worried in need of help

[petop86]

Hi cat thanks for your reply I came out of the army at 18 about a month after I tried to take my own life  the strange thing is I was put under special supervision for about a month but when they asked me why I did it I just said because I wanted out but I don't know why I did it I was happy in the army but I thought I would look stupid by saying I was suffering with depression. I am kind of hoping that I can have a normal life as possible by seeking help because I just can't see me lasting much longer like this. I have these distorted views on life it's weird. I just wish I could swap my life with someone who is terminally ill I don't want to be here I don't deserve to be and yet people who love life who deserve to be here are the ones who are terminally ill it just don't seem fair.

[Pip]

I know this will probably come across as flippant but it isn't meant to.  We have a friend who doesn't suffer with depression, he was a drug addict but has been clean for some time now.  He has a tendency to analyze things to the extent that he will over analyze.  It was just a thought that crossed my mind as he used to take illegal drugs whereas some of you are taking legal drugs and do the same.

[petop86]

Hi pip I have never done drugs I just over analyse things to a degree where it wrecks my life this is only a minor issue I have loads of problems I actually have a hatred towards drugs. I think the problem that holds me back the most is taking in a basic conversation I only take certain parts of what people say to me In I really have to focus and tell myself to listen because I struggle to take information my body is there my brain isn't.

[Catbrian]

Hi Terry

Listening to you is listening to myself.  Distorted views of life are not weird, they are our unique way of interpreting and helping us cope with our surroundings. No two people see the exact same object in the same way.  Your thoughts sound to me to be a product of depression.  I completely understand the reason you gave to the army for your suicide attempt.  Depression doesn't really exist in the army.  This is/was part of the problem with soldiers suffering Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and getting the help.

When I eventually went for help for how I was feeling, it was a relief to finally understand why I was having so many problems relating to life and living it to the full.  To know my "weird" thoughts were actually a symptom of mental health/depression, came as a great relief. At the same point, realising there were others suffering just like me found me the strength to move forward

[petop86]

Hi cat yeah that is a major problem in the army I think a lot of soldiers suffer without saying anything I know it took me a whilst to get used of civvie life and when I came out after I had tried to take my life I never spoke apart my army life and I never will I think something's are best left untouched however that is not the cause of my depression I had a good life in the army. Anyway today has been a good day the first day I have felt well for about a month or so I even treated myself to a pint first time I have been out the house for a whilst   0158

[Sweetpea]

It is often hard to adapt to life in civvy street after being in the forces. A lot of people find it hard.

Its good to hear that you had a good day yesterday, hope it continues for you.

Take care

S x x x x

[Catbrian]

Yes, I'm aware of the problems soldiers have adjusting to civie life.  I don't agree with war, but feel we should lay the red carpet out for those who serve our country, not only in a heroic performance, but with every support and funding they might need to live a normal life. I am utterly disgusted that the Government won't provide the best artificial limbs to amputees, or the best therapy services for those affected by what they have seen.

I understand what you're saying, that it isn't the army that made you depressed.  It might take you a while to work through exactly what is causing your mood to be so low. 

Pleased to hear you were feeling reasonably good yesterday and had a relaxing pint. I hope today feels the same

[petop86]

Hi again well today started off real bad I felt terrible didn't help the dog going crazy at the window cleaner lol. But the day has got better I have been offered an interview for a job I applied for that has picked my mood up a bit. I will book to go and see the doctor Monday and ask for some help. I don't know if anyone can answer this but if I get put on meds how will I get on driving because if I get this job I will be driving for a living and I wasn't sure if you could still drive on certain meds. Once again thanks for all the great advice I have received and I am really looking forward to going to the doctors now I bet your all sick of me keep going on so I will try and make any posts as light hearted as possible.

[Catbrian]

You can drive on antidepressants but only if they are not causing your reactions to be slower
or blurred.  Usually the side effects of antidepressants subside after 2-3-4 weeks, for some it might take longer, for others no time at all.  I always take my antidepressant before bed and I find it cuts down on feeling most of the minor side effects.  Of course, sometimes certain antidepressants (AD's), just don't suit people and it can be a bit of trial and error over a period of weeks.  In general, I found the AD "Citalopram" works well and is  low in side effects.  There are many other people on the forum who are on it.  You could suggest to the GP that you try that specific one, if any at all.  I know your fears and it is true that some people prefer not to use meds.  The trouble is, once you're on them for a while, you cannot suddenly stop and must reduce slowly under GP supervision.

I'm pleased to hear you're going to speak to the GP.  These days, there's no need to suffer in silence

[Sweetpea]

Its so good to hear you are going to see your Dr on Monday. Good luck on your job interview, I do hope it goes well.

As far as I know you can drive whilst taking anti depressants, I have never had a problem.  But as Cat has already said meds affect people differently.

We are certainly not sick of your posts, its the lovely thing about this forum, we all know what its like to feel low.

Oh and one of my dogs hates the window cleaner as well  :bgrin:.

S x x x x

[Michael Frankum]

I'm glad that things are going so well. I hope that the job interview is succesful. You never need to think about censoring your posts. We are all here for the good times and the bad. Best wishes Terry.  0158  Michael.

[stewart]

Citalopram worked well for me for several years, with no bad side effects only had to change it because of another med started on.

hope the interview goes well for you

[athens1982]

Just want to say have a friend who has been on Citlopram and finds it very helpful. My doctor put me on to Fluoxtine(Prosac and did find a lot of side effects)So fight your right if you need to drive. All the best.

[petop86]

Hi thanks for all the kind messages I've had a terrible weekend I have barely seen the light of day had my curtains shut and avoided the world lol apart from letting the dog out I think he's becoming a recluse too lol. When you get put on meds do you have more energy and a better life or do they just space you out or something I haven't got a clue and I don't know how they are going to make me better surely they can't make me think straight and give me loads of energy. Will they improve my concentration levels so I can listen to a conversation without having to try like hell to take it in.How will I know if the meds are working when I get them if I don't know what there supposed to do. I dunno my brains going at a 1000 mph again just ignore my rambling. 004

[Sweetpea]

I do feel for you as I have been where you are, medication did help me, but it can take a couple of weeks to start to see an improvement, for me it was very gradual, I remember singing along to a CD in the car, just a subtle thing but something I had not done in a while.

S x x x x