Hi Everyone

[Zaf]

They think its for the best, its not a reflection on your capabilities but your health

Z xx

[Sweetpea]

I am sure they are doing this because they are worried for you.

S x x

[admin]

I agree with the others and I'm sure it's just because they are concerned about you and just want to help ease any pressure on you.

[willows]

Thank you for all your replies and I understand what you are all saying but I feel as though everything is slipping out of my control and just at a point where I thought I might be beginning to see light at the end of the tunnel. If it is for my own good then why does it feel so wrong for me.

I know no one can answer that for me..........

[Sweetpea]

Its very hard when depression takes things away from us and makes us feel out of control.  But you need time to heal, it took me a long time to realise this.

S x x

[louise]

Hi, I'm new.

I could do with some extra support at the moment as I have a depression that tends to floor me on bad days.  I'll read the forum and get the lay of the land. Just wanted to say hellp  *(*

[Zaf]

H Louise :)


Willows, trying to stay in control made my depression much much worse, in fact it probably contributed to it in the first place, even after 10 months and some brilliant counselling I know I need to step back even further from the feeling of needing to be in control which I'm finding incredibly difficult

Z xx

[Simon123]

Hi, Try and hang in there until the meeting.  It will be here before you know it.

I think your work have done it so that you can be back to your best as soon as possible because they need you.  It shows a great deal of understanding on their part because a lot of places might just let your work deteriorate until they have to let you go.  Your work want you to make it through and are trying to give you the space to do that.  Unfortunately the black clouds that surround us depressives don't always let that sort of info through.

Try and look at it as an opportunity to recharge as opposed to a threat to your working life.  Meditation is a funny thing; you sit back and cancel out everything and the result is that you come back feeling revitalised.  Think of your reduced duties as work meditation and you will come back stronger when the time is right.

I hope you feel better soon.

[willows]

Thank you all for your words of support. I have made it in to work, although I am still struggling to accept the restrictions that have been imposed on me. I feel like I am spending every waking moment feeling stressed and upset about it. I know I need to stop using up my energy in this way and focus on proving that I am capable of working my full hours and normal shifts but it is very difficult...........no one seems to be listening to me when I try to explain why I don't need this

[DarylR]

its hard willows but mayb it will be a good thing so u can be given more duties as time goes on, i know its easier said than done though

[willows]

I had a review meeting with my Occupational Help unit and they have agreed that reduced hours are not what I need and I will be back up to full hours and shifts within 2 weeks. It felt good that someone was finally listening to me and it was a relief but because of the way my mind is working at the moment I have now got myself totally anxious that my manager will feel that I have undermined her by getting OHU to agree with me that the restrictions she imposed on me were wrong for me. I feel that she will be watching me like a hawk to find reasons to justify why she did it..........why can't I just be happy that I got what I wanted. I feel under so much pressure............

[Buttercup]

I'm glad you got what you wanted, I'm sure things will settle down.

Xxx

[Sweetpea]

Its good that you have got your hours back.  I can understand your concerns but you did it for you.

S x x x x

[willows]

I have been on mirtazipine for nearly 3 months now and have been through weeks of feeling it is helping, weeks of feeling that the crying over everything has been replaced with being extremely anxious about everything, feelings of panic and a few panic attacks but for the last couple of weeks I feel like the meds are not doing anything at all......I feel like I am back to square one.......so,so low. Crying all the time again, feeling hopeless and alone. I was so convinced that the meds are not doing anything that I stopped taking them for a few days last week. I had a review appointment with my gp at the end of last week and she suggested upping the dose but I said I didn't want to and that I wanted to come off them because they weren't doing anything. GP suggested a compromise of staying on them as the same dose but I didn't tell her I hadn't been taking them for a couple of days at that point.

Over the weekend I had to chance to talk to a person who has been a good support for me a she convinced me to start taking the meds again and make another GP appointment and be more honest with the gp about how I am feeling. I have that appointment this afternoon but I am getting myself in a panic about it. I know from past visits to her she will ask me what I was hoping for when I made the appointment and to be honest I don't know, because as I told her last week, I don't really want the dose to be put up, but I do feel the need to tell her how low I am at the moment.......I feel like I am wasting her time.............I think I should just cancel the appointment and get back in to bed and hide under the duvet.......

[Sweetpea]

Please go for your appointment but try and be honest about how you have been feeling, maybe write it down beforehand and take this with you.  Do you have someone who could maybe go with you?  Try and explain you feel the medication is not working for you, ask if there are any other options/meds that you could try.  If you feel uncomfortable with this dr could you make an appointment to see another dr?

S x x x x