Depression Forums
Depression Related Forums => Depression Central => Topic started by: Sallas on May 20, 2012, 06:37:45 PM
-
Im drinking far too much lately. Feel horrific after. Cant keep going like this. I think Im ready for some proper help.
Im not quite sure where to start. I cant deal with life today.
-
Go to your GP sallas and get treatment for depression if you arent already, try to be honest about your drinking if you possibly can, your doctor may be able to help.
Try AA if you think you are dependent on alcohol. Alcohol wont help believe me, I was near alcoholic until about 3 years ago and it really doesnt make you feel better in th long run
Z xx
-
I know. The drinking has been my new way pf coping, i suppose its always been there but its getting out of control. Im out of control. I dont know what to live for. I dont think i want to live right now. If i had a gun, it would be game over today. One quick decision.
-
Dont go down that route sallas, please go to your doctor for help
Z xx
-
F.........................ck! £*$ I cant believe im here again! I cant deal with it all. I need an off switch. My body is broken from being really sick. My head is saying its time to go. My heart is beating faster than it should. Its all breaking down fast. How do I disapear? I need help but do I want it? I need help. I am so stupid, I just dont know where to begin.
-
Really cant deal. Ive just been sick again. How I havent passed out is a miracle. I feel like ive swallowed knives. I just txt someone there in hope to start some sort of dialogue as to how im feeling. Nothing back yet though. I think ive hit rock bottom (again). I cant deal with anything, i need to
go away. I need help so badly!!
-
Please go to A&E or contact your out of hours GP service
Z xx
-
I couldnt physically talk to anyone right now, i defiantly couldnt do a&e id be embarresed. I wish i cudnt sleep it off. Im so thirsty but cant keep water down. Im just venting here its taking my mind of tablets.
-
Could you phone the samaritans?
-
Ive just txt two more people telling them how low i am. hopefully someone will get back to me.
-
Keep venting here until someone gets to you to help you, at least we will know you are ok if you keep posting.
S x x
-
I hope they do, as shaz says keep posting if you can
Z xx
-
Thats very kind of u to give a &$%+. Thanks.
Ive literally just laid my soul bare to these people u think they would reply straight away. Its not there fault im just getting abit panicked. I dont think im going to kill myself but i dont know what the alternative is. Ive really f***ed up my life, i need a redo. why cant i just sleep it off.
-
What if they dont reply, dont know what ill do
-
Call 999 and tell the operator what you've drunk/taken, they will know what to do
-
I havent drunk/ taken anything today, im hungover. Not much they
Cud do about the being sick. Really thirsty though.
-
Sounds as you are dehydrated, can you keep nothing down?
-
Not even a sip of water :( they txt back both more or less saud lets meet up for drinks during the week and discuss. They dont get it at all. They said said tomorrow is a new day, i know this but i need to get theough tonight to see tomorrow. I dont know how to tell them how bad everything is.
-
You need to tell someone how bad things are. Can you just text them again saying you need help and will explain when they get to you. You must have help.
S x
-
You need help if you can keep nothing down, please phone the out of hours service, you can be given an injection that will stop you being sick so you can drink water little and often to stop becoming dehydrated
Z xx
-
Ive stopped texting, if they cant be bothered to txt i doubt they will come over. I thought they wud suggest it but no. Its always the same , the few times ive asked for help no one takes me serious. Feeling extra alone now. Maybe im just not worth being saved.
-
You are worth being saved. You must ring the out of hours dr or 999 to get some help.
S x
-
We are here for you, everyone is worth saving, please do get some medical help
Z xx
-
I know i shud but im not going to, if its ok woth u guys im just gonna hang out here and try get threw asbest i can.
-
Its fine to do that
Z xx
-
Hang in there.
It may sound bizarre but have you tried sipping lemonade or soda water. It's something to do with the bubbles, supposedly it helps. A GP told my grandad this when he couldn't keep anything down.
-
Please ring 999 and they will help even if you do not know what to say, they will get help to you.
S x
-
Yeah, ice and everything. Ill be fine, to be honest im mOre worried about tomorrrow, work, life in general. Ill get threw it, i know i will, i hope. I just wish things were different. I need to change, but im broken. I need someone to say it will be ok. I know yous are more than willing to say it but i need face to face, it will be ok. I dont think it will be though.
