Hi princess !"£
I also found depression very frustrating, wanting to get better but not seeming to be able to help myself. I also used to feel guilty a lot of the time, I didn't even know what for, just felt bad.
With regard to where you want to live, it is hard to make decisions when you're depressed. I was so worried about making a mistake I wouldn't decide anything, even the simplest things. Unfortunately though, decisions still have to be made. Where do you feel the most comfortable or able to get the most support, with your family or your boyfriend? Talk to them all, they may have a point of view you haven't considered, see if they can help you decide.
As for your family getting tired of you, they probably feel frustrated that they can't seem to help you; depression is very hard to deal with for the people around the depressed person, they can't understand exactly how it feels and they don't know how to handle it, as you say.
There are no easy answers I'm afraid. Hope you get started with your counselling soon, in the meantime you need to take care of yourself. Try to be good to yourself and to find things to be glad about, doesn't matter how small. And try to take it one day at a time.
Best wishes, bel
