Depression Forums
Depression Related Forums => Depression Central => Topic started by: mrmoody on April 08, 2012, 12:29:19 PM
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i just cant. i dont know how much longer i can go on like this. this is a living hell
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For you &*( &*(
Has anything happened to make you feel like this?
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&*( &*( Alex, things will be ok. Just hang in there.
S x
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Hang in there
Z xxx
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You are going through an awful lot mate.
It is going to take you a while to adjust, and it also seems like you have the propensity to become depressed.
However, the current awfulness of your situation is not permenant, even though it feels as though it is. You will feel better at some point, but you are going to have to work through your thoughts and feeling first.
Perhaps you could identify some of your more negative perceptions about yourself, and write them down here, or if you feel umcomfortuable doing this, get a referal to a counsellor or CBT and discuss them with him, her.
I do beleive for your situation, a combination of both medication and a talkingtherapy is best, because you are not only feeling very depressed, you have a difficult situation to deal with also.
Steve
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i am just so alone. i met up with a friend here that i havent seen in 4 years but even then i still felt so alone. i have lost everything. now my ex is over me already and with someone new and playing happy families with my kids with a new fella. i am in a town i know well but even though its busy out there i feel so very lonely and hated and unloveable. i just wish at least my family would talk to me again. i just dont know what to do.
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There are ways forward, and you can over come this. It will take a while, but it can be done.
Firstly, you have been sensible by going to the doctors and getting medication. Like I said, because you have all this crap to deal with as well, CBT and counselling would probably help you, so why not ask fro a referal from your GP?
regarding the kids....it sounds awfully stressful. As long as you are a safe adult, she has no legal right to deny you of your children, or to deny your children of you. I doubt she as changed there name already like she said, as this isn;t legal either.
To suddenly bring a new man in their life does sound like intelligent parenting skills to me. Have you asked for access to the children? Has she tried to deny it? I am assuming here you are the biological father.
Steve
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she has denied me access and brought up all my bad points when my solicitor wrote to her, including my self harm from years ago, accussing me of using drugs, having alcohol problems and threatening suicide. yes I am their father and on both birth certificates also. did you mean it doesnt rather than does sound like responsible parenting? I mean if this new guy is just a rebound guy or being used to hurt me what good is that doing my children? what if it only last 6 months or a year? what then she gets another guy? why cant I just be allowed to see my kids.
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i mean has it been done just to spite me? I mean 6 weeks ago she was going on and on about never wanting to be in a relationship again and wanting to stay single. within 2 weeks she not only changed her mind but was with someone in a supposedly "vert serious" relationship
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everytime I see young children it just tears my heart out
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I mean it does no sound like resposible parenting on her behalf, bringing in a new man into her childrens liffe so soon. claming it is a very seriousl relationships after only a couple of months.
Seems to me like you need access to your kids in order to be happy.
You have a legal right to be part of their life. You can always deny drug use, as long has she cannot provide evidence. Self halming was in the past, and besides, it isnt ground for you not seeing your children.
You need to speak to your solicitor about this, and get your children back into your life. As long as you are a safe adult, you have a right to see your children, and she should not be messing with them in this way in order to hurt you.
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there was no drug use and self harming was 14 years ago. I just cant understand how someone goes from adamently not wanting to be in a relationship to within 3 weeks being in a serious relationship? someone told me that could be possible but it sounds like bull! I only know from looking at her facebook to see if its true but a part of me thinks she jumped into this relationship to get back at me
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The reason for so suddenly jumping into a relatioship is her insecurity. She may need to be in a secure relationship, or she may need to show the world she is fine and coping well. Either way, this shows poor parenting skills and a lack of maturity.
I do not know your situation, but from your account of events, by denying her childeren of their father, this is also poor parenting.
You claim she has lied about drug use. If she is having to lie, what solid grounds does she have for denying access? Past self harming is not a good cause for you not to see your kids.
If this ended up in courts, you already are able to make a case for her lack of intelligent judgement, as she has jumped readily into another relationship, claming it serious after only a number of weeks and introducing this man into your childrens life. A judge would look down upon this kind of behaviour, and it wouldnt be difficult for a solicitor to make a case for her having poor parenting skills.
What genuine reasons can you think of why she has a right to deny you of your children, and deny children of their father?
You have a legal right
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yes I think its shows a lack of emotional maturity. She could have had her relationship but still let me see my daughters as well. The fact of the matter is that the whole time she has supposedly been in a very serious relationship she was cyber stalking me on another depression forum( I can verify this now and its not me being paranoid). I dont understand this behaviour but it tells me she hasnt let go of a lot of things like she makes out she has. I think also she jumped into a new relationship to tell me that she is loveable and attractive and "ok" and I am just worthless crap that no-one wants. But she forgets that there are two young children in all this
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You are understandably very annoyed with her. Unfortuantly, you cant stop her acting this way. It is obviously hurting you, but there is little you can do to stop her acting this way, all you can do is challenge the way you deal with it.
However, as fasr as the children are concerned, this is a very serious matter. If she continues to refuse, you need to take her to court. This will be stressful, but as long as your story holds, you well get access to your kids.
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You will always be your children's dad, and no-one can take that away from you.
hang in there
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Hang it will be okay
Sent from my Radar C110e using Board Express
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its all I can do is hang on and I am hanging on for dear life. its just so bloody painful right now and I dont know what to do. I dont feel like their father thats for sure. and by her getting a new guy all of sudden it has pushed me out even further
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Try and hang on, things won't always be this way. Xxx
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&*( Alex, you will always be their dad. Can you ring them? Or would that be to painful for you.
S x
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no she wont allow a thing like that. besides they are too young, one girl is 9 months old. I did skype my eldest for awhile back in Sept/Oct but then she stopped that too making excuses every time I wanted to skype
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This is just crazy, you are their dad and you have rights. You have to keep notes about all of this so you can use this when you get to take this further.
&*( for you.
S x
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I agree with shaz, its your right to see them and you need to keep records in case it gets to court
Z xx