Depression Forums
General => Welcome our 'NEW MEMBERS'!! => Topic started by: weenancy on October 21, 2011, 11:02:02 PM
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hi 1st post!!! feeling a bit nervous. i went to the doctors finally this week and was told i was suffering from depression and anxiety. me!!! what i have i got to be depressed about. i am so glad i found this site. i really need to talk to somone who understands where my head is at the moment. i need to know that there will be light at the end of the tunnel so to speak and i won't feel like this forever.
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Hi and welcome weenancy, I hope you'll find as much help and support here as I have :)
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Welcome to the forum weenancy. Depression is such a complex illness but there is always light at the end of the tunnel. Particularly if you seek the proper help and medication available. You are therefore on the right track. Well done! If you feel talking here would be beneficial fire away and we will support you however we can. Don't worry about how things come out, often spillage of internal conflict comes out a bit higgledypiggledy but we will know what you mean! It seems we all share the same head space!!!
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Hello, I am new as well
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Welcome Weenancy, I know you will get kindness on here which is what we all need when we have depression.XXXX ;D
And Welcome Stevie I know this forum has been a great help to me, I love it that even though we are up and down we can still laugh and have a joke!! ;D
Laughter is a lifesaver I think !!!
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Hi weenancy, i'm Harry and also suffer with both depression and anxiety. Tell us how you're feeling, whatever's on your mind we're here to help each other. Take care x
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hi all
thanks. my name is janet. i went to the doctors last wednesday and was shocked when he told me i had classic symptoms of depression and anxiety. i had no idea but knew i could no longer handle feeling the way i did. it had gotten to it that i did not want to leave the house and going to work was the hardest, crying all the time and never feeling happy. i still don't quite get it !! i've got a lovely husband who has been fantastic but if i'm honest doesn't quite get where i'm coming from but does to a degree understand how i am feeling. i have told my brother but feel unable to tell anyone else as i don't want them to feel sorry for me i suppose.
my doctor was fantastic and allowed me to talk about how i was feeling. he has prescribed citalopram. he told me it could make me feel worse at the start. yesterday and this morning i have felt much more anxious and my stomach has churned all day and was also cold all day. i don't know if this is what he means. i didn't ask what he meant. i didn't really ask anything. he has also given me a web site to look at (moodjuice). i looked at depression and couldn't believe that was me written on the page. i still don't quite get it!! what have i got to be depressed about : :( i am finding it very hard to concentrate on anything at all at the moment.
i'm glad i've found this forum as everyone seems really friendly and supportive
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Hi janet
Its great to hear your GP is really supportive, sometimes depression just happens but we dont really understand why :( if you get very worrying symptoms please do go back to your GP and tell him, I am on citralopram and was told that sometimes they do upset your stomach at the very beginning which is why we are started off on a low dose (20mg), if you feel your depression getting very much worse till you see him again do please get an emergency appointment and GO IMMEDIATELY
you might find this site useful http://www.familyhealthguide.co.uk/depressive-illness-the-curse-of-the-strong.html, there is also a book by that name, it really explains everything very clearly and I know when my husband read it he did understand my depressive episodes much better.
Everyone here is lovely and the help Ive had here has been enormous, hopefully you will find the same xx
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Hello Janet. You must never feel that you have to be depression about something. As zaf says this chemical imbalance can happen to any one at any time. The important thing is that you have recognised the need for help, have sought it and are on some treatment. this is a very important first step. Well done.
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Hi Janet
I feel like that too. Agree with Zaf and Lol. I don't quite now why either. It can be very odd.
Thinking of you
Love Di XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
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hiya
thanks for the advice and support from everyone, it's good to know you are all there to talk to.
janet xxx
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hi
feeling very anxious today. can't move myself off the couch to do anything!!!! feeling sorry for myself :( cannot imagine at the moment ever feeling better than this and thats not what i want but cannot get out of the bit!!! whing whing whing, moan moan moan who want to listen to this all the time?
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You can feel better and with time you will, depression is such a frustrating illness with its ups and downs :(
We all need to have a whinge and everyone here understands why xx
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hi zaf
thanks. i know today i am worrying about being off work. my boss has been fantastic and very understanding. i have been signed off for 2 weeks but worry how i will be when i go back. i am worrying about letting people down and whether i can keep the happy face on there so as not to drag anybody else down !!! i don't have a stressfull job but i do put pressure on myself at work!!! there have been a few stressfull times in the last 6 weeks that have just added to how i feel and it is silly things that would not normally bother me.
