Depression Forums
General => Welcome our 'NEW MEMBERS'!! => Topic started by: MatthewRobinson on April 07, 2013, 10:51:08 PM
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Hi everyone I'm not sure if this is in the right place but I just need to talk.
Short version of everything is ever since my gf broke up with me my life has just totally gone down hill. I feel mainly responsible for the break up and it kills me every time she tells me its a no no matter what I do including giving up hobbies she said were an issue. I hate hearing of the people she has kissed since we broke up.
But its not just that I can't cope with my uni work and everyone has all these high expectations of me that I just got reach.
I have been diagnosed with depression by the doctor but I spent most of the day crying over my gf. I hate feeling this way and I'm going to be honest I have had suicidal thoughts and come very close.
I just need people to talk to my friends have all ditched me so I'm hoping some people on hear will be willing to listen.
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Welcome to the forum. Hope it can help you just being able to talk etc on here. I know it's helped me out
Jamie
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I don't know if it will I'm already starting to think this was stupid idea.....
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I've been there in the past, depression cause of splitting up with a g/f . I'll help you in any way I can. The problem I had when I was in that position is she kept getting back in touch and using me, that made it even worse for me but at the time I couldn't see that. It took me time but I got through it, although it did mess me up for a long time.
Am here for you to talk to if you want
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My depression didn't cause me to split up with her she caused my depression when we broke up and we are still friends and text nearly evey day and mainly get along fine although now she appears to be ignoring me...... Great.....
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Hi Matthew, welcome to the forums.
It's not silly or stupid to be here at all, just having a place where you can say how you feel can be helpful to many people
breakups can be a very serious issue to some people specialy when the relationship was deep,
have you told your doctor of the situation and how you feel? they might be able to give you something to help get you through this hard time
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I have spoken to him he has pescribed me something but it doesn't seem to be working. I just feel I really can't cope Ican't even muster the energy to get out of bed or eat anymore. Why is she doing this to me?
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Matthew, welcome and it isn't stupid the reason for joining and posting. It can take a while for a prescribed medication to work. It may even need to upped in dosage, changed or even a combination of drugs. For example I am on two for high blood pressure, one for cholesterol ~ they had to be tweaked ~ an anti inflamatory (sp), and three pain killers. One of the pain relief drugs is also used for depression and sleeping tablet.
Break ups can be hard plus you're at uni so it is a stressful time.
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I don't know if I can wait long enough for these stupid things to work. She has just text me and its put a massive smile on my face w were perfect together we had a rough month partly because of me and partly because of her home stuff apart from that we were perfect. Everything reminds me of her I can't get her out of my head I am sick of feeling like this.
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Sometimes it can take a long time to get over a relationship break up, especially if we are feeling rejected. Unfortunately, medications do take their time to have any significant effect. Maybe talk to the GP about increasing the dose, it might help.
Welcome to the Forum. I hope you find it helpful
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I have tried finding other girls but noone seems to like me I feel like a troll and then I think well it doesn't matter anyway as noone is as good as my ex. I am honestly scared being home alone if I had more energy I'm not sure what I would do.
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Even if you did find a new girlfriend now, they would never match up to your ex... But, they will one day, it just takes time to get over someone. When I separated from a partner of 5 years, it took me at least 2-3 years to get over it. Whereas, there are some other people, who can jump from one "serious" relationship onto the next.
I don't know where you are at with the GP and medication. Now that you have started the antidepressants, it's very important you keep taking them and never suddenly stop, as it can make you a lot worse. It might be worth going to speak to the GP about your continuing low mood. It's very possible you need an increase in dosage.
Keep posting, it does help to share 0158
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It sees like all my sharing is doing is making me worse. Why can't I get her out of my head? Probably because she is amazing.... Noone really cares either I wouldn't be missed even the uni health service isn't replying to my emails.
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Of course, people care. Maybe they are busy with other things, try not to take it personally. That's very easy to do when we're depressed. I remember when I was "grieving" over a partner, I'd awaken in the morning and, for that first few seconds, I'd forget that we had separated. Of course, the reminder was never too far away and would hit me like a ton of bricks. It's tough and, unfortunately, there's no easy way. But, please believe me, that day will come when you suddenly realise you are barely thinking about her at all. We all love and have our hearts broken and, YES, we do always recover, eventually. Hang in there. The fact that you are reaching out to the Forum says a lot about your will to get better. I could almost promise you, things will get easier
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I know I am acting like I am the only person to have ever had a breakup which makes me worse as I just think I should man up and get over it but she means everything to me. I don't think things will get better without her. I just don't want to live anymore.
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I don't think you should "man up", anyone one of us would be feeling exactly the same. Eventually things WILL get better without her. I understand that you don't want to live anymore, but I promise you, one day that can change.
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I'm sorry I can't believe that anymore. I know what I need to do.
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Of course you don't believe you will get better. The depression is also adding to the negativity. You do need help, but no one will realise, unless you ask them. Can you go speak to your GP?
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I have spoken to my gp he gave me medcation and a referal to the mental health teamwho have yet to cotact me. Noone wants to talk to me. Everyone hates me. I have applied for councilling with uni but don't know.
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:bash: I tried to post and lost everything. No matter how bad life is you need to persevere as life can get better. The problem is it takes time when you're first diagnosed. It depends on how busy your mental health team are atm and they have to prioritise. It's not that you're less important than anybody else with depression but they have to decide who needs contact quickest out of new clients, fit all new clients in with their current clients and so on. I know that doesn't make you feel any better but they listen when they have contact with you. If you feel worse before they contact you then let your GP know so that things can be speeded up.
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Hi Matthew.... How are you today? I can only second what Pip has said. Community Mental Health Teams are very busy and they do have a bit of a waiting list. Is there any way you can find out the CMHT's telephone number? You could call through to reception. Tell them who you are and how desperate you are for some help. It might not make them respond to you immediately, but it will put you in their mind. The beginning is always the worst, but I promise, through time, it does get better.
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I feel just as &$%+ today my ex text me last night and it made me so happy but now today all that keeps runnning through my mind is her with someone else. I really can't cope none of the official ways of getting help are actually working noone cares and noone interested.
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Hi Matthew, if i had to pick just one saying that i hated the most it would be the 'get over it' one.
anyone who says that has never been in such a deep relationship, or had such strong feelings that you mention.
I would say that the 'official ways of getting help' as you call them are all based around the other person trying to get you to see things in a diferent light, for some it may work and others not so much. If you havent done so already see if there is a MIND office close to you, I find it helpful
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Thats what my ex thinks I should do and I don't know how she has anaged to do it.
What do you mean a mind?
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MIND is an organisation set up for people with depression and other mental health problems. They are a marvelous source of support and are usually quicker at getting things up and running, such as some therapy. You can find their contact details online or in a telephone directory, there should be one in your area.
Sorry, I don't understand that last post...what does your ex think you should do?
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I think Matthew means his girlfriend expects him to get over it.
Matthew it's easier said than done to get over anything. I lost count of the times I used to get told by mum to pull myself together which is one one of my pet peeves. At the time I didn't I was suffering with depression ~ this was in my teens ~ and my family thought I was just a moody teenager. It took till I was 43 to be 'officially' be diagnosed with severe depression.
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I have never heard of MIND before are they a UK organisation?
Yeah its what a good friend recently said to me like my best friend they just said I really just think you need to get over her. I still love her so much.
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In my own experience, I really didn't get over it.... more like you get used to them not being there. I'm not so sure if time is a healer, but it certainly helps build that distance. MIND is a UK organisation and there probably is one in your area. If you're looking for support fast, they are your best bet.