Depression Forums
Depression Related Forums => Depression Central => Topic started by: hopeful on August 19, 2012, 11:35:31 PM
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Hi all,
I'm a new member but hope you can help. Joined when I was feeling ok but have had a terrible weekend.
Thought I was coping but this weekend cancelled an outing I'd been looking forward to for weeks because I couldn't move, get dressed, get washed. Was either comatose or crying my eyes out for the rest of it, thinking about ending it all. My husband is at his wits end and tells me I shouldn't I go into work tomorrow. I'm worried about the implications of not going into work and the trouble that will cause, but part of me know he's right and I need to get help. Any ideas welcome. I probably can get up and struggle through work but I know I'm not right and don't know where to ask for help and what to do next. My GP is useless and I couldn't get a last minute appointment unless I was on fire. My therapist is on holiday.
Any ideas?
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I already called in sick to work for tomorrow, i need a day to get head right. I was much happier (well) when i made the decision not to go in, it took some of the pressure off. So insay take it off and look after u hopefully u will feel bettter on tuesday.
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Sallas,
I've read the posts tonight looking for help, and seen yours. I think it's amazing that you would offer help and advice to me seeing as you're in such a bad place yourself. Thank you so much, you're clearly a kind wonderful person to do so. I will see how I feel tomorrow morning but think it's best I phone the community mental health department if not well. I have too many toxic anti-d's in my posession to make it safe for me to be alone and feeling this bad. Thanks again x
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Hello Hopeful. I hope that you can take time for yourself. Your husband sounds very supportive, and as you saw from Sallas, there are people here who listen and care. That's got to be a good thing. Best wishes.
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hopeful, listen to your husband as he wouldn't be saying things to you if he didn't care. Have you thought about changing doctor?
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Hi Hopeful. &(* How have things been today? Did you manage to get the help you needed? Take care.
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Thanks for the advice and concern all. In the end I had no choice but to take time off work as I wasn't functioning at all - couldn't get up and get washed, let alone leave the house. I had to tell my boss about my depression so will see if that makes things worse or if I may get some more support. Fingers crossed.
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I hope you get the support you need xxx
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I was feeling a bit calmer after a week off work, during which I was pretty much a zombie and slept most of the time But today was getting much more anxious as I approach the countdown to going back in. I know I'm going to get called into a room by the boss and will have to explain it to him.
Any ideas on how to explain depression to someone who has showed very little empathy to me in the past?
x
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Have you any close friends at work, who understand what is going on for you? If so, perhaps they could support you. I try to get support for difficult situations where possible. Good luck hopeful.
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Well, I went back in to a surprising amount of support, including boss. So much so that they sent me home because I couldn't stop crying, telling me to take the time I needed to get better.
So another question for you all - how do you know when you're ready to go back in? What should I say to my GP?
x
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Hmmmm, My GP is incredibly supportive on the work front. She says that you know when you're ready when the idea of going back doesn't but you into a state of complete panic, maybe mild anxiety but not panic.
You can also get Fit notes now which help with a graduated return to work.
xxx
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Hi hopeful, what great news that they are so supportive. Really wonderful to know there are some people out there who are understanding!
%^%
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Thanks buttercup, that is great advice. When I went back in this week I was hyperventilating, had chest pains and was crying on the journey in. So I think that's a great way to measure and explain things. I also didn't know about the fit notes and phased return, I will chat to my GP about it. The next thing I need to tackle is talking about changing my meds, but there's probably other posts on that. Thanks guys xx
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Yep, I agree that that was your bodies way of saying it's not the right time yet.
What meds are you on?
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Just on dosulepin at the mo and quite a high dose at that. I think the main way it's helping me has been in reducing anxiety and getting me to sleep. When I had my first serious episode 10 years ago now I tried Sertraline but had a very bad reaction to it - didn't sleep for 72 hours, had muscle spasms and diarrhoea. That made me very wary of trying SSRIs but I see from reading around here that the side effects differ between drugs. I would frankly be glad to see the back of dosuplepin because I've gained 3 stone on it - but would miss my sleep.
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It sounds like it would be worth having a chat with your doctor about the different med options. I did take Fluoxetine for a while and didn't gain weight, it made me feel a bit rough but this faded after a couple of weeks. Apart from that one I don't really know a lot about SSRIs as I can't take them, but they do seem to have different side effects and effect people in different ways.
Are you seeing your doctor soon?
