Depression Forums
Depression Related Forums => Depression Central => Topic started by: mrmoody on May 24, 2012, 01:28:40 PM
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just thinking crazy things like writing suicide notes to all my friends and suicide methods....wont mention any here but one was quite brutal I thought of last night. Then start thinking....lets dissapear somewhere, back to California,go to Stockton California(travel to NY and hitchhike over to the west coast) and become a hobo and maybe I could die out there seeing as thats the place I loved and was happiest in....California I mean.Maybe I could buy a gun. Then start thinking of dissapearing to Italy(I was there sleeping rough for 5 weeks back in winter with a Greek friend of mine so it isnt that far-fetched)
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I sometimes have thoughts of disappearing too, nowhete quite as exotic, an isolated cottage somewhere very remote in Scotland
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no I mean not where anyone can find me again
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No one at all or people you know?
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Oh Alex you can't do that, people will be worried for you.
S x x x x
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i can relate to that Zaf, the thought of somewhere isolated, if only i could afford it lol
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Just think miles and miles of wilderness between me and the rest of the world - absolute bliss :)
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The lure of escape. Know how that feels too mate. Sometimes I think of leaving this country, with its beautiful countryside neatly sectioned off for those who can afford it, but then I remember the NHS and suddenly the local park doesn't seem so bad. Or I dip my feet in the sea - no one can inherit that and charge me rent to be there.
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I remember posting here a while ago about some of us disappearing to a remote island, with no pressures and sun and sea. Bliss :).
So if ever I win the lottery I will take whoever wants to come from here :).
S x x x x
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Book me a space on that island please shaz :)
Z xx
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No prob Zaf, as long as I get the window seat ;).
S x x x x
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No problem, I take it we'll be going first class? ;)
Z xx
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thanks for turning my post about suicide or dissapearing into some kind of joke. no I was thinking of dissapearing where no one can find me. not some desert island dream. which to be honest I think would drive most people up the wall after awhile anyways
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It wasnt intended to upset you, some posts just develop that way.
Z xx
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it did upset me. you want to know what the brutal method was...I saw a train pull into the station last night and realised how easy it would be to run onto the tracks and put my neck on the rails and be decapitated. my idea of going somewhere isnt pleasant either, being a hobo or bum on the road in a foreign country is both difficult and stressful. but anything beats this. I cant take much more of this &$%+. its ok for you lot, you have partners and family and people who love you. try living alone in a &$%+hole with no one, no job,no hope no nothing and not having any family cos they despise you and a vindictive ex who stops you from seeing your only children
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We didn't mean to upset you, but sometimes its nice to see the lighter side of depression.
S
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I get ye, i dont have a partner or kids, last year i had no job and bat load of debt and lived in ahouse that scared the &$%+ out of me and a house mate who was crazy in the physco killer kinda way. Nobody meant to be offensive about getting away i suppose its just the first thing people thing of when u talk about going somewhere isolated is a desert island. Have u ever seen a movie called Into The Wild? Its about a guy who drops everything and goes hitching towards Alsaka, i wont ruin the ending but ur idea reminds me of the movie. Well i kinda have to ruin alittle bit of it but its a factial story so u may already know he ends up isolated, alone and starves. I always thought id like to have one last adventure before it ends. Like its this bad now how could it possible go wrong? I die? Saves me a job at the end. I dont know what ur thinking, is that where u are at though? Or is it more u hate urself so much u think u desere to die horrifically? I get that too. Ive looked at knifes for two long, thinking just one hit to the stomach...
Either way sorry ur feeling so &$%+, i hope it gets better, stay strong x
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sorry for being tetchy. I have seen the film, I always thought he must have had mental health problems hence why he gave away all that money and ended up dying of starvation or didnt he eat some poisionous berries? Anyways I know some people glorified his life a little after seeing the film and I read a piece by a ranger in Alaska that basically said he was sick of seeing young people turn up in Alaska and copying the guy because they had seen the film and then found themselves in trouble. I thought he was perhaps someone suffering but his family wanted to know him which makes it all the more sad whereas mine dont give a &$%+ about me nor does my ex
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Yeah but watching the film he didnt know his family wud be that bothered. But we saw they actually were. Maybe ur family & ex do care and u just dont realise. But then againt maybe there just twats like alot of my so called mates. We can do nothing about wether other people give a &$%+ about us, we have been dealt a bum deal i suppose we just gotta make the most of it ( i say that from a purely hypocritial point of view though obviously since im here too). It wud be nice to start again though, doenst matter where or how many people are around, a fresh start would be ammmmazing though!
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having done it, gone to Italy for five weeks and slept rough in Tuscany and also a more 'organised' move to Amsterdam for 9 months I know its not easy at all and all you do is take yourself to a new place. Having said that its bloody fantastic living in a new city like Amsterdam and exploring it at your own pace and I have many happy memories of the place
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no my mum and dad arent twats and I still love them dearly, they are just very flawed. But they wont face up to that so its easier to put and place it all on the one person who was the most likely to absorb it all and was the most sensitive and messed up...ME!!
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&*(