Depression Forums
Depression Related Forums => Depression Central => Topic started by: kutuup on August 11, 2013, 02:35:49 AM
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So I've been getting myself VERY frustrated lately because I just can't seem to find decent friends. I'm going to sound pretty cruel in this "rant", but bear in mind the things I think about these people are as a result of knowing them, and not just generalisations about people with certain characteristics. This is my opinion of these people and them alone, I wouldn't ever make an assumption about a person based on anything about them, I suppose the things I'm going to rant about regarding these people are things that I find annoying because of their personality as a whole, not simply because they have those characteristics.
So, I grew up in a very loving family, I'm lucky for that, I get along with my siblings great and me and my parents have a superbly healthy relationship. All is great there. It's the kind of friends I attracted in my early years that became the initial problem. I was a loner through most of primary school. I pretty much kept to myself and was very much an introvert. Then certain people walked into my life. People who were apparently "friends" who would basically treat me as a sidekick and tell me constantly that my hair or whatever wasn't "cool". I spent years thinking these people were friends. I just thought that's what friends were like. Then I kind of sank into their social circle. That's when things got worse. I got invited to parties and stuff and thought I was in with the crowd, but I wasn't. All I can really remember about those years was one guy constantly keeping me at his side because I was the only person who would tolerate how weird he was, but he was accepted in the group because he was skinny and was in a band, and the rest of the group kind of keeping me around because I could buy cigarettes and stuff because I was very tall. I think the first incident when I thought "these people treat me like crap" was at a party when I was about 15. I got massively underage drunk and (I had a lip piercing) squirted some water out of the piercing hole as a party trick (that I was ASKED to do no less). So being drunk off my ass, I squirted some water on some people. People who were your friends would find that funny at a party at 15 right? Well, they did actually. But I was then unceremoniously kicked out of the party by that same weird guy who was meant to be my "best friend" because I had "pissed off a lot of people". he told me to wait in the garden until he let me back in. I just thought "You know what? f*** this" and walked home and went to bed. I got a call from him the next day asking why I "ditched him".
That was when I started noticing that people treated me like crap.
Fast forward to now. Nothing much has changed. I'm 24, I have a degree and a full time job, yet I'm still attracting people who could generously be called assholes. The most recent episode started when I was asked by this guy I had worked with in my last retail job to fill in for him on some podcast. I agreed to do it as a favour and it went pretty well. Now, before I go any further, this is a podcast that gets a total of 25 listeners a week. Suddenly I somehow became a regular on this podcast. Now today I've been "put on hiatus" after the 25th one I took part in because I'm "not committed enough". This is where the rage is going to start, just to give you a heads up. I do this podcast for free, with people I frankly don't like! They seem so mystified as to why I'm not committed to it! The freaking thing gets under 50 listeners a week. The two guys I do it with I can barely stand. One is an overweight pothead who constantly churns out GOD AWFUL trance music with some guy who he constantly has over with half a head full of teeth who can barely form a sentence due to being constantly stoned. He seems to have decided to find this guy's demeanour somehow charming, am I supposed to find it endearing somehow? No, he's a freaking creeper! What's even scarier is he has a kid. Considering he has no partner and is unemployed, I don't even want to imagine what that whole set up is like. The other guy on the podcast is borderline obease and as dense as an articulated lorry, yet somehow has a vet with low self esteem as a fiance whom he treats like crap. On top of that he never lifts a finger around the house and it looks like crap as a result. His fiance is literally CRAZY clever, and works her ass off, yet he can't even be assed to do the dishes and bitches at her when she complains that he didn't do them while she was at work. Yet this guy EXPECTS everyone to like him for some reason, like the world owes it to him to "respect" him.
I'm frankly glad I got "put on hiatus" from doing this trainwreck of a podcast.
Why do I constantly find myself surrounded by these people??? Sure, I have a couple of friends I get on really well with, but they live miles away and I hardly ever get to see them, and when I do, I'm always in a bad mood because the only people I can find near me are wastes of space!
I just want normal friends who do normal things! Is that so much to ask!?
I think a lot of my problems come from the sort of company I seem to attract. I have no self esteem as a result and find myself constantly frustrated because I'm surrounded by assholes!
How do I get rid of these people???
PS. I say "ass" instead of "arse" because I'm Irish and grew up around a largely Irish family :P
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ive had the same frustrations at times in my life and have had times where people have taken advantage of my nice nature.... Ive moved around a lot in my life so am no stranger to meeting people. I came to the conclusion unfortunately that the reason I seem to find so many assholes is because a lot of them exist. people have hidden agenda's and its true that nice decent people are few and far between. they are out there though its just a matter of recognising them and forging friendships with the right people not the wrong ones.
like you I have good decent friends but rarely see them due to distance but every once in a while I go see them and im grateful to at least know those people. there good people. every so often you meet a decent person and cant maintain a friendship because they may not have room for you in their life if they are married with kids for example. that's okay though, you can still have some faith that its possible to meet decent people.
I don't have anything to do with people really if they take me for granted or belittle me in any way!
im trying to get involved in things in my community in the hope of meeting some decent people that I can create a new circle of friends with.
never know there could be a gathering one day for people on here who would meet!