Depression Forums
Depression Related Forums => Depression Central => Topic started by: Micky on May 28, 2012, 09:51:58 AM
-
So many people here with problems much worse than mine plus I keep thinking I'm getting better and then another period of despair kicks in. I can't shake this feeling that I should pack it all in when I get to 50. If I'm still alone then, then I don't want to carry on. My outside doesn't match my inside anymore. It's not vanity, it's more like being trapped in a decaying shell. I've wasted so much of life with depression, low self esteem etc that I can't bear to think about it.
I'm off to a music festival in a couple of weeks that I booked before the depression kicked in. I know I'll be fine once I get there but I'm dreading afterwards because I know I'll get really down again. I always do when I go visiting friends etc. I would have not bothered but I paid a lot of money for the tickets so I have to go.
And I'm still drinking too much.
Just realised I should have posted this in journals. Oops!
-
your drinking wont help the depression, as an ex near alcoholic I know that to my cost :(
-
I know Zaf but it's all I have to come home too.
-
its not easy to give up, especially when you are lonely but Ive since realised it didnt help and the two occasions I broke my promise to stop I knew it wasnt the solution.
Z x
-
Rationally I know all of this but I still keep doing it. I have had the odd night off from alcohol and it wasn't too bad but to stop altogether is a scary thought. Like I said, for now it's all I have.
-
do you mind if I ask how much you drink in the evening?
-
Maybe a bottle and a half of wine or three or four bottles of beer/cider. I always drink lots of water during the day to flush my kidneys.
It's not helping my bank balance or weight either : (
-
Personally I'd say try to cut down first, perhaps cut out the half bottle of win?
-
Haha! yeah I say that when I start the first bottle and then by the end of the first bottle, my resolve has gone. But yes I will try to cut down. I enjoy the drunk feeling I get. It's like a warm hug. I tend to drink quite fast to get to that point and then slow down till bedtime.
-
Ive been there too so I know exactly how you feel, try getting in just enough for one night at a time, I found it helped, the more I had in the house the more I would drink
Z x
-
The daft thing is my sister is an alcoholic so I know the pitfalls. Luckily I don't have an addictive personality. When I'm ready to give up I can quite easily.
I've just had my medication doubled so maybe I'll be a bit better soon and can stop the drinking.
-
it might help, but I was still drinking while on a high dose
Z x
-
Oh well :-\
I'll try and think twice if I really need a drink each evening. Some evenings are better than others, mood wise.
-
its worth doing it if you can, as you say - the weight and the bank balance suffer drinking a lot
-
I can relate to what you are both saying concerning drink. I've had various problems with it, mainly self-medicating and the thought of having a drink used to get me through a work day. I mainly drank cider and vodka, sometimes together. Although I have curtailed it somewhat recently.
-
I thought about Vodka as it's lower in calories but it doesn't get me the same kind of drunk as wine, beer and cider. I don't get that warm enveloping feeling. Smoking dope would be better but I gave that up a long time ago.
-
I can relate to it too. Wine is my weakness. I can quite happily have the odd g&t or v&t or a couple of bottles of lager and not want any more. But I cannot do this with wine. I have to finish the bottle and occasionally have to start another one too. Wine is the only alcohol I binge with.
The trick of only buying one at a time works for me, that way I cannot have more than one and cannot have it every day unless I go to the shops.
I know it makes me depressed, I used to be a happy giggly drunk but not any longer, it just exacerbates my low mood
I've had to go cold turkey for the last 9 days because I was on a type of antibiotics which cannot be mixed with alcohol (or I risked being violently ill). It has been tough, but showed me I can go without. My mood has still been low but I have slept better.
Really hope you can reduce your consumption &*(
-
Thanks Kate. I will try, if only for my beer belly : )
-
try antabuse or camprasol,they are both medications prescribed to stop drinking. although you have to keep taking them every day
-
I'll think about going down that road if I can't do it myself. Thanks.
-
Wine was my evil too, occasionally strong cider
-
I think wine is such a social and "acceptable" drink that it creeps up on you and before you know it, the glass/bottle is gone and you're on to the next one.
I couldn't drink the volumes of lager needed to get me drunk anymore (my student days are long gone!) and I would notice if I'd had half a bottle of gin in a night and feel quite ashamed, but wine is just so accessible and I know that i and many of my friends use it to justify almost anything.... Bad day, good day, stressful day, easy relaxing day, all children and relationship stresses or celebrations, bbqs, sunny afternoons in a beer garden, birthdays, weddings, funerals, getting a job, losing a job, anything at all..... crack open a bottle of wine and it solves everything and anything
I guess what I'm saying is that wine is a trap that many many if us fall into &*(
-
I think it is and somehow more comforting than spirits