like this in the first place, does that make sense?
Soz for the ramble lol.....do you know what caused/causes your anxiety?
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Yes it does make perfect sense, its one of the fairly typical symptoms of depression. Stress or traumatic life events cause my depression and after about 20 years I think Ive almost got to the stage where I will be able to control it, although my GP has told me that I may be on the medication for the rest of my life - I too hate any type of tablets and try to rely on natural remedies but sometimes it really is necessary to do so.
Basically my advice would be take the medication you've been prescribed and if you are worried even the tiniest bit about any side effects go straight back to the doctor (dont feel you are worrying him/her, thats what we pay them for via our taxes), I would also suggest as much rest as you can get and if possible some counselling as it sounds like talking therapy would be very beneficial.
Hope this helps
Z xx
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Hi nickynoo, sorry for late reply, I went on holiday for a week and forgot about everything else. My anxiety started a few years ago. I dropped out of uni when I was 19 (i'm 29 now) which made me depressed as I had high hopes. I struggled to find a job but eventually found a low paying one (I'd rather work than take benefits). I quit that after a year through boredom. Then struggled to find another one. Tried my luck at finding love but no luck on that front. Its just the constant trying and getting nowhere that caused my anxiety. I've struggled by for 10 years, many times I wonder how much longer I can go on.
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Hello, I am very sorry to hear the trouble you have been having.
I also suffer from anxiety, I don't really no how bad it is, as it has always been there. I took some beta blockers today and yesterday, and it has made me realise just how anxious I normally am.
Are you having come kind of medical support? You could also try meditation....i have been doing it seriously just over a month now, it was hard at first but I am starting to find it easier, and it does help me. Perhaps you could try that?
I have also tried chagiong the way I perceive situations, so instead of viewing things so negatively, I try to look on the good side. It helps as well, but just look through my posts on here and you will see I mess up sometimes.
Take care,
Steve X
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Hi
I saw what you said about feeling like you're a burden. I get that too. sucks huh?
One thing I do, cos I am rubbish at relaxing, is when I feel anxious or I know that my thoughts are going into that down spiral, is to jolt myself, slap my leg or something and tell myself not to go there and to think of something else. It takes a bit of practice and persistance but I've reached the point now where I don't have to physically do anything, just make my mind go somewhere else. It's not permanent and the bad thoughts come back but I get a bit of peace for a short time. I try to think of a show I've been to or a place I like or something like remembering the words of a Monty Python sketch. Something that's totally unrelated to the bad thoughts.
Lots of luck.
you're not a burden, you really aren't.
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Hi Steve, i'm not on any meds, don't really want to take them I don't even take paracetamol for headaches. I've tried yoga briefly. My main problem is lack of concentration. I also don't have much energy or enthusiasm. I suppose i'm most worried about being alone.
Laura, usually whenever I feel anxious (which is pretty much all the time except when i'm asleep) I listen to music, go on the web or eat something, anything to take my mind off anxiety. I don't feel like a burden, just worthless.
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Hi HSS1982. Anxiety is susch a difficult thing to live with, why don't you want to take any meds?
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Hi Lol, I don't take meds as I worry about the side effects. Also I don't want to become addicted to them, I feel if I could talk to others about how i'm feeling it'll help me remain calm.
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OK. Most people find meds have some side effects, the most common of which is relief from symptoms. I hope you find some releif however you can, talking in here can be very helpful and supportive. Suffering from anxiety is very difficult to manage on your own without medical intervention. I hope you find some success and can share this with others for inspiration. :)
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Music is good!
Have you tried stupid games like Tetris or Sudoku or minesweeper (I call it mindsweeper) that you can just get a lost in for a bit?
I know there is a risk of getting too lost in it and wasting hours watching little coloured blocks but it might help you switch off a little bit.
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jogging helps a lot.
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I found that when I get anxious I really need to be busy or I over think everything!
For me its cars or photography. I can go for a walk and take pictures of the countryside or if i want something more 'busy' I go out to my garage and try to fix a problem or simply dismantle an old carb, or gearbox just to see how they work. Then i try to put them back together. They are only old parts and I have plenty so if I cant rebuild them it doesnt matter! It keeps me busy and adds to my knowledge too so that makes me feel a little better about myself. It works for me because I get lost in it and when i do finally stop, things seem a little less bleak than they were. that and im too tired!
I also went through a phase of playing guitar. If you like music this might help if you can stick with it. It only took me a month or so to learn enough chords to play along to a few tunes. IIRC American pie is fairly simple ;)
I hope you can find something similar to help you - but if not, try to open up to the possibility of using meds if you can. They may help.
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Music helps a bit, playing scrabble, connect 4 and food. It might sound daft but sometimes even sending a text message (i'm not a very talkative person) helps. As long as I know i'm not alone. But I am.
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I cant speak for everyone, but I feel far less alone when Im on here. Keeping busy is important when you feel like this I think, so whatever helps you most :)
I hope things feel better for you soon.
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Coming on here helps, its good to know we're not alone. I feel so down today for some reason, usually feel OK after a hot bath.
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I'm struggling with anxiety a lot at present, to the point it's making me physically edgy, only had one panic attack up to now and don't wish for more.
Have a lot of thoughts running through my head most of the time, flit from one thing to another during the day unable to really concentrate on anything at all, rushing about but achieving nothing!
Luckily I am back to work tomorrow on nights, I do 12hr shifts so once home all I want to do is sleep, it's the days off that are the problem!
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hello hss1982
after reading your original post and all the replies i see there are many usefull suggestions and they may help, for me and some of this will sound strange if i have the time on my own i'm married with a little boy and one on the way i will go to my shed and work on my clocks i find if i'm totally focused on something that can help when i'm driving if on my own and i'm getting panicky i find that metal played at ear bleed levels helps calm me strange i know the last and maybe strangest is when i go to bed i listen to tv through an earphone and play an rpg on a ds i know this sounds strange but i have problems sleeping as my thoughts are like a whirlwind at night and this helps me i just wanted to say in a very long and roundabout way try anything and everything as you never know what might work
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sometimes even sending a text message (i'm not a very talkative person) helps.
I HATE talking on the phone. Hate hate hate. I use texts a lot and email quite a bit. But no one I know gets it, they all want to chat on the phone Grrrr
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Hi dlg78, I also have thoughts running through my head, mostly where i'm rich (no harm in dreaming!) or my favourite where i'm prime minister. I work p/t and on weekends babysit my nephews and niece. Sometimes when i'm not with them, I get bored quite quick. I had today (Wednesday Nov 30) off because of the strike and felt tired at 3pm. I don't have many close friends.
Tharidler, I quite like jigsaw puzzles. I'm now thinking of buying an xbox (the shooting games I find are a good way of relieving stress). WHen I was younger I used to break my toys and try putting them back together. Never worked. I like listening to music but not too loudly, years ago I did.
Laura, I also hate talking on the phone, especially if i'm on the bus or train. Sometimes I can't hear what the other person's talking about. Mind you listening to other people's conversations can be interesting.
Feel better after replying to everyone!