first counselling session, what a crock!!:(

[AliMcBeer]

Hey all,

So i started counselling today, and i knew what was going to be asked really, about family etc.... well yes i lost my dad 7 years ago and i miss him every day, but im not depressed about it!! why do they always hit on ''you havent grieved properly''  i grieved for the 4 years he battled cancer knowing that wasnt going to be a good outcome. I was asked questions but nothing about how im actually feeling right now, it was all about how i felt when dad died, am i angry at my dad...its like being at a bad medium reading and they hit on one thing and dont leave it alone!! They seem to think they have the answer in one session and its dad related! im so frustrated, i went in there keeping an open mind about it and came out lower than when i went in as it was such a let down.

The counseller has said she wants to do  EMDR therapy, she tried it on me today, but i just didnt feel anything different about the emotion she was trying to relate. Im keeping positive about it as i have read some articles about EMDR and it can be good, so i will give it a go. I just dont feel that my depression is caused by past traumatic events, but hey im not the therapist.

I have another meeting at work on monday, this is when im going to find out if im another step closer to losing my job.

Ive had a few really bad days the last week or so, to the point i really thought that was it id slipped off the knife edge and completely lost it, so much so i was really scared. I feel its this sort of stuff i need to be talking to a therapist about, not my dad.

Just needed to sound off abit i think, hope your all ok:) Ali )-_

[account deleted]

Sorry to hear that, Ali.
I had to look EMDR therapy up, I'd never heard of it.

According to Wikipedia, "During this process the therapist identifies and clarifies potential targets for EMDR. Target refers to a disturbing issue, event, feeling, or memory..." do you think that is why she fixated on the Dad thing? Hopefully, she'll look for other stuff too and not just concentrate on one scenario.

To be honest, I didn't get a lot out of my counselling, until the very end - the last session of six and I think she found something I can work with, just a pity it was the last session!!! So I'm going solo now!

I remember one thing my counsellor said (in the first session), "There are 3 types of people: Good people - these people are few and far between, bad people - there are lots of bad people,  and then there are bad people who realise that by pretending to be good they can get more out of people. These are the majority!"

I thought what a load of sh*t! I refuse to believe that - otherwise I might as well check out early! Counsellors eh?! Actually, I suspect she was trying to say, don't expect too much from folk... which would have made more sense!

(Apologies to any counsellors reading this, I'm sure I just was unlucky!)

Fingers crossed for keeping your job and sorry to hear about the past few days.

Nothing wrong with sounding off. Chin up.  &^%

 

[AliMcBeer]

Thanks Guitarman, yea i find it odd some of the stuff therapists say, i sometimes think they try to blind us with their proufound knowledge, whereas its all just read from a text book! I did psychology myself for 3 years and if ''curing'' depression was that easy someone would be  a multi billionaire from it by now! lol

That stuff about 3 types of people?!?! how odd! like thats going to make you feel any better. Yea i agree with the not expecting too much of folk, makes more sense, that way you wont feel so let down in the first place.

Thing is if my depression was caused by a culmination of all the traumatic events in my life i think i would have totally lost it years ago. Physical abuse, mental abuse,bereavement,disappointment,heartache,betrayal.... isnt that just life? I think its all the traumatic events in my life that have made me the person i am today, and to be honest im greatful in a weird way, cos i actually like me as a person (when im not in a total depressive state!) and i just want to be Alison again, does that sound weird?

Anyway, guitarman, how are you doing?  hope your ok :) thx for the chin up! you too m8:)

[account deleted]

Hi Alison,

Today is pretty good thanks. I had a good night last night with some friends and today I've been for a lunch time run, so I'm feeling pretty good! Let's see how long I can keep it up though!

If you want to be Alison again, I reckon you can.

I think you're right about how our experiences shape us. That is life. And it isn't what's gone wrong that matters, it's how we deal with it. You're right to like you. You sound nice. I like me, my problem is I don't think anyone else does, even if they do!!!

But I'm dealing with it!! I just wish the troughs weren't so deep, I feel totally different today.

:)

[bel]

Hi Ali,

I just wanted to put in my tuppence worth. (I've had mixed experiences with the two therapists I've had, one was a complete waste of time and money, one was very helpful.) I think focussing on your bereavement is a bit too obvious, it sounds to me as if you have come to terms with it, but I'm not a therapist either  . Having said that, I do believe that depression can be rooted in the past and sometimes it is helpful to look at all that stuff, but only so that we can come to terms with it (if we haven't already) and move on. That's how it was for me anyway, but that doesn't mean I think that's the only "reason" for depression. As guitarman says, it's how we deal with stuff that determines what sort of person we are, depressed or not. If you feel it's something in your current situation that's causing or contributing to your depression then that's probably what you need to focus on. After all, it's going to be hard looking at your past (if you even need to) if you can't face the present. I guess that's what makes this thing such a nightmare, it's different for all of us and so there's no easy answer. As you say, therapists may have read the books, but they probably have no more idea than anyone else what will work for any individual.

As for the 3 types of people, what a horrible cynical attitude, sounds like the counsellor needs therapy!

Best wishes to both of you, bel x

[kentgirl]

Hi Ali...I'm not a professional but from what I know, PTSD can be caused by a build up of instances and triggered by just one, so maybe that's were the EMDR referral has come from.

I do think the counselling thing is hit and miss, it's like meeting anyone in life....you either take to them or you don't....hope things get sorted soon.

xXx