Depression Forums
Depression Related Forums => Depression Central => Topic started by: Lol on December 31, 2011, 05:47:02 PM
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Hi All it's me again ::)
Do you believe there is a connection between reckless behaviour and depression?
If so what are your views on why people behave recklessly when they are depressed?
Why would a person flaunt the reckless behaviour or the products of it for others to see?
(To some this is obvious, to others not so, so please bare with me :))
Thank you for your help. Lol
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A month or two ago I think I wrote somewhere in here that I was concerned that although I didnt feel suicidal, iI had felt that death would be welcome, from what I can remember I had thought of going for a walk in the woods and then I had a little conversation with myself saying it wouldnt be a good idea to go because it was windy and there was a chance of a branch falling on me and then the other voice saying what did it matter as it might nice being dead.
Not quite the same as being deliberately reckless but I think possibly going along those lines.
I certainly didnt advertise my feelings to others and I did wonder whether or not to post it in here but I could see it possible for someone to flaunt it for others to see for several reasons
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yes im fairly sure there is. actually im 100% sure there is
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Yeah, I certainly think there is. Whether its connected to the feeling of numbness that so often comes with depression I don't know... but I've quite often found myself being completley unaware of the danger involved in things I have done.
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Thanks Zaf, what several reasons are you thinking of?
Thanks Cornish, why are you 100% sure there is?
Thanks Munch, nice to have you back :) why do you think it would be connected to numbness and were you actually unaware of danger or secretly aware of it?
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Possibly we feel like we are so numb we can't feel any emotion - and I guess the sense of danger falls into that. I've done things like place my entire hand face down onto an electric hob to see if it was on, without even thinking and only in that split second afterwards seen the danger. Perhaps there has been times when using a razor/knife etc when I have been secretly aware of what would happen if I 'slipped' and yet have continued to anyway, maybe in a way its allowing myself to self harm wihout the guilt that comes with it.
I did have this conversation with my doctor a few weeks ago - before I went to see him I had caught my hand on the iron and I asked him if he thought I could be doing things like this subconcously. He said no - he would just put it down to being exhausted and possibly a little clumsy (I can't deny that I am incredibly clumsy at times!) I'm not convinced though...
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These are only my theories and have no medical basis lol and I think it also would depend if the person in question was showing the behaviour and/or the results to everyone or only a few people or to only one person
1. Not being able to admit the depression to themselves and/or others but allowing the recklessness and/or injuries to do the talking for them so to speak.
2. Being ashamed of the depression or some of the behaviour it has caused and trying to show this without being able to apologise or possibly even admit it openly.
3. Trying to shock people for some reason.
I have thought about the possibility of doing it to get rid of numb feelings but I think most people that do it for that reason hide the evidence rather than flaunt it
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thanks so much for your honesty Munchroom. I find this "maybe in a way its allowing myself to self harm wihout the guilt that comes with it." particularly interesting.
I understand the concept of releasing/expressing the turmoil from within re self harm, but, from my limited experience (sorry if I'm sounding like a complete twonk guys) the sufferer has largely hidden it afterwards, which is understandable. But, if the person goes out of their way to deliberately accentuate it and make sure its seen, convenient excuses aside, is it a simple cry for help or more complex than that do you think?
(I am aware that this is a debate, I'm not taking everything you say as gospel, just need opinions)
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Thanks so much Zaf they are eye-opening opinions and very important to me thanks for sharing your thoughts on this. Do you mean point #2 as in self punishment?
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I wouldn't say I've ever really flaunted my self harm. I always do it where it can't be seen by people - although I'm very aware that Chris will see it wherever I choose to do it and it can't always be passed off as an 'accident' (even being as clumsly am I am!) I find that when I do self-harm, it is for me and not any sort of cry for help. Its trying to get all of the turmoil I'm feeling OUT.... doesn't really make any sense when its discussed in a logical mindset and I guess in a way it would make more sense if it was somewhere people could see because then it would be more of a cry for help....
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Thanks so much Zaf they are eye-opening opinions and very important to me thanks for sharing your thoughts on this. Do you mean point #2 as in self punishment?