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Its incredibly difficult not to worry when we have depression but its worry that makes us worse, try not to worry about things too far in the future and take one day at a time - easier said than done I know! Xx
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Hi Weenancy
Just to say I am thinking of you and I understand your feelings.
Hope you feel better soon.
Love Di XXXX
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i will try thanks xx how are you today?
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Hi
I am happier thank you, could be something to do with the family coming to stay Thurs to Sun, inc grandchildren age 4 and 2 Can't wait to se them as we only get to see them 2 or 3 times a year. ;D
XXXX
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hi di
sounds like you're going to have a great time lots of fun. thanks for the chat it really does help xx have a good weekend x
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Thank You XXXXX &*(
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hiya
where do i start!!! today i feel total crap >:( i have had a couple of really good days where i felt almost normal whoopy. it has given me time to think and clear my head alittle. i have read lots of posts on this site and love how supportive everyone is and how you are not frightened to share how you feel. me i still find it hard to get my head round the fact i have depression. i am a very strong person normally, always the one to lean on and am happy to be that but am finding it hard to lean on other people. it's like admitting i've failed in some way. does this amke sense or am i just babbling?
over the last 2 years in my life a lot has happened. mainly family issues. i have a large family but am very close. my aunt died very suddenly in january 2010(she was like my 2nd mum) and understandably everyone was very upset, her2 daughters and 2 sons are like brothers and sisters to me as we lived in each other pockets for years. my mum took it very hard and i had to be there for her whenever and she handled it fantastically well and i know she miises her evry day, as do i but i don,t think i ever cried. ihad to be strong for them not the weak one!
then in august 2010 someone very close was charged with and admitted to doing something so terrible, i cannot post it on here. this was kept very quiet and only a handful of us new about it. my dad was devastated. i could see the terrible effect it was having on both him and my mum. he was a support for the person being charged as his family didn't want to be there. i was there for my dad even though i didn't really want to support the other person. this went on for 3 months and i didn't sleep or eat right the hole time. more for the worry over my dad. i was frightened he wouldn't cope. i didn't tell any body how i felt about this person, how disguted i was and that i wished they would just disappear. i didnt tell my dad how i felt as i feel it would hurt him to much.
in january of this year my neice who was 18 was taken into hospital with swine flue. in the space of 2 hours she was in intensive care and put on a ventilator and her mum n dad(my brother) were told she could die!! my god did that floor everone. again i am the supportive one and although i barely functioned i was there for everyone else. she is a fantastic young lady whom i luv to bitsit was touch and go for the 1st 4 weeks but things turned around for her and she fought her way back. i have to say she is almost back to normal after all this time. when i see how strong she has been to overcome this i bust with pride and wish i could be that strong. this keeps me awake at night and i worry about her all the time.
my aunt who has been cancer free for 5 years has been rediagnosed again just recenlty and again i see how worried my mum n dad and her family are. i have avoided seeing her because i dont want to go in and cry and not be strong but i know i cannot. i feel like a coward. my other aunt has been told that she has asbestosis and may only have 5 years to live. i dont know what to say to anyone and because of how i am feeling i just hide away from them all. not deeling is easier.
in between all that work has been very quiet. i work in retail. it doesnt matter what you do it doesnt get any busier. i know this is just retail at the moment but i suppose i have been worrying how much quieter can it get. my company is doing well but my branch isnt. my boss is very supportive and has told me that i do a great job but it is just the way of the high street. i know i pressurise myself here. there have been a few disagreements between staff over the last 2 months and a couple of other issues here which have just added to how i feel. i could go to work before and just work so hard that i didnt thinks about anything else or how i felt but havent been able to do that either. i feel like such a failure at the moment. like im letting loads of people down.
i cannot concentrate on anything for very long at all at the moment and wonder when i will fell better about myself. i hope i havent babbled to much. i needed to get this all out. i find it hard to admit to how i feel and how much stuff is dragging me down and i cannot let go of some of it.
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I'm not surprised you have depression weenancy, you have been so strong for so many people for so many years that something just had to give eventually. Its strong people that get depression but its very normal for us to to feel otherwise.
Your ADs should kick in before too long, the other thing I would suggest is to rest when your body tells you it needs to without feeling guilty - I wonder if you have been offered counselling of any kind? Very often that works well in conjunction with medication and rest.
xx
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hi zaf
i know how srong a person i am and just want to be abck there. patience is not one of my virtues but i know it is a slow process.
i go back to the doctors this week and he has mentioned trying something else, something interactive. will wait n see. i think councelling would be great and i will ask.
i am so glad i have found this site as i feel safe here explaining how i feel with no judgement. everybody is so supportive of each other and always so positive. i don't feel able yet to support anyone else as i don't have a handle on it myself yet. i love all the positivity.
thanks for the support
janet x
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Janet, sometimes we have to accept that it will take ages for our strenght to come back after depression and sometimes we have to guard against taking on too much at one time or the depression may come back, its a very slow process and I'm not patient either but there are times when you try to rush things you go backward very quickly and unfortunately depression is one of those times.
