Depression Forums
Depression Related Forums => Depression Central => Topic started by: alex1973 on February 24, 2013, 08:03:01 PM
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I understand this topic has been covered somewhat here recently. I wanted to ask not about accepting depression but once you accepted you had it did it help? I mean by that, once you got medication or counselling or both, or came and joined a depression forum and talked like-minded souls, did it help you in your battle against "blackdog"?
I have a friend who sounds to me as though he is depressed. All the hallmarks of it. When I suggested anti-depressants he barked at me "No way! Never! Not ever!". Those were his words to me. I didnt take offence but I was thinking, maybe he doesnt want to accept he is depressed. I know we covered this subject before but it got me wondering if we are actually in a better position once we accept depression? For all the treatment etc it doesnt mean it goes away or else none of us would be here. Which is a major assumption I know, some people may just use this forum for social reasons after their depression has lifted, or else may come here to offer other support etc.
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I do feel that personally for me accepting I had depression has helped me deal with it. I tried a few times to come off my anti depressants. Each time the depression returned. Now I accept I need them. I would rather take my medication and have a life. I have accepted that I will have bad days and on those days I give in to it and rest. Whereas early on in my depression I would fight it and carry on. Having forums such as this means people realize that we are not alone. It definitely helps me to know others know how I feel.
S x x x x
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Not all depressives take meds. Some try and decide they're not for them, others simply refuse to go down that road. Probably most of their opinion is based on stereotypical views on psychiatric medication.
I find it difficult to imagine anyone being in denial about their depression. For me, the denial was that I need ongoing support for life. But, how can you possibly deny feeling as bad as we do at times? It's right in our faces.
I don't think, for most, depression ever goes away. Sometimes, when we're lucky, it goes into "remission". Like Shaz says, we need to learn to accept the bad days. They are not going to change for anything, so it's best to almost relax into the depression....sort of, "let it flow, let it go".
The Forum makes up about 50% of my coping mechanisms. Even if I'm feeling okay, the posts I read and reply too are contributing to my ongoing stability.
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I think my friend is in denial Cat, I am thinking he is of the opinion that depression is not to be accepted. He seemed very abrupt with me when I suggested anti-depressants. He talked of feeling like he was getting sucked into a black hole. I suggested anti-depressants as I didnt know what else to suggest to him at the time. I know if I suggest counselling I will get the same reaction.
It got me thinking though, am I actually in a better place just because I accept my depression and seek help?
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I think I wanted to help him, I felt abit helpless as what to do. I cant deal effectively with my own depression so I suggested anti-depressants. Maybe the best thing I can do is just listen to him and say "yes I understand those feelings as I have them myself".
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I think that's the best thing you can do. Your friend will know he is not alone in feeling as he does. In time he will hopefully realize he can get help with medication, counselling etc if he needs it.
S x x x x
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Knowing what Im fighting helps a lot
Z xxx
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its not helping me on a day like today, it just is. I cant get rid of it on a day like today.
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Some days its very difficult Alex (((( hugs )))).
S x x x x
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Alex.... Some days are very grim, but, on the whole, I would say you are in a good place by accepting your depression and seeking help. We all need to take our own journey through depression, what's right for me could be totally wrong for you. I'm sure your friend will find his own "road" and he will one day appreciate you just being there whenever he needed you
I hope tonight is a bit better for you
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better for me now after Jui Jitsu practice, maybe abit sore but thats nothing, a few bruises. Got a shock and upset today thats all. My mate is in a bad place tonight. I just have to be there for him I guess.
Sorry for being selfish yet again and going on about myself.
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going down Brum to visit him on Thurs. I think he needs taking out for a curry at least at a time like this. I owe him a visit
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That's a good idea Alex. Seeing him face to face you will be able to see how he is.
S x x x x
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not so much see how he is, I believe he has got depression but at times like these we need our friends. Might cheer him up for abit. Social connections are very important.
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They really are Alex. But I often find that actually seeing someone helps to gauge how they are better.
S x x x x
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Your friend will appreciate your thoughtfulness, Alex
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I think I've learned to accept that it's part of me. it comes with being hypersensitive, my introverted shy nature and creative side.
I've been on a lot of different medication over the last 20 years and to be honest, I've had to stop each and every one because eventually the balance tips and the side effects are more intrusive than the depression. then I cope for a while before it returns and I struggle to function meaningfully.
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thanks musicken. Yes what you say resonates with me alot
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I do think that accepting it is a big step. I think your friend might be scared to admit it; it's unfortunate that there's such a stigma towards any mental health issues - like it's a sign of weakness. or perhaps he feels he's less of a man if he's got depression maybe?
Did you manage to meet up and take him for a curry? I think we all could do with such a thoughtful and kind friend that would turn up with the intention of going out for a meal and a chat. I Hope he's able to accept your help and in time is able to open up about being depressed.
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I did, I went down and took him out for a curry up the road from where he lives. But to be honest I did myself no favours as I ended up sleeping on his floor and had hardly any sleep due to being very uncomfortable. Then I had to come home Friday morning and then do an 8 hrs shift. So it wasnt a good experience for me.
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I hope your friend appreciated you making the trip to see him. If you had been my guest I would have slept on the floor and given you the bed. Only fair knowing you had to travel and go to work the next day.
S x x x x
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It's just as important to look after ourselves, Alex. It doesn't help you by missing sleep etc. But, they say, "what goes around comes around", so I hope it comes back ten-fold, as it was a nice gesture.
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well I have court in the morning here in Portsmouth, so lets hope it does. I wouldnt do anything to gain something good back, just that by going down to see him I didnt do myself any favours. Still its done now and tonight I am in a rather pleasant hotel room in Portsmouth with a lovely, comfy bed.
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You deserve a comfy bed after that night on the floor. Hope you have a good nights sleep so you are refreshed for tomorrow. I will be thinking of you.
S x x x x
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Hi Alex... hope you had a good nights rest in the hotel and today went okay at court
Thinking of you
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Yesterday was court Cat. It was a wasted journey. They had made some admin error and made a court date when they didnt need to as they had made the final hearing at County Court for the 28th. So wasted journey, wasted money, wasted time and tired to boot. Oh, at least she (the ex) actually showed this time, after not turning up for 5 hearings. Must have been because she was threatened with a fine. I suppose its good as it has made her take it seriously now rather than ignore it all.
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What a complete muck up Alex! Crazy. Thinking of you.
S x x x x