First Post!

[Alstare1974]

Thanks Depina (and Zaf). I have to admit I'm really struggling. Really do wish I could just not exist.

[Zaf]

Hang in there mate, it does get better eventually

[Depina]

Hi Alstare,
Please try not to think like that, your lovely mum/family would be devastated, you have been through so much maybe you need the sleep to help you recover from all the stress.I know we are all different but if I feel like a sleep in the afternoon I do. I used to feel guilty but not now. I think it can take a long time to get on the right tablets. So hang on in there. Thinking of you. XX

[Alstare1974]

My folks are only thing that stop me doing it but I know it breaks my mums heart when she has me crying telling her I wish I was dead :-(

[Zaf]

I agree with Depina, I used to feel so guilty thst I wanted to sleep most of the time but your body must need it or you wouldnt be so tired.

Just keep believing it wii improve, it does take time and sometimes it feels you'll never be better, but eventually you will.

[Depina]

Hi Alstare
Having 2 grown up sons myself It would break my heart. I would rather have the condition myself than seeing them go through it. I could not bear it. Keep going and as Zaf says - it will get better, give your body time, try and relax, keep talking, don't bottle things up,you will enjoy life again. Thinking of you. Don't be hard on yourself, don't feel useless etc. You are a special person. Hugs XX

[Alstare1974]

Hey

So just been to the gym and had a good work out although my mood did crash afterwards for some reason. Thanks for all messages of support.

[Zaf]

Great to hear you've been out to the gym, a sudden mood crash may because you overdid it a bit but its a major achievement getting there imo :)

[Alstare1974]

Didn't get up until 1430 today though.

[Zaf]

Alstare, crushing tiredness is very usual with depression and you need to listen to your body when it tells you to sleep or even curl up under the duvet and hibernate, I know how guilty I feel when I do, despite knowing its necessary to rest to get better, the tiredness and guilty feelings are, at least for me, one of the worst aspects of this illness

[Alstare1974]

Thanks Zaf. I feel bit more reassured. I spend a lot of time hibernating in my bed. It feels safe in the day but scary at night.

[Alstare1974]

Went to MIND today, they recommended some things I am going to try. This includes going to a night class in art or something similar and reflexology.

Still feeling a bit surreal. Don't know if I ever want to go back to my job, certainly can't see me working for a good few months. :-(.

[Zaf]

That sound very positive Alstaire  :)

In the past I had to have months off sick away from my job, I had to go back when my GP told me to and I dreaded it but I couldnt afford not to work or get sick pay, but he knew when the time was right and after a few wobbly days I was OK.

Take things a bit at a time if you can, worrying too much about the future isnt the best thing to do

[Alstare1974]

I've also just got a date through for my psychiatrist appointment through for 12th September. Really hope he changes my drugs for something stronger (if there is such a thing).

[Zaf]

If you are as honest as you can be about how you feel that will help him/her adjust your meds if necessary.

I was only thinking this morning how nice it would be if there was something available that when we took it there was an instant improvement, it always seems such a long time for the ADs to start to really work.