Depression Forums

Depression Related Forums => Depression Central => Topic started by: mamalou on May 17, 2012, 11:00:20 AM

Title: Suicidal thoughts.
Post by: mamalou on May 17, 2012, 11:00:20 AM
I am having very intense suicidal thoughts. I can't seem to get hold of anyone to talk to as all the MH services have changed.

When asked, by the receptionist,  " are you in crisis ?" I didn't know what to say. Am I ? Shame my depression doesn't take annual leave or go on a training course like my care co-ordinator.

I am feeling totally disabled today.
Title: Re: Suicidal thoughts.
Post by: Buttercup on May 17, 2012, 11:05:44 AM
If you're having intense suicidal thoughts I would say that you are in crisis.

Do you think you might act on them? 
Title: Re: Suicidal thoughts.
Post by: mamalou on May 17, 2012, 11:09:43 AM
I don't know. I'm really exhausted. I am totally disconnected so don't have any feelings.
I don't know.
Title: Re: Suicidal thoughts.
Post by: Buttercup on May 17, 2012, 11:14:32 AM
If there's any doubt in your mind as to whether or not you would act you need to phone them back and tell the receptionist that you are in crisis. She should sort out the rest for you.

Take care xxx
Title: Re: Suicidal thoughts.
Post by: Zaf on May 17, 2012, 11:22:23 AM
I would too, feeling suicidal needs urgent action

Z xx
Title: Re: Suicidal thoughts.
Post by: mamalou on May 17, 2012, 11:31:41 AM
Thanks x
Title: Re: Suicidal thoughts.
Post by: Sweetpea on May 17, 2012, 12:27:42 PM
I agree if you feel like this you should contact them again.

S x x x x
Title: Re: Suicidal thoughts.
Post by: Beetzart on May 17, 2012, 12:36:55 PM
Mamalou, can you get to A and E, if possible?
Title: Re: Suicidal thoughts.
Post by: mamalou on May 17, 2012, 01:06:48 PM
I have a big issue with the fact I believe I don't deserve any help. It's holding me back from asking for help.

Title: Re: Suicidal thoughts.
Post by: Buttercup on May 17, 2012, 01:11:13 PM
I really think you should ask for help, it's just the illness that's telling you that you don't deserve it.

Xxx
Title: Re: Suicidal thoughts.
Post by: Zaf on May 17, 2012, 01:13:42 PM
I agree, dont let the illness win by doing that

Z xx
Title: Re: Suicidal thoughts.
Post by: KateG on May 17, 2012, 01:18:57 PM
I agree with the others, you are in crisis and you do deserve help &*(
Title: Re: Suicidal thoughts.
Post by: Beetzart on May 17, 2012, 01:32:27 PM
I get them thoughts all the time Mamalou.  But depression is a serious illness with horrific consequences if not treated, of course you know that.  If I was to fall down my stairs and break a leg I wouldn't hesitate in calling an ambulance and going to hospital, so why should asking for help with suicidal thoughts be any different?  Like others have said this disease takes over your mind like an infection of thought.

Title: Re: Suicidal thoughts.
Post by: Sweetpea on May 17, 2012, 03:09:21 PM
 &*( for you.  You are ill and you deserve help.  I think we all feel this way so you are not alone.

S x x x x
Title: Re: Suicidal thoughts.
Post by: mamalou on May 17, 2012, 07:03:44 PM
Just been to see my GP at the end of surgery. He was really kind. Nothing's changed but at least someone knows - he wants me to go back tomorrow and he is going to call the AMH team first thing to get me some crisis care. Thanks so much to all who replied today - it kept me away from my bag of drugs for a while. Just got to get through tonight.  :'(
Title: Re: Suicidal thoughts.
Post by: Buttercup on May 17, 2012, 07:11:15 PM
Really pleased that you went and something is being done.  &*( &*(
Title: Re: Suicidal thoughts.
Post by: Zaf on May 17, 2012, 07:14:26 PM
Me too, if you get really bad during the night please phone your out of hours service, the samarians or get to A&E

Z xxx
Title: Re: Suicidal thoughts.
Post by: Sweetpea on May 17, 2012, 08:26:59 PM
Thats good to hear at least something is being done for you.  As Zaf has already said ring the Samaritans or go to A & E if needed in the night.

Thinking of you

S x x x x
Title: Re: Suicidal thoughts.
Post by: Got on May 17, 2012, 09:28:46 PM
Hello.

I am worried about you.

I hope you are ok and that you get the help you need.

Have you got the crises number? You can ring them when you are experiencing suicidal feelings. I have been where you are now. Please do how and and do ring the crises team when you need to. You will be glad in the future that you didn't commit suicide.

