Depression Forums
Depression Related Forums => Depression Central => Topic started by: angel3077 on October 01, 2011, 10:51:59 AM
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Does anyone else get asked this question and feel really bad when
you don't have an answer?
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Prolonged stress makes me depressed, losing my dad has made my mum depressed, there must be a lot of other reasons but I can only tell you about my personal experience
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My point is sometimes you don't have the answer so it's hard to answer someone when they ask that. To other peoples perception you have nothing to be depressed about so how can you answer that question. Sure life events can make you depressed but sometimes you just are without something traumatic happening to you and people don't seem to understand that.
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Clinical depression is an imbalance of chemicals in your brain, although its often triggered by stress or grief it can occur for no obvious reason angel, in a way its similar to someone who becomes diabetic because their body isnt producing as much insulin as it should, it might be worth reading this:
http://www.familyhealthguide.co.uk/depressive-illness-the-curse-of-the-strong.html
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Hi Angel,
How are you ?
I think I became depressed because I had a lot of things to deal with over a period of years and couldn't cope. Some things are solved, some are ongoing and some stress is new. I feel numb and my brain wooly sometimes and I think that is because my mind can't take the stress so I just go round like a zombie !! But sometimes I am angry because I can't cope or I am very on edge and anything can set me off. Sometimes I don't want to get up, even though I do work, sometimes I can hardly make myself do anything and it is such an effort. I take Co codamol for a back problem, now the doctor says my liver isn't quite right so I have to have it checked again in a month. Apparently that can cause liver problems. I am now on 40 Citalopram since last week, was on 30.
After saying all that I can get very down with no trigger at all.
It is all very confusing but I have had very good insight on here, wish I had the answer *()
Nice to hear from others though and to chat on here, it helps a lot.
Take Care XX
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Hi Angel - its one of those elusive questions with no definitive answer.... I didn't have any traumatic experience or anything that I can pinpoint as the start of my depression, probably a mixture of my personality, my perfectionism and my not wanting to let anyone down - coupled with a few destructive people in my life at the time just caused my mind to 'snap' it literally could not carry on as it was, so it was my bodys way of making me stop - because if nothing drastic happened then I would just carry on...
I can't explain why I still get 'bad day' or bad times.... but I guess if we could then we would have the answer and we could fix it and get on with our lives, couldnt we?
People have no idea how thier questions can be so hurtful? Why are you depressed? I don't know.... why are you so nosy? :P (Not you Angel, the person that asks the question!) I went up to see my parents in Cheltenham a couple of months back and a friend of the family was there and she said 'Oh Naomi, lovely to see you - are you better now?' Like it was the flu.... what do you say to a question like that??
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mines was just life in general losing my gran at a delicate age (I was a very mature 8yr old)
Coped with a depressed partner and gave birth got PND and everything else after that seemed to have merged into greys
No one particular thing, although the death of an aunt just before xmas 2003 was the final straw and I had a total meltdown then
but not because of losing my aunt just everything previous and then that, it was too much for me to cope with.
I now strongly advise anyone caring for someone with depression always has someone to turn to and vent or just to spill out your emotions,
I never done this and I am most regretful about that as I honestly believe if I had been able to get some sort of support I wouldnt be here now.
Not that I blame my partner, not at all. But just always try and remind people to use the support services available to help take some of the loads from you.
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at least i know what caused mine, the part of the brain that controls the chemicals in my brain may possibly be damaged due to a car accident. there is a very small possibility that it isnt damaged though
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Even if its not damaged a car accident is enough to bring on depression and other problems, I do wish I could help more, sometimes I feel quite a fraud being in here as my depression isnt nearly as bad as most of you...
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Zaf - you're not a fraud.
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yeah i know it is.
you do more than enough for us and the degree of depression means nothing, were all ill and your not a fraud.
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Thanks guys :)
This place is a lifeline for me when I'm really down with everyone's help and encouragement, its nice to be able to help others when I can too
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YES - Thanks Zaf
XX
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Depina - had a better day today thanks hope you have had a good day too. Yes it is confusing and its confusing for family members etc to understand which causes me more anxiety. But it def helps to talk on here. Wish I had done it the other times I had depression.
Munch - we are coming from the same page! yes I have had that question too and I feel people find it hard to understand when I have a relapse. They look at you like "i thought you were over that. Why has it come back?"
Zaf- I question my depression all the time. I think I am a fraud and when I am too tired to do things I am just lazy. I think its partly due to my parents perception of depression. They are better now, but they used to think that everyone gets depressed and you should just get on with it. I ignored my depression for ages as I said in another post and didn't get it treated.
Thanks for your comments everyone. Love and hugs
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Hi Angel
Thats what I used to think = this can't just be laziness and it isn't, when I have a good day can do all sorts of things, and another day just completely different, my mind is just thinking and thinking etc and I can't shut off. I have to lie down and try and relax, sometimes I feel anxious for no reason and can't concentrate. Doesn't seem to be a reason why one day is better than another.
Look after yourself
Love D XX
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Hi dep, yes it changes greatly from one day to the next although these days it's more bad days than good. I seem to have to force myself to do anything and I am sleeping during the day. I have to go to bed about half ten not just because I feel tired but I have had enough of coping with life that day and have to rest. Dunno if that sounds wierd.
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Weird - NO JUST LIKE ME ! :)
XX
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Hi dep, yes it changes greatly from one day to the next although these days it's more bad days than good. I seem to have to force myself to do anything and I am sleeping during the day. I have to go to bed about half ten not just because I feel tired but I have had enough of coping with life that day and have to rest. Dunno if that sounds wierd.
