Depression Forums
General => Welcome our 'NEW MEMBERS'!! => Topic started by: whiteadder on May 22, 2012, 06:19:20 PM
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I've had anxiety and depression all my life, as well as constant pain from arthrytis for the past 10 years. I've had medications on and off. I often pretended everything was ok just for the sake of my career, but a few weeks ago it all became too much and I had a breakdown. Some of the symptoms I've had are panic and fear, hopelessness, aural hallucinations, sleepless nights, spasms,being unable to move, thinking I'm not real, tiredness, detachment, non specific guilt, thoughts of death, and forgetting whatever the hell the rest of the symptoms have been. Since being off work I've realised I don't really have any friends. I worry constantly about my daughter's disability and her future. We lost our house years ago and live in rented accommodation, which I fear we may struggle to afford in the future. I feel detached from my body and alienated from a society I feel I have no stake in. I used to take solace and pride in my alternative views but now I just feel lonely in a world that makes no sense to me. Hope I can meet some people on here who understand where I'm coming from and perhaps even help them a bit too.
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Hi and welcome
I can certainly relate to most of those depressive symptoms and I know many others here will too. I have alternate views too and often feel very different from 'normal' people and even with excellent counselling struggle with those feelings sometimes.
Z xx
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Hello and welcome to the forum,
I can relate to alot of what you have said. Hope the forum helps you. It has been a godsend to me, just being able to talk to people that understand.
S x x x x
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You guys just made my day - thanks x
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Hope it helps, we are a really friendly bunch :).
S x x x x
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Hi Whiteadder,
I can relate to a lot of what you say, especially alternative views, for me them being a bit of science and music. Most people around me aren't interested in that. I also have no friends, well I do have three but I only see them once or twice a year and they live in the same town as me! Equally my fault I know but when I'm depressed I don't really want people around.
Beetzart
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Shaz and Zaf aren’t the only ones with alternative views. I go back from the 1960’s with mine. Sorry to hear you've been hallucinating, I go in for that too. It's a real pain in the arse
Love
Steve
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Hi and welcome
I can certainly relate to most of those depressive symptoms and I know many others here will too. I have alternate views too and often feel very different from 'normal' people and even with excellent counselling struggle with those feelings sometimes.
Z xx
Sorry, I don't mean to hijack this thread but Zaf, I feel like that. In some ways I'm glad I'm interested in the things I am, but would I change that for a healthy mind? Bit like lobotomising Beethoven or Hemmingway.
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No problem beetzart, everyone's views are welcomed :)
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Some of your symptoms sound a bit like psychotic depression, another personal friend of mine. Are you getting proper treatment – anti-psychotics and anti-depressants ?
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.>,
I can relate to how you're feeling including arthrits pain which certainly doesn't help depression.
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Thanks Beetzart, Steve and Pip - great to know there are people with so much in common on here.
I'm not on meds at the moment - came off sertraline a good while ago and now awaiting referral and further support...I don't want to jump on board with a new set of meds until I'm sure I've been properly understood and maybe further diagnosed by the medical bods.
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....and I'm looking forward to hearing more about everyone's alternative views as I get to know you more. Thanks all for such a warm welcome.
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Saw a couple of your book choices were Is there LIfe after death? and The Power of Now - I too read similar titles and Tolle's books
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Zaf - I love pondering the meaning of it all, speculative science, mysticism etc. Helps me not to worry so much about politics, economics and all that jazz.
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I dont worry about politics or economics these days whiteadder; we possibly have very similar interests - mine range from quantum physics to mysticism with a fair few 'weird' things in between :)
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Have decided to post a journal in the journals section. Found it very therapeutic writing a lilttle bit about the day. Nothing about quantum physics or mysticism in it today but, believe me, it's only a matter of time.
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:D
Many of us find keeping a journal helpful :)
Z x
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Just read your first post. Have you a diagnosis of psychosis?
Steve
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Hi Steve, no I don't, but I have very recently reported those symptoms to the doctor and been referred to a psychiatrist, so hopefully all will become clear. I understand there can be psychosis-like symptoms associated with bipolar and I think that's what my GP is thinking. You guys are the experts though so all opinions gratefull received :)
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Are you bi-polar? Bipolar with psychotic features does occur especially type 1. Unipolar Depression with psychosis is also a possibility.
I have never knowingly had psychosis, and I have no advice on how to deal with it. Steve Wellam has psychotic depression and he has many years experience of dealing with it.
Some of your symptoms do sound like psychosis, but wait to see what your psychiatrist says.
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Hi Stevie...thanks for your replies. I really appreciate your comments as they've helped me direct some of my research in to what the hell might be going on in my head :)