Andy from West Midlands

[AndyG1979]

Hello,
Im Andy from near Birmingham. Im 32 and suffered on and off with depression for nearly 12 years.

Im going through a rough time at the moment and cant see any light at the end of the tunnel.

Trying to think of positive things , Ive got my nephew and baby neice but apart from that its all
bleak

[Lol]

Hello Andy and welcome. I'm sorry to here that. If you would like to talk about the rough time you are going through at the moment please feel free and we will try to help you as much as we can.

Take Care. Lol

[Zaf]

Hi Andy, its a very supportive place with some great people so I'm sure you'll find help :)

[AndyG1979]

As i said ive got a history of depression, I dont think Ive ever been this low. The thought of going to sleep and not waking up is SOOO apealing
but ive got my nephew to think about and so I cant do anything silly. Its just so hard at the moment. Ive lost interest in everything.

[dlg78]

Hi Andy,

Hope you find some help here chap, you took a positive step today :)

Dave

[AndyG1979]

Thanks everyone. I hope so. Ive not got anyone in the real world to talk to

[Zaf]

Its horrible when you feel so low Andy, I've been there and I know it is possible to climb out of the big black hole of depression, there is light at the end of the tunnel but it can be a long journey getting there, you'll get lots of help and encouragement :)

[Ezel]

Hi Andy and welcome !"!

[Lol]

Hello Andy

Your Nephew and Neice are a good positive influence, try to spend as much time as you can around them. Having suffered from depression for 12 years have you had periods where you have got out of the black hole or has it been a struggle all that time?

[AndyG1979]

Hello Lol,
I would say ive had lots of positive periods over the last 12 years. Lately has become more of a struggle I would say as most of my friends are now
settled down with children etc and so hardly go out anymore. Yes i thinbk the best thing is to concentrate on the positive things and my neice and nephew are deffinetly top of that list.

[Holykimura]

Hi Andy, sorry your feeling down. It's very positive that you have a niece and nephew to be proud of. They are very likely to be very proud of you too. I'm sure you love them dearly and they love you too. This alone is every reason to try and be happy about. There are times where I have felt so low that I have failed to see any light also, but I've always been proven wrong. There are people here who have listened when I've found that I have had know where else to turn to. I hope you start feeling better soon.

[Lol]

Andy, we understand that despite having lovely things in your life, it is still very difficult to stay positive as you believe you should due to depression. This is the cruelest thing about the illness. Even though you know you have got some lovely things in your life it doesn't seem to be enough to pull you out of a funk when it should at times.

I hope your lows aren't too bad. It is very difficult.

[Ally]

Hey Andy.
I understand completely what you are saying, particularly the part about going to sleep and not waking up.
When I was first diagnosed, it was round about my 30th birthday (I'm 35 now) and at the time I was living on my own and feeling isolated from everyone and not having anyone to speak to.
One night when I was feeling particularly down, I wrote my dad a letter because I really didn't want to wake up. In it I told him not to blame himself as he has done everything he could and I didn't want to be a burden any more and that I had decided to just not wake up.

I really had convinced myself that if I wanted it bad enough, then it would happen.

Fortunatly, it never happened and I did wake up.
It took a while, but I eventually got to place when I was happy and not just going through the day-to-day motions of life.

I have met someone that understands and id very patient with me. The best thing to do is not to rush into anything, take your time and become comfortable with yourself. There are people out there (here) that do understand what you are going through as most of us have felt the same at one time or another.

Stay positive and keep us updated on how you are doing.
You'll always get words of support here, you might not believe them, but they are ment from the heart.

Ally.

[isserley]

Hi Andy
I'm also new here, welcome.
I also feel like there is no light at the end of the tunnel/lost interest in everything.
I also have no one I can talk to in the real world.
I'm here if you'd like to chat.
Lizzie

[Glen53]

I can certainly relate to the not waking up bit.

For me its my wife who keeps me going. Without her around I KNOW I would not be here. I know it sounds really soppy but she really is worth the pain.

It seems similar with yourself - loved ones who you cant bear to hurt being the safety net for you. I have found that joing here and reading through others feelings and struggles has spurred me on and it has helped me a little already. I really hope you are finding the same. After all, friends who can help you through a tough time are friends regardless of whether you physically see them or not - its their actions and support that count.

I really hope life has some relief in store for you soon.