Depression Forums
Depression Related Forums => Depression Central => Topic started by: Owl on July 12, 2012, 09:47:49 PM
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Today I haven't really known how to deal with everything. I think the events of the past few months have hit me hard. I didn't think I would be here to deal with all this rubbish and now I am it has become a bit too much.
Nothing has gone to plan and seen as I am still here my life is no-longer going in the direction I expected it to. I'm having to leave uni for a year and everything has just fallen apart.
I'm so frustrated with myself and angry , so angry!! I feel like I and my life are falling to pieces and no matter how hard I try I can't get it back and it makes me so angry and upset.
I've also started getting "those" thoughts again, to the extent I wrote a letter, which I haven't thrown away, last week. I feel like I'm losing it and I'm absolutely exhausted at trying when I never seem to feel any better. I'm fed up and don't want to do it anymore, no more attending appointments or anything because in the end it seems that it is futile.
My life wasn't meant to turn out like this and I don't know what I'm meant to do with myself or why people are still being nice to me. Because if I can't pull myself together no matter how much they are helping me.
Don't feel you need to reply, I just needed to have a rant. I don't even know if it makes sense. I'm just so fed up and feel completely exhausted with the situation. I don't want to do it anymore. Blah.
Fox
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Hey Fox. Ranting is good. I love a good rant. Its great getting things off your chest or more so out of your soul. Thats where i think these feelings come from. Deep within.
Even just punching away on your keyboard or bloody annoying iphone is therapeutic as it sets our feelings free no matter how bad they are.
You look after yourself. xx
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Thinking of you Fox, I know all those feelings well %^% xx
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This is the place to rant fox, sometimes its the best way of getting things off our chest %^% xx
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Think I might just quit my job today and go and hide somewhere!
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%^% for you Fox. I know how you feel x x x
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Think I might just quit my job today and go and hide somewhere!
Really feel for you, Fox. Sometimes you just want to be as far away from people as possible.
Beet
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I know that feeling well :( xxx
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Didn't resign, mainly because I didn't have the guts. Frustrating. My boss did have me close to tears though and everyone kept asking if I was okay...
Bleugh, I'm absolutely exhausted and completely fed up.
Hope everyone's well.
Fox
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So feel for you. Admire you for holding down a job while suffering with depression. S x x x x
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TAnks Shaz,
To be honest I think I'm just going through the motions. I'm never all there when I'm at work and my head is filled with other things. The only reason I really go is because I've had to drop out of uni for a while and if I didn't go to work my life would be filled with nothingness. Plus my family keep telling me I will regret it if I let it go as I apparently used to love it. But it's absolute hell. I also don't feel I could tell my boss the ins and outs of what has been going on.
So I'm kind of stuck with it.
Fox
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Its very difficult to know what to do. At least work is giving you a purpose. Its hard when we suffer as we do to know what is the best thing to do. Take care. S x x x x