Depression Forums
General => The Lounge => Topic started by: craig84 on July 18, 2013, 01:25:04 PM
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one of which ive noticed is looking into depression. reading blogs or watching peoples stories on youtube, watching documentaries from the bbc....
do you do this? is there anything you notice you do as a way of coping ?
so im just coming to terms with seeing my depression as an actual illness, not a short term state of mind that will get better and i'll live happily ever after... im coming to the stage that I have to live with this. ive noticed the circles ive been going in and they vary from highs of succeeding with work whatever it may be, and having independence, social life, fun, the "normal life" ... compared to the lows of suicidal thoughts, no selfesteem, no job, no home to call my own, no social life because I lock myself away, no.... anything... just an existence of misery. now ive noticed these circles and im learning that this is something I have to live with through the good and bad... so this post I guess is me building what I need to get my depression under some control cos I don't want it to beat me anymore... !!
im not used to writing in bogs and my posts will be completely random and probably go off subject but I do have a lot of questions and im here because I want to find more friends who suffer from depression because ive shut everyone out who judges or doesn't understand what I go through
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I keep busy which keeps my mind occupied. It doesn't stop bad days completely as all it takes is somebody making a comment that will be triggering. I volunteer at church with cleaning and lunch club plus any other time I am asked to help out. We have some websites to maintain so I can usually find something to do, blogging, writing and reading helps.
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im still finding out my triggers, usually heartache of somesort, from family judging and misunderstanding me to me trusting in girls who aren't right for me. for various reasons.
i do keep busy but not nearly enough, and that's because im low and getting out of that low period is whats hard lol im so frustrated with being depressed everything is up and down in my mind i do feel like its making me crazy. i am finding this site helpful though.. i got rid of my facebook so this is my new goto site now :)
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Yes I've had that problem with family judging but then the emotional abuse I suffered from my mum didn't help. I went through a stage where I didn't have contact with my family after me snapping after an argument with my sister. My sister and I didn't talk for 12 years and what finally broke the ice was my mum dying in 2011. It gave me an opportunity, after the funeral, to right a letter and tell her a load of stuff about me that she didn't know such as being a long term suffer of depression.
I don't go on Facebook much these days. When I do it's mainly to catch up on what friends are doing.
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I don't go on fb at all anymore I deleted it, done my head in seeing everyone getting on while im stuck in depression lol
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The first two years were the hardest for me when I was diagnosed as being depressed. I've actually sort of been trying to write a blog (using Word), think I am trying to rationalise how I felt back then. And put some perspective on how I was, and where I am now in my life.
My coping techniques then were atrocious, to say the least. The way I tried to block out how I felt was to just get absolutely trashed. These days I am more positive and have a much better support network than I did then. These days there are friends in my life who I not only feel comfortable in talking too, but no matter how bad I feel will never judge me. When really low I have a set of friends who insist on me coming round, sometimes for a 'place of safety'.
Going for a run always used to help me in the early days - although it can be a struggle to get up, never mind arduous exercise. But, healthy eating and living definitely help. Keeping active and busy is another way to help. For me to say that when I'm pretty much 'stable' at the minute is easy to say - but when I have a 'wobble' I try to do as previous.
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its really important to have the right support network when trying to get better, sometimes being dragged out of your comfort zone can be just that little push we need. its important for that support network to be able to read how you are coping and be there for you the best they can as well!
I have very little support apart from on here which im grateful for!
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I'm glad I have the friends that I have now. They know enough to be supportive without being pushy or judgmental and if I want to talk they listen. One came up to me on Sunday to let me know she had been thinking of me on Saturday. It was my son's birthday and I had put a comment on Facebook to which she had added a comment. She knows enough of the situation to know that I appreciate her kindness.
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I always remind myself that it's a tempoary situation. Some of my issues stem back to my very early years and I can have problems around that - especiually in relationships. Which in turn can cause me massive amounts of stress. For me stress is very bad and sometimes that's what I can't cope with.
Since starting university there have been lots or stressors - which aren't university based. Well, mostly not. I've ended up in situations I found myself in - but on the 'other' side. Which was a great adjustment at first.
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Like you Craig I don't have a network to depend on who will be there or just listen to me.......I came here to find people to talk to who are in the same or similar situation regarding their depression & the issues that go with it.
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yeah that's the main reason I joined too but am finding writing a journal and reading everyone else's experiences helps a lot.
even with people who claim to want to listen, when you say something the topic swiftly moves back to them and then your overlooked.
or you speak to them and they have no idea how to react, how to support you..
issues that go with it are being judged, misunderstood, labelled, criticized, blamed, neglected... im sure theres more
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pleasure to have you here with us Cat crazy I hope you find it useful. look forward to reading your future posts and welcome to the forums!! :happy0158:
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Afternoon everyone
First of all I think finding people who are empathic and relate and more importantly, understand how you feel and think the way that you do. That's important.
I remember being at college at 19 and not being able to cope with the social aspects of being at college. In my late teens i didn't do a great deal as i really did not like school,
and was never what you call a straight A student.
so i meandered for 2 years wondering what to do next. It took me til the age of 26/27 to actually get a job. That time was very tough for me mentally and emotionally.
At 28 i got a job and left actually in April of this year. Since then I have struggled to find another job. My bedroom is my sanctuary from the rest of the world.
Why am I like this? I guess I just am.
Good diet, exercise, going out , hanging out with friends and being supported throughout it all help, but the low moods demotivate and make u lethargic, an inability to cope.
So I try to relate to others, the best way i can. There are days I think i have it all under control , then out of the blue it jumps on you again. I wish it would go away.
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I also relate strongly about Craig's remark about not going onto Facebook anymore. If anything it can exacerbate how you feel and not improve it.
It gets beyond a joke. I had to remove my brother off my friends list cos he used to drive me around the bend with his stupid remarks.
laters
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Although I don't spend much time on Facebook the people who are on my friend's list are mostly like minded people and some of my in-laws that I get on with. They tend to be sensible and it's a good way to communicate. At one time I got to hate it as I managed to get over 1000 people on my friends list and would get caught up with petty arguments as I refused to take sides. My account got hacked a few times then for some reason it got suspended so I proved who I was to get it back to normal. Nobody could explain why it got suspended in the first place so I de-activated it and opened a new one.
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I have activated mine again but haven't really been on it since... it just gets on my nerves with some of the things people put as their status or the stupid arguments people have over something that was taken out of context on fb... so dumb...
people indirectly making digs at people and just being petty....
I haven't made a status change and I wont... its basicly an address book for me and a place to keep my photos... that's all.
unfortunately lostmyway you find its just an ongoing circle of ups and downs, for most it will seem theres mostly downs so appreciate the ups when you can. and try to learn ways to help you cope when your down. a lot easier said than done I understand that believe me but we all have our different coping strategies and hopefully we can all learn from and help eachother!
my account got hacked too pip, or "raped" as they put it... someone changed my status and within minutes I received calls from malta telling me that I was ridiculing the family name... ive been judged for that post since and it was nowhere near true, a prank by some twat I didn't care for in the slightest had a massive impact on how people in my family perceive me...