Depression Forums
General => Welcome our 'NEW MEMBERS'!! => Topic started by: HSS1982 on August 06, 2011, 11:27:44 PM
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Hi i'm Harry, 29 and been depressed for around 10 years. I'm not on any medication, haven't even been to my GP. I only realised I was depressed after I read about it in the paper. I don't have seem to have any energy to do anything, get irritated quite easily (although I hide it well). Just looking to talk to others and help each other out. That's about it for now...
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hi and welcome, first of all id like to say that going to your gp as soon as you can would be a good idea and im sure most other people on here will recomend the same.
there are plenty of us here to talk to and we will happily help you as much as we can
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Hi Harry, I'm going to say the same as cornish, please do try to see your GP, its not always an easy thing to do but very necessary to take the first steps to beat the illness.
Everyone here knows what its like and you'll get lots of support and help :)
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Hi Harry - as Cornish and Zaf have both said, your doctor really is your main port of call. The first appointment can be terrifying, but depression is something that even with the best will in the world, you would struggle to fight on your own.
We're all here to listen and support were we can :) Take care x
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Thanks for the replies folks, there's a clear pattern in them. Sorry for taking so long so replying, I went off on holiday and forgot to reply before I left.
I suppose what I really want (need?) is someone to talk to. I've never been one to talk about my problems feelings and emotions. I've always kept them bottled up. I've emailed The Samaritans before in the past which helped, if only a little. I feel so empty on the inside.
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Welcome Harry
I tried to cope on my own for ages,agree with others on here, good idea to get help
Take Care
D XX
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Hi Harry
Start talking, what ever you can get out. Even if it doesn't seem to make much sense. Break the ice and tell us something and you will feel the benefit. We have all experienced negative feelings that we can't articulate so we'll know what you mean! Do you know if there is a reason for your deression? a time you can track it back to starting? or simply teel us how your internal emptiness feels.
Please see your GP and start to just think about talking to a professional BACP registered counsellor
Lol
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Hi, my depression started when I was around 19. I'd started uni but struggled to make new friends. I nearly always feel I don't fit in for some reason. Almost anything I do ends in failure which led to me being more anxious/nervous. I've not got much self confidence and self esteem is quite low. Got so many thoughts in my head right now, as I usually do.
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It really helps to let it out when you can, the great thing about his forum is that veryone understands what its like, wont judge and will help if they can :)
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Starting uni is a major change and you tend to have to do it on your own as opposed to going up a school where all your class mates might follow. Fitting in then becomes a personal challenge and if you don't have confidence in yourself that's terrifying! Did you have friends at school? Did you move city to go to uni? Were you confident when you left school and it was the uni bit that knocked it?
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Hi Harry,
Everything you say sounds so familiar. It is very hard,especially new challanges.
I am not self confident and things just seem to go wrong, then I get angry !
I know there are courses to build up your self esteem.Maybe you could look at that?
Getting some help is a good idea
Keep hopeful
Take Care
D XX
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So many replies I don't know where to start. I'm one of those people who never get what they want. I've always had to settle for second (third sometimes) best. I didn't do that well at school, I could've if i'd put more effort in but didn't see the point. Did about average at college and at uni it all went wrong. I've never had much luck with relationships either. Its simply a case of 'I know I won't get what I want so I won't bother trying'.
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Harry
Everything you're are writing sounds familiar. I understand why new challanges are hard. I'm about to go to study at uni and I'm dreading it but I'm so glad this site is here. Everyone here is really nice and helpful. I'm one of those people who never got what they wanted either but I don't believe that's a trigger to my depression, though it might well be for you. Not getting what I wanted has, I think, always been due to the fact I have such high expectations of myself, mostly due to pressures applied by my parents ect.
I was confident but then I got depressed and now I'm not. Do you think that your low self esteem is due to depression? I've felt awful since I've been unwell, I hate my image. I'm at the stage where I can't even look at myself in the mirror anymore.
But this is about you.
Welcome to the site. I hope you find the solace that I have been finding here.
Take care. xxx
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Hi Gemma, Hi Harry,
I think that depression does have an effect on self esteem, I dwell on and remember the things I don't get right, like a bad work experience,etc. I was bullied at school and took all this name calling and stuff to heart "£" while some kids just got over it and got on with their lives as if nothing had happened. />. I wish I wasn't so sensitive. We should remember the good things we do and the things we get right.
You both have done a lot right to get to university. WELL DONE YOU !!
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PS Whoops !!
I hadn't finished and pressed post :o
Anyway you are both obviously clever - so good for you. />.
XX
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Hi Depina, sadly i'm not that clever as I had to drop out. Its good to know i'm not alone, all the advice helps. Any tips on how to relax? I get stressed quite easily, always feel tense and nervous. Hugs and cuddles help but as i'm not good looking, most women don't want to give me any.
