Deeply lost & left out

[warped]

Where would i begin? As I've read some other posts, i feel their pain as well as live it.
 Like one said,i don't know what good it will do to post..
 Meds been changed over the years, councillors try, friends distanced themselves from me.
 Life seems now living me and I'm very lonely. Yet so down I'm in fear that even the thought of meeting someone to be a potential friend, they and the public see my sadness=negativity, who wants to be around that? I don't blame anyone for avoiding it.
 Then, back to square one.
 So taxing for me as i am very caring for others. I'm a rescuer. Co dependent person. Love my security job,if i could just love myself.
 FRIENDS NEEDED!!

[Ezel]

 .>, this is a good place to make friends.

[Buttercup]

 .>, agree with Pip, this is a great place

[ifeelcursed]

Hey Warped, Welcome

I have not posted much on here but people have been welcoming and have read what i have posted and that has made me feel a little bit more able to cope.

This illness we all seem to have is still quite individualistic in how we respond, react and cope with it. All I can say to you is that I can't imagine what you are going through but I do think I have a little idea of the pain and the frustration.

So don't think you are alone in this because we all go through it aswell in our own way every day. For now typing posts and talking to people I don't know at least once a day but who are aware of how delibatating (sp?) Depression and Anxiety can be - helps, even if its just a little it's more than we feel we sometimes get or deserve.

Friends are important for people like us but the problem is our illness makes us feel we do not deserve them and therefore we act accordingly by severing ties and pushing people away, avoiding opportunites to let people get close to us.

I kind of know how you are thinking because I think the same sometimes and that is why would people want to be involved with a person who thinks like that?

Thing is you don't know what people think, you are not psychic, so although it feels alien to you try to at least accept people wanting to engage with you and that they dont know you  so they dont know the nagtive feelings you have.

Don't judge them based on how you feel about yourself, let them work it out for themselves, they will and you will most likely be pleasantly surprised.

I am rubbish at taking my own advice so I hope other people will not be so rubbish about taking it, its got to benefit someone, maybe it will benefit me one day but until then i hope it helps you.

[Sweetpea]

Hello and welcome to the forum, we are a friendly bunch and will help and advise you where we can

Take care

S x

[KateG]

Welcome to the forum, it is a friendly place

[Zaf]

Hi and welcome :)

[warped]

I thank all of you!!

[warped]

 I sure relate with the child situation. Met my ex wife in 1991, married in 1994, our precious girl born in 95, she filed divorce from me in 98 & i stalled it till went forth in 2000. A few days prior to the hearing, she slipped off with my baby 2 counties away and soon remarried a heavier wallet.
 My girl, now 16, still lives with her mom.
 That is a whole other prob.
 Anyways, it's paid off many folds, never missed but maybe 9 nights that i wasn't able to tell her good night & i love u, along with getting her every other weekend. That said, we are very close.
 Regrets? A few. More guilt with me. Ie beating myself up.
 She's all family i have now. Mom passed in 06, father? He fled from my life in 08.
 Forgive my topic bouncing. Much more painful details left out.
 Children are certainly angels!
 I will finally see my girl tomorrow. 2 months too long. I didn't even have gas $ to get her. ( guilt)