** hello**

[movingtables]

Hi there my name is Andy and im almost 38 years old.
 *()
I've suffered with depression and anxiety most of my adult life but have only been treated
since about 2001. ( 15mg mirtazapine daily )
 as a child i grew up suffering in silence with a condition called body dysmorphic disorder.
for those that arnt familular it's a condition where the sufferer has an issue with their appearance, in my case
i was fixated with the belief that i had lizard type skin and as you can imagine this distressed me a great deal.

i would do strange things like try and keep my face out of the sunlight as much as possible and i would take a shower
in the dark because i beleived it would wash away the ugliness. this lead me to not grow up mentaly and leads
me to where i am today.

I decided to join the forums because im (like a lot of people) at one of my lowest points in my life.
my Big problem at the moment is my work situation.

im a security guard working in a business centre at weekends.
i only work saturdays and sundays 7am to 7pm ( 12 hours shifts ).
but i spend most of the week dreading the weekend arriving.

The problem is i have to sit at a desk watching a CCTV screen where nothing happens.
being on my own for such long periods i get bored which exacerbates my depression.
we arnt allowed to take a laptop in and watch tv etc   _-+

I will make a post in the appropriate forum asking advice on leaving my job.

thanks for reading and i hope to get to know you all 

[Sweetpea]

Hello and welcome to the forum. S x x x x

[movingtables]

thanks shaz xx :)

[Ezel]

 +_+ and $£$

I used to work nights sometimes (8.45 - 7.30 am) when I was nursing which could be boring as we had to be quiet due to the patients sleeping.  Usually I would study during these hours.   

[movingtables]

hi pip.
I used to do 16hour nights     

alone doing nothing = utterly soul destroying.

currently working weekend days  saturday and sunday 7am to 7pm.
hate it lol.

[Zaf]

Hi and welcome  *()

Z xx

[movingtables]

Hi and welcome  *()

Z xx

cheers xx
 =+-

[Catbrian]

Hello.  Welcome.  +-_  Pleased you could share that.  I am aware of Body Dysmorphic Disorder.  Does it still affect you?

Reading of your extremely boring job reminds me when I worked part time nights in a very quiet pub with a handful of soul destroying old regulars.  Even though I was desperate for the money, I couldn't hack it.

Re you possibly leaving; I imagine you're worried about the money and whether you can claim dole money.  If you pack up the job, they'll suspend Jobseekers for a period.  However, if you submit a claim form and sick note from GP to the DWP, you will most probably have an entitlement to Employment Support Allowance. Of course, a lot depends on your living circumstances and whether you have a partner supporting you etc.  You state in your claim to DWP, and at future medicals, that you had to leave owing to depression.  You get the application for E.S.A at your local job centre.

If you leave, hopefully it will lighten the load with depression.  Keep us posted.

[movingtables]

Hello.  Welcome.  +-_  Pleased you could share that.  I am aware of Body Dysmorphic Disorder.  Does it still affect you?

Reading of your extremely boring job reminds me when I worked part time nights in a very quiet pub with a handful of soul destroying old regulars.  Even though I was desperate for the money, I couldn't hack it.

Re you possibly leaving; I imagine you're worried about the money and whether you can claim dole money.  If you pack up the job, they'll suspend Jobseekers for a period.  However, if you submit a claim form and sick note from GP to the DWP, you will most probably have an entitlement to Employment Support Allowance. Of course, a lot depends on your living circumstances and whether you have a partner supporting you etc.  You state in your claim to DWP, and at future medicals, that you had to leave owing to depression.  You get the application for E.S.A at your local job centre.

If you leave, hopefully it will lighten the load with depression.  Keep us posted.

Hi catb xx  _)_

The Body Dysmorphic Disorder still effects me to some degree but not as much as when i was about 14-17 years old.
the problem with the disorder is probably that it's damaged my mind over the years resulting in me being where i am today.
when i was in 6th form college i believed the skin on my face was lizard-like and i was hideously ugly.
yet i had girls comming up to me asking me out etc. they said i was a pretty boy and named me Ken, as in Barbies husband lol !!

ofcourse im now 38 with a shaved head and a few pounds heavier than i should be but im probably happier with my look now
than when i was 17.

the job situation is stupid really because i only work 2 days a week at the weekend. but it's 12 hours a shift alone and it depress's me.
I spend the whole week depressed knowing that i will be there. idealy i want a job where theres other people because despite my hang ups i can be a real peoples person and thats where i shine most.

job centre wise and leaving, now thats a tricky one. i have very few bills because im still at home (no laughing at the back) and i have some savings for the time being. its not so much the money thing but if i was denied job seekers allowance or ESA i would see that as a punishment and that doesnt sit well with me. 

anyway catb thanks for your interest it's appriciated.
maybe when you get time you could tell me a bit about yourself as i believe help works both ways.

thanks, Andy xx

PS-i love cats lol.