Steve X
Title: Re: Suicidal thoughts.
Post by: mamalou on May 18, 2012, 01:15:31 PM
I don't deserve any of this kindness.

My head hurts and I am hiding under the blankets hoping the world will melt away. I haven't got the wherewithall to get out. Still waiting for crisis people to call. Waiting and waiting. I think they have forgotten me.

My thoughts are all consuming. I have plans in place to end my life, but am resisting the urge at the moment.

Seeing my GP again this afternoon. Just have to get there.

Thank you for being here - it's helping to keep me safe.

Title: Re: Suicidal thoughts.
Post by: Zaf on May 18, 2012, 01:17:26 PM
Everyone deserves support and thats what this wonderful forum gives us, please do go to the doctor and be very honest about your suicidal thoughts

Z xxx
Title: Re: Suicidal thoughts.
Post by: Buttercup on May 18, 2012, 01:56:22 PM
As Zaf says, everyone deserves support. 

I also think it's disgusting that the Crisis team hasn't contacted you yet.  Hope the doctor gives you more support later. xxx
Title: Re: Suicidal thoughts.
Post by: Sweetpea on May 18, 2012, 02:49:09 PM
 &*(  for you.  Its terrible that the crisis team have not contacted you, I mean they are a Crisis team.  Hope you get help at the dr's as Zaf says be honest with them.

Take care


S  x x x x
Title: Re: Suicidal thoughts.
Post by: Got on May 18, 2012, 03:47:57 PM
The fact that you have a plan is very worrying indeed. How you told others that you have a plan?

I understand how you feel. I have been exactly where you are now. The all consuming thoughts do not last, you begin to feel better again and then you will be happy that you are alive.

The idea that you do not deserve help in a perception, and this perception is temporary and also will change.

There is also the option of A and E.

Please seek help.

Love Steve XX
Title: Re: Suicidal thoughts.
Post by: Ohdaddy on May 18, 2012, 04:22:22 PM
please hang on in there - don't let the illness beat you.   Whenever something goes wrong or I feel uncomfortable about something these days I feel so incapable of dealing with it that I have thoughts of ending my life. And although I have had long periods like this these days those feelings may only last a few hours or so.   It will pass - don't give up.

Internet Hugs
 ^&^
Title: Re: Suicidal thoughts.
Post by: mamalou on May 18, 2012, 07:53:32 PM
No call from the crisis team.  A call from someone who persuaded me that I didn't need crisis support over the weekend  ????????? Oh dear !
 
Now just wanting to be drunk to hope it goes away. But the wines not helping. I'm lower and lower.

My GP was lovely - very understanding - but I'm not how sure how honest I'm able to be ?!

Thanks all. Support is appreciated. x

Title: Re: Suicidal thoughts.
Post by: Zaf on May 18, 2012, 08:02:19 PM
Thats really not good enough  >:( 

If you feel ad over the weekend do please phone your out of hours doctor

Z xx
Title: Re: Suicidal thoughts.
Post by: Buttercup on May 18, 2012, 08:14:16 PM
Totally agree with Zaf.

Xxx
Title: Re: Suicidal thoughts.
Post by: Sweetpea on May 18, 2012, 08:43:08 PM
I agree to, please call out of hours dr or go to A & E if you feel bad.

Thinking of you & take care

S x x x x
Title: Re: Suicidal thoughts.
Post by: CharleysAngel' on May 18, 2012, 08:56:02 PM
Really feel for you mamalou, I agree with the others that if you do feel really bad then call our out of hours doctor or go to A and E, don't wait xx

Take care xxx
Title: Re: Suicidal thoughts.
Post by: Got on May 18, 2012, 09:27:13 PM

If you continue with these suicidal impulses, please try the A&E.

Please do not drink anymore wine, it will make you feel more depressed and can make you impulsive.

Steven
Title: Re: Suicidal thoughts.
Post by: mamalou on May 19, 2012, 02:43:08 PM
You are so kind.

I am still alive but in a bad way. I'm not sure anyone here can understand what's going on. 
Title: Re: Suicidal thoughts.
Post by: Zaf on May 19, 2012, 03:04:48 PM
We may not understand but we care and will help if we can, please do call your out of hours surgery, the samaritans or get to A&E

Z xxx
Title: Re: Suicidal thoughts.
Post by: mamalou on May 19, 2012, 04:27:52 PM
Sorry crossed wires - I meant here at home - here online I know I am among friends. x x x
Title: Re: Suicidal thoughts.
Post by: Zaf on May 19, 2012, 04:38:29 PM
&*(

Z xx
Title: Re: Suicidal thoughts.
Post by: Sweetpea on May 19, 2012, 05:16:48 PM
 &*( you are among friends here.  We understand.

S x x x x