I found this site a complete godsend, Ive said in the past to people and probably in here too that only people that suffer depression can truly know what it feels like and how it affects us. I'm sure you'll be supporting others at some time but just for now dont worry about it, just work on getting yourself better :)
xx
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thanks. i'm glad for the support xx
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HI Weenancy
Kids went back yesterday, we had a great time, feel better now I am on a higher dose, hoping you get the treatment you need asap.
Thinging of you with love
Di XXXX
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hi di
glad u had a great time with the kids. i've had my brothers dogs for a couple of days. it was great really gets u out n about. back to the doctors this week.
janet xx
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Hi Janet
When do you go to the doctors? I will be thinking of you and hope you get all the help you need.
I find it very hard to concentrate sometimes, when that improves you will start to feel better.
Take Care
Hugs
Di X X
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Hi Weenancy I can relate to a lot of what you have said. I have been through some family crisees and I am always the one people look to for how to handle it and what to do next. People will say out loud 'oh Lol's here now so we'll be ok' and I sometimes just want to shout 'I don't have all the answers!! I would like to breathe a sigh of relief for once too!!'. I wish some one would swoop in and take control instead of me but no one ever does so I have to do it!!!
It would appear a lot of us feel like that on here!
There is no point in me telling you not to still be that person but at least please know that you can come in here and receive at least some of the support you need and deserve. You may not believe us when we tell you not to feel guilty, that you haven't let anyone down and that it's ok not to step up sometimes, but it's nice to hear it. (and deep down you know it's right you just can't follow that advice and we understand that too!!)
Please keep talking and letting it out. You have been through a lot and have done such a wonderful job. It's time to unload all of that pressure now. We will all support you as much as we can.
Take Care. Lol
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hi di
back today. he's great to talk to and happy with how i've been doing. he was really positive and encouraging. off work for another 2 weeks to give the ADS time to kick in. told my mum n dad today also and they have fantastic. also spoke to my sister in law as she has suffered in the past as is no longer on any medication and back to her normal self, so its good to have someone close who gets it!!! here has also been a godsend as i feel quite happy to share and listen to everyone elses opinions and advice. janetxxx
lol thanks it is good to speak to someone who understands where i am coming from. thanks for the support. i thinks everyone on here is fantastic and am so glad i' here
janet xxx
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Janet- great news ! Glad things are looking up.
Sounds like you are getting the help you need, so glad your doctor is understanding that is brilliant, and that you know someone who has come through it.
Hugs
Di X X &*(
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hi di
i have to start CBT via the internet, doctor thinks this will help. i should start in a couple of weeks. i'll try anything
love janetx
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Yes, that will be interesting to see how you get on, let us know. I didn't know you could do it over the internet!
LOVE
dI x x
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I didnt either
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Hi, I'm new today. I'm not sure I'm depressed but I think I am. I haven't been to the doctors yet because I can't pluck up the courage to go and I don't feel stupid. I've always had bad experiences with doctors, they always seem to say there is nothing wrong with me really (other things, not depression related). However I have other problems going on, I can't sleep at night. I can lie in bed for hours feeling tired but not being able to drop off and everything seems to run through my head. I've also been experiencing a lot of headaches/migraines recently, almost daily.
I'm really shy and not really sure what I'm doing on here, just looking for people to talk to and get stuff of my chest.
Thanks.
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.>,
I'm not sure if your symptoms are depression but its possibly stress of some kind.
Everyone here is lovely and friendly and if they can help they will :)
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hi quietgirl
welcome :) you'll find everyone her very friendly. share as much or as liitle as you like.
take care
janet x
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hi zaf n di
here's the link the doctor gave me to look up CBT
www.nhs.uk/conditions/cognitive-behavioural-therapy. look under the how it works tab re computerised CBT
janet xx
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Thanks janet, I'll have a good read later :)
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hi zaf n di
here's the link the doctor gave me to look up CBT
www.nhs.uk/conditions/cognitive-behavioural-therapy. look under the how it works tab re computerised CBT
janet xx
Thank you, it looks really helpful and interesting. Sounds like it will be very helpful for you and it is a good idea -over the internet. Let us know how you get on
With Love
Di XX