-
It wont be OK unless you get some sort of medical help for your depression, it wont go away by itself :(
Z xx
-
You need help to get better. Fighting it on your own is very hard.
S x x
-
I know, heres half my problem. Im going to
be really honest. Im the party girl, the one people say lets go do this or that to, it always involes drink, i only see friends when out drinking. Depression i can handle (well.....) but drinking and depression is killing me. Im afraid if i stop drinking i loose the friends i have and then the depression will get worse. I dont know, so many things going on in my head right now.
I did just have some 7up tho, i hope to god it stays down
-
Hope the 7up stays down.
You really need help with the drinking and help with your depression. Alcohol is a depressant. If your friends are true friends they will still be there if you stop drinking. You really can't go on like this.
S x x
-
Thats a dilemma but are they friends if they only want to know you when alcohol is involved. Could you tell them you cant drink while you're ill?
-
Here's hoping. You do need to get some medical help though and like the others say, it needs to be done urgently.
-
I know, its bad. Something will definatly done this week. Im thinking or going to an Aware meeting tomorrow. Thank u for all ir comments i really appreciate them. & u have really made a diffference over the last few hours. Im forever greatful. & here comethe tears. I wish my brain could just stop for a few minutes. A few minutes silence woulc be so good!
-
Have you ever thought about learning meditation or getting some relaxation cd's?
Z x
-
No im kinda afraid to allow myself so much time to think. Its a good idea though. I think if i can just make it through the night i can put a plan better together tomorrow. Im so sad though, broken & kinda scared. Cant believe the girls stoped txting.
-
I feel like my friends don't really understand me either. A mixture of they don't really care and they just generally don't get it. Sometimes I can go a whole week and no one will text me or try to get into contact with me. It does it get better though, if you find yourself getting worse though do call the out of hours service or go to A and E. Hugs to you xxx
-
Yeah i find im always the one keeping in touch. We have had friends committ suicide and they always say if only they knew, here i am telling them how bad its gotten and they cant/wont even have a txt conversation. It hurts. I feel incredible alone tonight.
-
Crying is good it get things out. Hope you can get some help you need.
S x x
-
:( cant believe i potentially have work tomorrow, i can think of nothing worse, i cud sleep for days. My body is so broken it hurts everywhere. Maybe ill slip away in my sleep, that wud save my family from an extra heartache of suicide. I wonder if i just stayed in my apartment how long ot wud take people to realise i was missing. Yeah my brain is in overdrive!
-
Can you not take a sick day and go and get help from your dr?
S x x x x
-
are you ok? whats gone off? keep posting. I felt suicidal last night too. I kept talking to my friend and it really helped take my mind off things. I hope one of your friends go back to you. I know what its like to feel that rock bottom
-
Nah i had tonsilitous last week so was off a couple of days so i really cant take anymore off. I know it sounds crazy her i am rock bottom and im talking about work but i suppose i need to keep up the illusion im fine, i need the money for rent. Im exhausted, i just looked in the mirror and im covered in bruises from last nights antics. My body hurts so bad, think im actually getting the tonsilitous back from being sick so much today. god i want to curl up and wish the world away. Its going to be another long night.
-
Hi moody, glad u got through last night. No one is texting, well my ma just txt me to say she loves me which is nice ( she doesnt know, it wud break her heart. Im going from im feeling ok to, i cant do this anymore ever few minutes. Im so all over the place. Id love to escape it all just for awhile.
-
Can you not get an appointment for after work? Just worried for you.
S x x x x
-
Thanks Shaz im gonna come up with a plan tomorrow right now im just trying to get through th night xxx
-
Thinking, thinking & thinking. About nothing and everything. Finding it difficult to breath. Throat problems & abit of a panic attavk happening. My heart itches & im over tired.
-
Do you know of breating exercises you can do to help? I am concerned for you, really think you need to call someone for help.
S x x
-
Made it through the night & feel pretty confident about getting help. I know i cant go on like this. Im gonna try get to a go today, im going to mail my friends to tell them in abit more detail where i am at. Hopefully thats a start. Still feel awful but slightly more hopeful. Thanks for ur msgs yesterday, u have no idea how much they helped x
-
Thats good to hear, you are making a start. Let us know how it goes.
Take care
S x x x x
-
I dont know what to say anymore. I dont know why im even back here. My mind was made up again and a moments break and here i am. Distraction.
-
How are you feeling Sallas?