Xxx
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I managed to see a GP today (not my usual one who's on holiday) and am now feeling very disheartened. She berated me for not presenting right at the start of this bad episode, and that she therefore could only count my illness as starting from today. I tried to explain that I was having trouble getting out of bed and thinking straight, but she just said she didn't make the rules. She didn't seem open to discussing meds but has just looked in the BNF and said we should carry on increasing the Dosulepin dosage. She was very reluctant to discuss work and begrudging signed me off for a week.
I'm now really worried that I won't get the support I need from my GP surgery. I have asked to see another one next week for a second opinion but really need to go in more informed next time - which just seems so difficult when I can't think straight.
x
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That doesn't sound at all supportive. When is your normal GP back?
Xxxx
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Not until week after next. But my therapist phoned me up, without knowing about the bad GP experience, to ask my permission to write to my GP about her concerns and ask them to monitor me. Which made me feel a lot more supported.
I'm on a bit of rollercoaster of emotions at the moment, feeling suddenly desperate when I think I'm not being supported, and then a bit better when someone offers help or a kind word. So thank you Buttercup and everyone else, I'm so glad I found this forum.
xx
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That was terrible the way that Dr treated you. I am lucky my Dr is lovely and understands. So glad your counsellor is supporting you. I know it means a lot. S x x x.
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Hi hopeful,
Hang in there. That GP sounds really unsupportive and actually her attitude sounds like bad form.
Don't be disheartened - I am sure that when your usual GP is back you will be much more supported. And you have us all here, ready to listen if you need to get stuff off your chest.
Great also that your therapist got in touch - maybe if she wrote to your GP, it would add weight to the argument for giving you support.
I know it's tough to do so but try to ignore that idiot GP and her attitude. You are in the right.
I am the same, with see-sawing between desperation when I can't get support (eg a therapist or GP appointment) and elation when I do.
Just remember you are never totally alone (even when you feel like it).
*()
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Hi
I'm really glad that your therapist has phoned you and it is good that they are wanting to contact your doctor.
I think its natural to see-saw with desperation, if you're like me then when I feel bad all I want is to feel looked after and don't want to have to push for everything.
xxx
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Hi hopeful. +-_ Your normal doctor doesn't sound too helpful, and this temporary one has acted awfully. Maybe the letter to your GP will wake them up to your needs. Or maybe your therapist could recommend a decent supportive GP? Thinking of you. Best wishes. $^%
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Hi hopeful, what great news that they are so supportive. Really wonderful to know there are some people out there who are understanding!
%^%
And we all here to support you too, take care
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Hi all. I had an intense but ultimately positive therapist appointment today where she reassured me that this is a severe depression and all these bad thoughts are the disease and not me. So I feel, at least for the moment, a bit more supported. I also sang the praises of everyone on here.
But I'm now getting horribly anxious about my GP appointment tomorrow as I know I need more time off work. I stress need, not want, I just can't do it. I'm going to write down some things to tell the doctor as I'm not thinking straight.
But what if they don't give me more time off work? Has anyone else been refused and what do you do next? I feel I would be a little calmer if I had a back up plan.
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So good to hear you had such a positive appointment with your therapist. It helps so much to have good support. I also get myself into a state about dr's appointments ((((( hugs ))))). S x x x x
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Wanted to post some good news. I saw a new GP who was lovely and very supportive. I've started new meds (citalopram) and he gave me a weeks worth of diazepam to give me a "holiday" from my intense anxiety. I know it's temporary, but the break from feeling desperate and suicidal is such a relief.
I still feel very foggy mentally and I'm making lots of mistakes in day to day life. Do the meds help this go away, or is it just time? Or therapy?
Thanks for the support guys,
xx
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Thats god that the new dr you saw was so supportive, it makes such a difference having a dr that understands and is easy to talk to. I think that the right meds and time will make you feel better. The Diazepam will give you a welcome break from the anxiety and then hopefully the Citalopram will start to help and you will begin to feel better. Take care.
S x x x x
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Great news, hopeful!
The meds should start to help with the fogginess. Great news on the diazepam too - what a relief.
Hope you are doing OK today *()
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Hey all,
The diazepam holiday ended yesterday and now I feel flooded with anxiety again waking up in a panic in the middle of the night about work. I know the meds will probably kick in in the next couple of weeks but it's going to be tough.
I'd really like to talk about my issues with being bullied at work but don't feel safe doing so on the public forum - would any of the admin's be ok upgrading me so I can talk about it in the private forums?
H xx
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%^% %^% for you Hopeful.
S x x x x
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Thanks Shaz. Now I feel like I muppet - how do I raise a private topic? xx
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Take care, hopeful. *() Best wishes.
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I'll sort it for you hopeful xxx
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Thanks Zaf.
hopeful ~ do you want this thread moved to the private area or do you want to start a new one?