Depression Forums
Depression Related Forums => Depression Central => Topic started by: earthangel on April 02, 2011, 01:40:57 AM
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Hi all. Last two weeks have been losing sleep, feeling really low and no energy. Not able to get things done, let alone look after myself. My mind is confused and negative at the moment so this may not make sense.
My husband works full-time so I get all panicky - can't answer the door or phone. I feel safer at home with my home comforts. I am very frightened with palpitations, panic attacks and just lost. What will happen to me? I just wanna be happy always with no worries ever, but I know that's not living in the real world. I just become so weak, like someone should put me out of my misery. It always feels like I'm stuck in this black void forever.
I feel sorry for my husband who doesn't need this; he deserves more.
The CPN I saw just says I have to be patient but it isn't that simple, and I have to wait for an appointment to see a Psych. Another new doc to get used to. If only they could read my mind then they could really help me. 22 years of depression and still no real success.
Life seems such a long time, as I won't give in to suicide or any anger! Why do the good always suffer? Is Peace too much to ask for?
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Hi earthangel,
long term depression is horrible; I was depressed off and on for about 30 years so I understand your feeling of being stuck with it forever. The good news is that you can beat it, although it can be a difficult process. Doctors can help but they can't wave a magic wand and as you say, they can't read your mind, so you are the one who really needs to be responsible for your recovery. I think it's important to remember that you can't do it all at once; when you've been depressed for years it can take a long time to get rid of it, so think in terms of tiny improvements. You say you can't get things done and you can't look after yourself; how about giving yourself one thing to do every day for yourself and one thing for looking after your home, they can be really simple things like doing a bit of ironing, washing your hair, for example. You may have to force yourself to do them, but do them, and then congratulate yourself for doing them, this may also be hard but try to do it anyway. Keep doing this and keep focussed on what you have achieved, and it will get easier. Also, try to find something you enjoy doing and allow yourself a little enjoyment every day too. Things like this may not get rid of your depression but they can help you to feel a bit better about yourself and that is a good start.
All the best, bel
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Bel,
Thanks for the advice which is what I need (and a kick up my backside). You took some time to answer and that really helps when I feel alone.
Sleep deprivation has left me wanting to give in to the depression, and am trying to find the courage to do even small things each day. The achievement is short lived before black thoughts cloud me again.
I can't do it on my own when I'm so low, so I've got to wait it out. I'm lost in thought, and still looking for answers!
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Hello there,
I'm really pleased to read your post and response. You sound like you know you have these problems, but you're a fighter. I don't believe in giving up either. You have to have hope and believe that it can get better. Then when you've got that far you have to believe that it will get better.
We're all people, we're all special in our own way and we don't deserve to feel this way but we do. Keep smiling, look at the good in the world.
It was a beautiful weekend around here.
G