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I do exercise if I can muster up the energy and enthusiasm for it, then when I'm pooped have a hot bath (bit like a hug) with some aromatherapy in it, then throw on a relaxation CD or watch my favourite comedy with something to eat and (hopefully) fall asleep. I try to just fall asleep whilst I'm watching things rather than go to bed because I know if I get in I'll just lie awake with my thoughts. but I understand this is not the advice given to most people - bedroom should be for sleeping and if you're lying awake you should get up for a while, leave the room, then go back to bed and retry etc etc. this is supposed to train the brain into associating your bed with sleep. Doesn't work for me though. Try leaving a window open all day (if it's safe to do so) to oxygenate the room for bedtime - this is supposed to aid sleep also.
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I find a long luxurious bath helps me too, I ought to walk but somehow dont seem to find the time, I also find getting to sleep much easier if I'm watching something on TV for some reason. Hop or lavender pillows are supposed to help but I'm allergic to lavender!
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The hot bath seems to do the trick but only for as long as i'm in the bath, after that i'm back to being a nervous wreck. I should try and so some exercise but never have the energy or enthusiasm. Talking helps but I can't find a good listener. Maybe i'm destined to be depressed for life
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Never think that. You can talk here and we will listen and even advise if we are able. Depression IS a temporary state. People DO recover. Even when they think they're not going to. We can do this. If you respond to heat have you tried a heat pad or hot water bottle in bed? Heat helps muscles to relax and if you focus on the feeling of the muscle relaxing (say if you place it on your neck/shoulders) it should in turn help you to relax as a whole. Worth a try? Also try to add somthing to your bath experience that you can then take to bed with you ie if you use an aromatherapy oil in your bath, could you also use it in an oil burner in your bedroom? That way you could have a bath before bed, get all relaxed focusing on the common thing, then get out and into bed, but with the same reminder of that relaxation happening in your bedroom you can sort of 'take the relaxation with you'? Could that work? could be a meditation CD? Could be gentle music? could be another smell?
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Thank you Depina! It means a lot to me! :D
I 100% agree Lol! Depression isn't forever. I know it feels that way, I feel that way but I know deep down it isn't. People get better all the time.
I find trying to relax really difficult but a hot bath is always good. Also, hot drinks are good too. Not coffee or tea but maybe hot chocolate or hot ribena? Also, I was told to try tensing all the muscles in my body and relaxing them one by one by someone on this site (Sorry! My memory is awful due to lack of concentration!) and it really does work. Try baby powder that smells of lavender or a plug in scent that smells of lavender. Very relaxing. xx
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Oh and also you are definately not stupid for dropping out of university! I can see myself doing that within the next few weeks myself. You shouldn't feel stupid you have an actual illness and I'm sure when you're better you can get back to it.
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Hi Lol, I've never tried aromatherapy or any of those oils. I usually find listening to music helps but as usual its only a temporary thing. I'm always thinking and imagining about a different me, one who's confident, enthusiastic and rich - the exact opposite of me basically. Wish I had a better group of friends as well.
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I'm sorry things sound difficult for you at the moment. When you are suffering you feel like you can't do anything about the things that you know are wrong and that is even more frustrating. Sometimes we feel like we don't like ourselves. What don't you like about your friends and what qualities would you prefer if you could build a new set of friends?
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The warm baths are a good idea, and I seem to use a hot water bottle a lot too, to make my back muscles relax, it is a comfort somehow.
No HSS you are definately not stupid to GET to uni - I failed my 11 plus !!
Hi Gemma,
hope you are good today, do you like reading? Sometimes that takes your mind off things-that is if you can concentrate- I can't sometimes
Love D XX
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Hi Depina, I tried the hot water bottle a few months ago (my dad needed it actually, sorry dad!) but I used freshly boiled water and I scolded myself slightly. I quite like books, but one's with pictures rather than novels (I don't have a long enough attention span). I quite like jigsaw puzzles and scrabble, something where you use your brain.
Lol, as for my friends, its usually me that has to call/text them. Also most of them have kids so they don't have much time for anything else. I would like to have more female friends, women are more understanding, comforting and supportive which is what you need when things don't go your way.
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Hi
Yes I really like Scrabble, don't play much unless my son and wife is here as they love playing it. I tend to like word games.
It is like that with friends sometimes, I feel like I am contacting them all the time. Kids do take up a lot of time, don't hear a lot from my son with kids. very busy!!
We care on here so look after yourself
HUGS ^&^
Di XX
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Harry a really good way to meet new friends is via a social group called city socialising. Ever heard of it? google <your city> city socialising and see if your city has one. They organise events to turn up to, have a few drinks and chat. You meet some really interesting people! You don't have to be confident to go - as some people there go with quite little confidence and find it boosts their confidence to meet such friendly people! Of course you have to battle with your own confidence first to go to the first one! Have a look though, it's a really good idea! And safe!
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Hi Lol, I signed up to a similar thing called Meetup. You list your hobbies/interests and they send you emails about events in your area or nearby. Most of the emails i'm sent have nothing to do with what I originally signed up for (over 40s meetup for example!). I'm not a really sociable person, don't like big groups. I'm also rather quiet, if i'm having a conversation I don't usually know what to say or talk about so end up asking questions mostly. I guess what I really need is love.