Only partly lol, also partly to gain attention although I'd think different people might be doing it for more of one reason than another if that makes sense?
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Yes it makes sense Zaf thank you
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Interesting topic. After my father died, which is when the depression really kicked in I bought a motorbike. Always thought them to be dangerous and never really liked them. At the time I thought I was beng rebelious or having a early midlife crisis. If I am honest I kind of liked the risk involved and often thought that if I were to have an accident then many of my problems would solved.
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I wouldn't say I've ever really flaunted my self harm. I always do it where it can't be seen by people - although I'm very aware that Chris will see it wherever I choose to do it and it can't always be passed off as an 'accident' (even being as clumsly am I am!) I find that when I do self-harm, it is for me and not any sort of cry for help. Its trying to get all of the turmoil I'm feeling OUT.... doesn't really make any sense when its discussed in a logical mindset and I guess in a way it would make more sense if it was somewhere people could see because then it would be more of a cry for help....
No far from it it makes total sense! Self harm does seem like a personal thing, it wouldn't necessarily make any more sense for it to be a cry for help, because, as I understand it, self harm is normally personal and releaving, necessary even, not a cry for help?...
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Dobbie it is a bit of an eye opener isn't it? there are obviously many reasons why an element of risk and recklessness manifests in all of us, I'm interested in the personal knowledge of what one is consciously or subconsciously doing, versus the public flaunting of the behaviour and the reasons behind this. I think what I might be asking is.. how do you know if it's true self harm? I think I'm thinking, if it were true it would be hidden and if it were a cry for help it would be flaunted maybe?
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Lol, I think in the past when I have self harmed I have always done it where I know I would be found out. I know that from my point of view it has always been a cry for help. So from what you are saying is that it is not true self harm. I think this is a difficult one and I know that I always regret what I have done in the past.
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&$%+ now you say it like that I think I've said it wrong. This is such a complex debate,.. Of course you harmed yourself, so you self harmed, so when I said true self harm I phrased that really clumsily. (and might have caused offence..sorry!). I'm thinking off the top of my head and I guess I don't really know what I'm saying.
I think what I might have been trying to say is,, well I dunno.. um.. is there a clinical differentiation between self harm for the gain of release, and self harm for the gain of attention?
What you did was of course self harm, I didn't mean to belittle it in any way, not quite what I meant sorry :-\, could you explain, if it's not too personal and painful or even triggering for you, what your thought process was when you self harmed specifically for the gain of attention? what made you do it (emotionally not necessarily circumstancially) and what specifically did you hope might be the result?
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No your okay, I am not offended. Do find it embarrassing more than anything. I don't really know why I have done these things in the past. Like I said it was more a cry for help. I think that my thought process at the time revolved around someone pitying me and then helping me overcome the depression. Of course this was never the outcome and all I did was scare and worry those around me. Looking back, these have always been very distressing times both emotionally and physically. Bad times.
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Yes I understand. Whatever times have lead to these self expressions are never good times. You have done very well to come through them. You must think of those experiences as flags of dispair which you have sucessfully overcome. Well done.
How do you mean "my thought process at the time revolved around someone pitying me and then helping me overcome the depression" do you mean this some one was the calalyst to your self harm because they were pitying you and then helping you? or you wanted some one to pity you and then help you?
thank you for your understanding.
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Yeah, I kind of wanted people to pity me and then help me. I thought that people would want to help me and feel the need to do so. If anything this ideaology backfired, friends turned their back on me. I imagine that I freaked them out quite a lot. Even my wife called me selfish. As for the catalyst, I'm not too sure. I just felt so helpless and alone I suppose I just wanted support, or someone to understand. I think people do have a problem understanding self harm, as it is really not discussed in society, it's often just swepted under the carpet so to speak.
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Yes it is isn't it. You have really helped me thank you. If that has left you with some uncomfortable memories I'm really sorry, but sharing that has helped me and may have helped many many people also. Thank you very much. :)
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No problem, it kind of helps me to talk about it and if helps others to know that they are not alone then even better.
