Depression Forums

Depression Related Forums => Depression Central => Topic started by: captainkeefy on December 12, 2012, 11:24:35 PM

Title: Hi Guys
Post by: captainkeefy on December 12, 2012, 11:24:35 PM
Just thought I'd pop back and say hi. I know I was only here briefly during my last bout of feeling down but I wanted to come back and say thanks for reading my posts and replying. I've now started CBT and I'm really enjoying doing it. Some of the things I've noticed is that I'm very avoiding of things and people and think I might be co-dependent although my Therapist has just let me talk so far and not really given me any feedback. He just sits there like   %$£ or   !£!. Anyway I hope you are all well and if anyone is feeling down this is for you *()
Title: Re: Hi Guys
Post by: mat on December 12, 2012, 11:38:56 PM
We are always here for you , glad that you are enjoying your cbt  , has it made you look at things in a different light?.
Title: Re: Hi Guys
Post by: captainkeefy on December 12, 2012, 11:59:30 PM
We are always here for you , glad that you are enjoying your cbt  , has it made you look at things in a different light?.

Hi mat,

To be honest coming here made me start seeing things in a different light. I noticed how open and honest people where of themselves and I started looking at myself in this light. I stopped feeling ashamed of myself and realized the things I was ashamed weren't really that big a deal. This made me really open and honest with myself and my Therapist. He hasn't really said much in return yet and he certainly not diagnosed anything but I don't mind because I'm not looking for a label but the thing I have noticed is I have started seeing things differently and started doing things a little different and my Therapist seems impressed that I worked these things out myself.
Title: Re: Hi Guys
Post by: mat on December 13, 2012, 04:46:34 PM
It was the exact same for me, sure my life is not perfect and some days I feel like crap but I honestly don't know what I would of done if I never went to this CBT thing which I had never heard of before in my life.

You have just got to keep with it !...

"mental strength" :D
Title: Re: Hi Guys
Post by: Catbrian on December 13, 2012, 07:16:24 PM
Good to hear the CBT is going well.  I felt exactly the same about my depression and used to keep it like a shameful secret, until I heard people on here.

My experience of therapists is that they never do say very much
Title: Re: Hi Guys
Post by: captainkeefy on December 16, 2012, 12:52:17 PM
I really have committed myself to this CBT. My confidence and self esteem have really increased since I started I think I've found the problem and its really changed how I perceive things in my life. I don't want to get too excited because my therapist has told me to take it slowly and make sure I'm not getting ahead of myself incase I'm wrong. He said its real early on yet so I need to be taking things as they come.
Title: Re: Hi Guys
Post by: Catbrian on December 17, 2012, 02:18:14 PM
I think the Therapist is right, but there's nothing to stop you riding the high you feel for the progress so far.  Probably the Therapist worries about what we are all affected by - disappointment.  So often, we feel on top of things when, all of a sudden, we can take an unexplained dip.

Good luck for continued success....
Title: Re: Hi Guys
Post by: captainkeefy on January 29, 2013, 10:10:44 PM
Hi Guys,

I had a tough time after posting this last time. I emotionally pushed my Wife away, became quite depressed. Then fell madly in love with her again then pushed her away again and had a day of bad depression, but this time it was different because my mood was changing quite fast, well I was more aware of it anyway. My Therapist did say on 19th of December that the dynamics of my relationship where about to change before I pushed her away. In the middle of all this my Therapist cancelled an appointment so I didn't go for 5 weeks.
Title: Re: Hi Guys
Post by: Sweetpea on January 30, 2013, 08:31:12 AM
Sorry you have been having such a rough time. Depression is awful and can put such a strain on our relationships.

S x x x x
Title: Re: Hi Guys
Post by: captainkeefy on January 30, 2013, 12:16:37 PM
Hey, thanks for the kind words. I went the doctors and they put me on a mild anti depressant which I'm hoping helps. It seemed a bit strange with the doctor though as she was reading stuff off her screen from therapy "suffers low confidence, self esteem, sensitive to critism... I don't know what this means." I should of said something, she seemed really dismissive and critical and I didn't know what to say. Then when I was talking she seemed to change the subject a lot and every time I spoke she'd say "sorry, I didn't hear you." I just wanted her to listen. Oh well, at least I got some help.
Title: Re: Hi Guys
Post by: Catbrian on January 30, 2013, 08:38:09 PM
What a cheek the GP had.  First of all, reading such sensitive notes really P's me off at the best of times but for her to then say "sorry I didn't hear you"... it didn't sound like she asked you to repeat it...cheeky mare!!

It's a pity that the Therapist cancelled at such a crucial time.  I hope to get to see her soon.  Is it the Therapist who is writing the notes the GP can see?
Title: Re: Hi Guys
Post by: Sweetpea on January 30, 2013, 09:55:05 PM
That's so rude of the Dr. I would not be impressed. I hope the meds help. Maybe next time ask to see another Dr. You should feel at ease with your Dr.

S x x x x

Sent from my BlackBerry 9300 using Tapatalk
Title: Re: Hi Guys
Post by: captainkeefy on January 30, 2013, 11:28:25 PM
I'm looking forward to get back in to see my therapist next week. It's good to have people who understand. She didn't even really listen
Title: Re: Hi Guys
Post by: Sweetpea on January 31, 2013, 04:49:08 PM
That is so bad that she didn't even listen, does not give you much confidence to go back. Glad you have your therapist meeting again next week.

S x x x x

Sent from my BlackBerry 9300 using Tapatalk
Title: Re: Hi Guys
Post by: Catbrian on January 31, 2013, 07:07:41 PM
And to think these GP are on mega money.... cheeky gits
Title: Re: Hi Guys
Post by: captainkeefy on February 03, 2013, 10:08:44 AM
I've got another appointment with her at the end of the month. I'm going to ask my Therapist to not share so much personal information with her as she seemed quite judgemental with it. Which makes me feel like I don't feel like talking. This obviously isn't a good thing.
Thanks for the replies guys, it's great to have people who understand. My wife doesn't get how I can be down one day and happy the next. I'm finding though that my moods are linked to my feelings of self worth. If people criticise me I feel really down, if they praise me I feel really good about myself.
Title: Re: Hi Guys
Post by: Catbrian on February 03, 2013, 05:20:27 PM
I have exactly the same issues.  When I visit my GP, on his computer screen, there is the patients significant history, giving a list of absolutely everything.  What really gets me is a part of it that says, "1960's sexual abuse".  Of course, when I had an appointment with the no-smoking nurse, she could clearly see this on my file and it made me feel very uncomfortable.  I've already had a dispute about how appropriate it is to know such a personal thing that took place in the 60's, but the GP dug his heals in.  I could have taken it further but cannot be bothered.  This is the main reason why I will not have therapy via the CMHT; the confidentiality is within that team and not with any individual worker

People find depression really difficult to understand.  For some reason, it is always our nearest and dearest who have the biggest problem understanding.  Have you tried getting your wife a pamphlet about depression?  I think there are even support groups for family members.  I wouldn't like to live with anyone during my depression.  Apart from the potential of being horrible to them, having to consider their feelings must be an additional pressure.

I hope you can persuade the Therapist to be a little more sparse with the information.  Good luck
Title: Re: Hi Guys
Post by: captainkeefy on February 03, 2013, 11:34:50 PM
Hi Catb,

I think he will be a bit more secretive with my information as he does seem a really trustworthy person. If not I fear that I won't be able to open up to him. I don't mind him knowing as he takes anything I say from a really non judgemental angle and then explains how it effects the way I perceive the world. When I say something really personal he will say "that's a good thing to work on, this is how it effects your confidence."