Hi there,
I've never posted on an online forum but I am hoping it'll maybe help; it came highly recommended by a few folks.
Just my quick background. I suffer from depression and have since as far back as I can remember. Its the kind that sneaks up on me without realizing it until my brain is spinning. Sometimes I think I go into it because I am angry and was never allowed to express anger when I was a kid so never really learned how to cope with it to the point of not attempting to suprress. As I get older I do get better but the process has been a long one, a steady one but still long.
Lately, I really battle with horrible feelings after I get through telling people how I feel or think. Often times I feel that no one wants to hear what I have to say or think because of their reactions to me. Instead of saying thank you and incorporating my ideas they tend to point out the flaws or simply write a simple thanks but no way. Maybe its just my assumption that I don't matter and then their inability to work well with other folks, no clue. But for whatever the reason when it happens I get thrown back into the black hole where I think, why in the world did I speak up and then go through several hours or days depending on the situation where I question everything I say, do or think.
I've gone to college, highly educated. I've got several certificates professionally that all say I know what I am talking about but I still feel the world would rather I just shut up and go home. I would've thought all those would be validating; but I still feel useless.
So that's what on my mind today. Glad this exists. Thanks,
