Depression Forums
Depression Related Forums => Depression Central => Topic started by: hybridtoy on April 16, 2012, 08:59:40 PM
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Hey guys. I haven't posted on here in a long time and feel like discussing a few things.
Firstly, for anyone reading this who I used to have chats with, I'm a lot better now that I have a stable job. My brain is being used rather than turning to mush. The first 4 or 5 weeks were hell. Not only is it something im not interested in but the training was just horrendous. Coming home and being isolated in my room and then doing the same tremendously boring training the following day was just awful but i got through it. Even though it made me feel like i was going to have a mental breakdown.
The only thing now is that I feel like im floating along. I can deal with the day to day things a bit easier, but its made me realise why i get depressed all along. Im not doing anything that makes me want to get through the day and i dont have access to be able to do anything that i like.
My best friend got back from India a couple of weeks ago and told me about all these amazing experiences he'd had and it made me feel pathetic. The main reason i think about suicide is because i dont want to reach 30 and still feel this way. So i want to end it all before i can possibly reach that.
I finally have an option though, quit my job and go travelling once ive saved money up from the job or move to bristol which is where my best mate is going to move into... Feel like i may finally be getting somewhere but at the same time i dont wnat to get my hopes up because i have been dashed so many times and i just cant take that anymore.
dont want to be wasting everyday anymore like i feel like ive been doing for nearly two years now... anyone else feel really bad that they're wasting they're time by struggling through everyday?
Sorry that this is so casually written... i just had a lot of stuff built up that i just wanted to blurt out.
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I often feel this illness is taking my life away but not sure if thats the same thing
Z x
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I often feel frustrated with myself because of how long I seem to have been struggiling through this. It all dates back to around the start of 2010 and getting married, thinking of having children etc has all had to be put on hold... I feel I should be enjoying my mid/late twenties, not dealing with depression and anxiety everyday x
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Hi the trouble is you have come out the other side we are still stuck here, i do think about my life everyday before this all struck and so want to be like that again, i can not find how to move on, i am glad you have moved on with your life and you have purpose again keep going and hopefully one day we will all be where you are.
good luck LR