Depression Forums
Depression Related Forums => Depression Central => Topic started by: rustee2011 on March 18, 2012, 06:00:49 PM
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I just got an email from a friend dramatizing regarding my depression. Basically, nothing positive in it
The last thing I need or want to hear is doom and gloom right now......SOME FOLKS JUST DON'T GET IT PERIOD.
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I'm with you there......
I know I've been really lucky with my friends and family as they've all been pretty supportive. Until I had to deal with it myself I never truely understood that you couldn't just 'get over it'.
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My friends don't get it either, I know my closest friend thinks that I am 'milking' it, which actually makes me feel quite hurt because she should know more than anyone how I feel as she spends so much time with me.
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I think it takes a very special person to understand it without going through it.
My MIL suffers terribly with depression, I remember years ago we went to visit and she wouldn't leave her bedroom for the first hour. I just thought she was 'milking it' because I just didn't get it. It's the one BIG thing that I will take forward from this, because I totally get it now
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I agree with desperado, I think people that havent suffered with depression themselves really have no idea what we go through, even if they try their hardest to help :(
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I agree with you both. My head of house treats me so differently to my parents and my friends, I know that she understands better than they do. She told me that she had suffered depression in the past so I guess that's why.
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Its awful when people don't understand, even if they don't understand you think people would realise we would not CHOOSE to be like this. I am very lucky as my family and friends understand and are very supportive of me. Would be much harder if they were not.
S x
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I find I only talk about depression with people who 'get it' which doesn't include my family as they are in denial that I suffer with it.
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My stepdad told me all I needed to do was give myself a shake, after I told my mum I was bipolar!
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My mum thinks I should be "fine by now" and can't see why I still find it difficult to get up and go outside. I wish she would leave me to take things at my own pace but she just keeps pushing all the time.
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&*( its awful when people tell us to give our selves a shake and similar comments, I always say if only we could >:(.
S x
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I recently had a friend ask me to come off the medication and to try changing my mood by changing my perspective of life, to turn a negative into a positive. I know that he was only trying to help but it did anger me at first. I tried to explain that I need the medication to lift my mood before I can start changing my perspective. He still went on for over an hour, giving me examples of how I could start seeing the brighter side of life. Its really not his fault, although a close friend of mine, I still can't bring myself to tell him that I have 'dark thoughts' and uncontrollably blurt out 'I hate myself' numerous times a day. It's not something that anyone would want to think/say, given the chance!
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People try to understand others by using their own emotional experience as a reference, that is quite natural. So, it is difficult for those who have not experienced depression to comprehend depression in others, as they think what you are experiencing is their own comprehension of sadness.
I tend to go easy on people who don t get it, as really, it isn't their fault. I have been openly mocked a time or two, in which case I've been reasonably angry.
Steve
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This same friend recommended i go for an MRI scan to check if I really am clinically depressed......He forgot he told me last year that people who are clinically depressed have brain damage. He seems to think that a lot of the stuff are just theories and not fact. He was lambasting CBT until I told him that some aspects of CBT practice mindfulness, then he relented. I am seriously thinking of cutting him off. This morning I feel quite anxious, due to our conversation. I am sure that the reason I feel this way is that when I get a severe bout childhood fears come up. As I was told that is deeper level stuff. It doesn't help when he said it's part of your psyche. Do you know what he told me some time ago........Those strange thoughts you have STOP THEM OTHERWISE THEY BECOME PART OF YOU!!!!!
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I'm not surprised you're angry rustee. I have had people misunderstand my illness but I've never endured comments like those >:(
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I have figured it out. That is the case when you get people who try to shoot down your self-confidence. unfortunately, that friend of mine is one of those people. I think he likes the idea of people calling him, it provides a needy like effect. Although he will deny this of course. The reason I say that is because when I try to help people the last thing I do is shoot down their believes and opinions, especially when they feel down and quite vulnerable.
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thats absolutely terrible, it just shows how little some people understand our illness which, as you say, doesnt help us one little bit :(
Z xx