Imcurrently sleeping most of the day but not well at night. I find being in bed means I can hide from the world.
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I understand that
XX &*(
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I am glad other people feel the same. Think its nearly time to hide it's way past half ten. I can never spell weird
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Hi,
Firstly, Zaf, you're not a fraud. From the posts that I've read on here even if i haven't necessarily contributed to you are extermely insightful. A lot of things you have said have helped me. So; you're certainly NOT a fraud.
I hate it when people ask why I'm depressed, or what I've got to be depressed about. My step mother doesn't believe that there is actually anything wrong with me at all - the fact that I take 2 different AD's is totally wrong, and I shouldn't be on them. She doesn't have any medical experience; though becuse her son is schizophrenic she has experience of our local mental health services.
It's an inconsiderate question for anyone to ask. Even if they don't suffer from, or understand depression (and let's face it, generally unless you suffer from it, or have lived with someone who does peope don't understand depression) it's just an inconsiderate question to ask. It's like asking someone why they are so ugly, fat or whatever. People would never dream of asking questions like that, yet most consider it perfectly acceptable to ask someone why they suffer from depression, or what have they got to be depressed about. This place is a life line. We all support and understand each other.
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Thanks scaredycat :)
If it helps people who I think will understand I explain that its a chemical imbalance in the brain that causes the symptoms, for those that wont I dont tell them that I'm depressed but being treated for exhaustion then I dont have to face awkward questions.
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Its like I feel guilty for being depressed, but its not our fault we feel like this, people who are 'ok' just don't understand, maybe because they can't see it- like a broken arm or something.
Hi Cornish, I love your sense of humour ! I mean this in a nice way, it brightens me up-thanks !! ;D
D XX
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What have you got to be depressed about?
We all have stress in our lives, I mean I have to pay my mortgage, feed the kids, pay the bills, make ends meet etc?
Huh depressed, tell me about it, i felt like &$%+e last week myself.
you should get out more, come for a pint sometime.
My relatives suffered from depression too, ended up in All saints asylum.
these are just some of the comments I have had recently from good intention folk.
Why am I depressed? I wish I really knew, I have so many reasons why I could be but are they really the reasons? I dont yet know.
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Hi Pete
Know what you mean about not knowing the reason. Today I have no idea why I feel like I do today, forgetful, wanting to sleep and fed up, can't think straight. HELP !! >:(
I suppose they are trying to help in their own way ?
Take Care
XX
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The problem is that depression is known or understood by most as "feeling down". As everyone has the natural emotions of feeling sad at times in their life people don't really see how we suffer. When they say look on the bright side they don't really see that sometimes during a depressive episode there is no bright side, there is no light at the end of the tunnel. This is what in my eyes seperates being down from being depressed.
They also fail to see that most people who suffer from depressive illness are strong proud people so if the see us outside smiling they think oh they're ok now. They don't see in my case the fear or real me behind that smile. I at times am embarrassed even ashamed by how I am and can't allow others to see my weakness. The responsibilities I have had in the past and in differing ways now mean if I showed just how vulnerable I am publically it would, to me anyway be the end. Hence my mask analogy and now not going out as I try and live without the mask to face the issues in order to beat them.
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That really says everything Pete, only people that have suffered from depression can really understand what its like.
You will beat it, it takes time but its definitely possible and ujst recently you really seem to be be making progress :)
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I have such a large amount of mood changes throughout the day zaf its silly but I do like to know what's happening and researching my symptoms has made me more aware and thus more accepting and understanding of what's happening. This is the first step anyway lol
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Its not uncommon Pete, its a good first step :)
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What have you got to be depressed about?
We all have stress in our lives, I mean I have to pay my mortgage, feed the kids, pay the bills, make ends meet etc?
Huh depressed, tell me about it, i felt like &$%+e last week myself.
you should get out more, come for a pint sometime.
My relatives suffered from depression too, ended up in All saints asylum.
these are just some of the comments I have had recently from good intention folk.
Why am I depressed? I wish I really knew, I have so many reasons why I could be but are they really the reasons? I dont yet know.
i get crap like that on almost a daily basis from 2 insensitive assholes at work, ive been getting revenge in my own evil way, did a bit of work in a cheese factory and got some whey powder and ive been mixing that with one of there powdered milk, it was making his coffee a bit lumpy n smelt weird but ive stopped now though as he now has a slight weight and cholesterol problem ooops, i do feel a bit guilty about it and really shouldn't have done it.
oh and i was going though a stage where i believed i was karma and had to punish the evil, i think ive said before about voices but its bloody hard to ignore what there telling you constantly :(
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Hi Cornish
Sorry I had to laugh, if only they knew !Ha Ha ;)
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Hi Pete
I find it hard to keep up the pretence, a friend asked me if I was ok last night as I must have been leaning on my hand looking glum, sometimes I haven't the strength to pretend I feel ok,I do force a smile. ;D
Hope things keep improving
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When I was younger my Aunt said to my Mum "She's 13, what does she have to be depressed about?!" and her suggestion was to not let me go horse riding as that would stop it all. Since then I've refused to justify my depression when people act like that. Depression is not something we choose to have, it doesn't need a great feature film story of explanation. It takes enough bravery and strength to admit to ourselves that we have it sometimes, there's no need to try and justify it to anybody else &*(
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Hi Angelina
That is SO true &*(
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