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many reasons. wont go into most of them but one of them is due to my overworking i earned a far bit, bearing in mind im an electrician and have specialist skills so i do well for my self. i also had a lot of saving before all of this. but now if i look into my bank account well its scary how little there is in there. i know a lot has gone into private treatment and a huge amount on medication but the majority i have no idea what ive done with it.
also when i still had my soarer and had it repaired after the accident that caused all of this i was doing some VERY reckless things on the road and got into a LOT of trouble with the police, at one point i was banned from driving when it was dark and couldn't go into plymouth for a little while. bearing in mind it was a 400 hp car and im a fairly good driver (had a motorsport license, and the test for that is bloody hard) i was intensionally getting into police chases and getting away from them.
its not something im proud of and i do deeply regret it now, i really didn't enjoy doing it at the time but i had to get rid of the car somehow, then a bit of ice while i was being sensible did that for me.
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Did you have depression before all that happened to you then Cornish?
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no i have no history before the first car accident where the idiot crashed into me and caused all of this. its all from a mild form of brain damage and severe P.T.S.D. that then caused all of the problems i suffer from now.
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I see, so I'm not sure I'm getting you, are you saying that spending is part of your self harming, or you were out in your soarer doing reckless things after your accident as a result of your afflictions?
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spending so much is just reckless. yeah i was basically driving like an idiot after the accident, to try and get banned, have the car taken off me or end up dead. then when i was being sensible just driving home one night the car slipped on black ice. i basically told the insurance company to crush it and i told everyone it was way beyond repair, even though it wasn't really ::) was a huge relief that the car was gone. looking back now i regret that a lot.
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I see. You needed that car gone and you needed an excuse to stop being reckless on the road. Thanks Cornish. That helps a lot Thank you.
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Good evening everyone,
not so reckless.
my condition CRPS in my lower back and legs which leaves me in pain 24/7 sometimes unable to walk most of the time i use a stick, it stems from a spinal injury, although i have no broken bones as such, i have disc problems as well, i am on
75 MG/PH fentanyl 80 times stronger than morphine, :o
Arcoxia 90mg
Trazadone hydrochloride 100mg
baclofen 10 mg
halapirdol 5 mg
daizapam 10 mg
omerprazole 20 mg
and all of the above do very little
so pain management is one of my hobbies,well there's a drug out there called
(http://i347.photobucket.com/albums/p451/mercmanuk/fentanylpop.jpg)
these are the dogs and can have me up and walking in 5 mins, the thing is i am not allowed them because i do not have cancer.
i have got some and they are fantastic, but do be warned never take them unless you have a Opiate tolerance of at least 50 Mc/ph they will kill you no question
anyway the reckless thing i did was to take one dissolve my pain and go shopping. :o i still can not remember it to this day and it was only last year, the day is a complete blank, that's the frightening part, but i walked and drove, just doing something normal for the family
LR
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Wow :o
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a few more facts
Most would be surprised to know that this fentanyl, which (thank goodness) is only available by prescription, is nonetheless a hundred times more potent than morphine and several times stronger than heroin.
The Duragesic fentanyl patch should only be used in a carefully controlled manner, and only prescribed to the people who can handle the stuff—in other words, individuals already conditioned against the rigors of opiates.
the risk is substantial. Even the wearing of a single patch for pain by someone not properly conditioned to opiate drugs poses significant risk, as there would to a caregiver who might handle the patch incorrectly.
This stuff is powerful, and not for everyone. The involvement of both an educated doctor, and patient is integral to a positive outcome when using the Duragesic fentanyl patch. One doctor, it has been reported, prescribed a Duragesic patch for someone who was complaining of a simple headache. Such misdirected use is a recipe for disaster. A lethal dose of fentanyl can stop your heart, and stop you breathing.
so i guess i am a little reckless every 72 hours
TBVH if i removed my patch after 72 hours where as it's no longer effective for me as it's tailing off a bit, and stuck the same patch on someone they could/would be dead in about 4 hours. never sleep next to me !!!!!!! after you have pissed me off. ;D
ohhh what a life
LR
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wow :o !!
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So in in 1 hour i take the equivalent of 75 Mc/Ph = about 6 mg of morphine every hour on the hour every day 365 you know the rest.
LR
Happy new Year everyone