Depression Forums
Depression Related Forums => Depression Central => Topic started by: willows on April 08, 2012, 09:22:41 PM
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I feel so alone a lot of the time and yet I find myself isolating myself from people because I don't want them to know how I am feeling if that makes any sense. I am 46 years old and have been struggling with depression for at least the last year (probably longer) but only sort help very recently and I am now on medication and just starting counselling. My mum has recently moved to a new house and keeps asking me to visit her......she is inviting me by text because I have been avoiding answering the phone to her and I keep making excuses by text as to why I can't visit at the moment. I just don't want her to know how desperately low I am.....we have never had a great relationship and I don't want her to know much of a failure I am and what a mess I have made of everything. My mum left home when I was 12 after she tried to commit suicide twice, and I didn't see her until I was 25 and I always want her to think that I got along fine without her and that I made a success of my life without her. 20 years on I don't want her to see me not coping with life but by cutting myself off from my mum I have also been avoiding my younger brother, who I have always had a close relationship with, so he doesn't find out about my depression and tell my mum....not very rational but that is how it is. I don't have a partner or many close friends so I really am being my own worst enemy isolating myself from my family but I just can't help myself........
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I can relate to your post. Social situations are hard as is pretending that everything is fine when seeing others.
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I can also understand its very difficult to hide how we feel in front of others.
Take care
S x
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I know exactly how it feels too :(
Z xx
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i can relate to this a lot...
i dont meet up with anyone at all apart from family and medical people. the only people i 'talk' to are online or via text and even then i often ignore the messages. i have found this forum helps with isolation as you can just read peoples posts and feel like your having the convo with them even if your not replying.
if you want to chat feel free to PM me :) sometimes its easier to chat to someone who is going through the same sort of thing
xx