Depression Forums

Depression Related Forums => Depression Central => Topic started by: joethfc on June 29, 2012, 10:33:57 PM

Title: Nobody's listening
Post by: joethfc on June 29, 2012, 10:33:57 PM

 There's just so much for me to do this coming month, and now I'm depressed. I just think I'd rather get out (not die) of this life, take some kind of break. The practicalities are a bit complicated, I will have to wait a month before I can even spare a moment for my mental health. I just need an intensive course of dealing with this thing. It always gets away too soon (and also too late). I don't want to get temporarily better, then worse, then better, even worse, better, worse, even worse, better, etc.

People either don't want to hear, and have politely said as much; or they're too wrapped up in their own problems; or they purely don't understand that I'm not choosing to feel this way and taking a walk isn't a cure-all (though I realise it helps). Maybe I avoid compassionate people because I feel betrayed by their emotional promiscuity.

Oh god, I think it's getting a little worse every time. Less suicidal but there's a revelation every time which makes it just a little bit more twisted. "£"

Title: Re: Nobody's listening
Post by: Sweetpea on June 29, 2012, 10:42:22 PM

Nobody would choose to feel as we do, why some people think that we would always amazes me  :(.  Its very hard when we can go up and down so quickly.

I do feel for you.

S x x x x

Title: Re: Nobody's listening
Post by: joethfc on June 29, 2012, 10:43:52 PM

It's like a rollercoaster. The rise is slow and the fall is quick.

Title: Re: Nobody's listening
Post by: Buttercup on June 29, 2012, 10:50:20 PM

I think that's the worst of it just as we think we're over the worst it all crashes down again

Title: Re: Nobody's listening
Post by: Sweetpea on June 29, 2012, 11:17:13 PM

I always feel the fall is so much worse when we have been feeling better.  A rollercoaster is a good name for it.

S x x x x

Title: Re: Nobody's listening
Post by: Zaf on June 30, 2012, 07:36:30 AM

Its definitely a good description :(   Everyone here will listen and understand xxx

Title: Re: Nobody's listening
Post by: joethfc on June 30, 2012, 06:46:05 PM

I think my revelation today is that my primary problem might just be anxiety, the depression acts as some kind of relief from anxiety. I realise it's common to suffer both, I've just always tended to take the depression more seriously. It explains to me why I may feel a bit protective of my depression; because I worry much less when I'm depressed, I just don't care. Then I feel better and worry about everything. Both things are a cure for the other, very dysfunctional, like an unhealthy human relationship.

Title: Re: Nobody's listening
Post by: Zaf on June 30, 2012, 06:52:13 PM

I think thats very often how it works joehfc :(

Z xx

Title: Re: Nobody's listening
Post by: Sweetpea on June 30, 2012, 08:50:06 PM

I hate the anxiety - I have suffered with this all my life  :(.

S x x x x