-
Not good. Not good at all. I just cant seem to snap myself out of it. Im exhausted & scared. I know the answers ring people call ur dr etc but i cant, i wont & i dont know if even want to. What if i get through this how many more times do i go here. Im just so done with feeling this way. Ive been thinking for the past hour about how people wud react to the news, i dont know why, its like im hoping to find a reason not to but if they only knew how bad this felt, they would understand im sure of it. im not going to but i cant i cant understand why not, its like its worse punishment to stay alive. dying would be more than i deserve. I just dont know how im here again. Im just ranting sorry, i just know writing here occupies me. I want to sleep but my eyes sting.
-
I feel for you,i really do. Hugs x x
But i personally know its impossible for me to pull myself out of where i am alone. I have support of family, friends, people here but that still isnt enough. I have just in last few weeks found s professional who truely understands where i am and how i feel and i cant put into words how wonderful that is. You really do need to seek help for this. Why are you against getting medical support??
-
Im not really, its just anytime ive tried ive never been taken serious, i get the everyone has problems card. Maybe i dont express myself well enough, although i think im just short of screaming at them 'im dying here' no one ever seems to help no matter how much i ask or beg them to, yesterday o had a few hours of being positive and pro active. I told friends, rang councellors and the aa. Didnt heat from one friends today, no responce from the councellors to my emails or calls, the aa did respond but there opening line of ee dont council or help with medial something something made me feel like i need to be in a reasonable state before i go to a meeting. As in i dont cry all the way through one. It seems like its just me no-one seems to want to help. If inwas looking for a sign from the universe, id have it 12 times over. Again i know try other ones ill find someone eventually but right now im having one big pity party that no one cared enough AGAIN to help. Im 32 i should be old enough to help myself, i sound like a whinging kid with excuse after excuse, i get that. Theres just so many things in my head, i havent got it in my to ask again. I just need to calm to down wake up tomorrow and hope its a better day. Nite. Thanks.
-
It's so important that you feel listened to and that you are taken seriously. Don't know if this will help but I found it helpful to take a written list of everything I'd been experiencing to my GP. Take care :)
-
That definitely does help sallas, and stops you forgetting important things you need to say
Z xx
-
I have tonsilitis again, starting to think thats why have been so alone, my body knew it wasnt right. Cant take days off or make my gp ( i have medical card). I tried two others and they wouldnt see me with about paying upfront ( i have no funds) the result is im boiling up, can barely breath, maybe this was the out i was looking for. Right now though i could do really do with some hardcore drugs. I maybr soley responsible for the heat wave.
-
Drink lots of water sallas and do try to get to your octor somehow if you possibly can
Z xx
-
Could you not go to A & E and explain, surely they should help and pay later, know its different in Ireland to here.
S x x x x
-
U have to pay 100 upfront for a&e, i dont think they refuse anyone but its highly embaressing. I got a dr today though kind enuf to bill me, i didnt get into the depression cause i cud barely talk with throat but i got enuf tabs to sort throat & get a good nights sleep so hopefully thar will help. Me & Prince Vallium hav a date, so night all and again thanks for ur msgs this week. I hope u are all well, sending u all good vibes & i hope tomorrow brings u at least one piece of happiness in one way or another. Stay strong xxx
-
I am so drunl!! Wtf!! How can i not go to work tomorrow? Thats alli. Need, oneday :))
-
F.......k cant believe i did that last night. Im back in the pit today. Its never going to get better is it? The subject says it all, i hate myself. I just cant deal being me.
-
Feeling completly overwhelmed sith life tonight, im at that stage where i dont mnow how im foing to get back to some sort of normality. The last few weeks have been hardcore. Normally id deal with one or teo nights rock bottom. Ut its breen consistent the last while. I have a gp appointment tomorrow with a dr i went to years ago when i first addmitted being depressed, im hoping ill b abit more open and she will listen. I dont have money to pay here but im not going to say that until im in the office in hope she wong kick me out straight away. Im not quite sure how she can help but im all out of ideas. My friends fully know now where im at right now and ive heard very little from them. Its changes friendships knowing that they arent there for me, it makes me feel more alone than usual. Anyway just another rant.
-
My friends fully know now where im at right now and ive heard very little from them. Its changes friendships knowing that they arent there for me, it makes me feel more alone than usual.
Ditto, it really hurts - sorry to hear you have the same thing.
We're here for you though. Stay strong.