Why

[hayes]

Hi new to all of this..

I'm 18, work full time in a good job have no real major problems (e.g. family passing, money troubles etc.) so my life's not really that bad.
However for the past 12/18 months every single day has been hell, I think about killing myself every single day it's ridiculous I am always feeling depressed even when something good happens the high quickly fades, if it was not for my mum I'm almost certain I would have gone through with it (It would destroy her If I did.)

I thought I'd get by with it as I don't really like asking for the help and don't want people to find out, but the past month has gotten significantly worse for no reason and it has really started to affect my life, I've gotten in trouble with work for being late as I just don't want to get out of bed, don't want to socialize with people and would prefer to be on my own.

I've seen my G.P and he's not prescribing me any more anti-depressants and instead referred me to psychosocial therapy, which I'm not to keen on especially as where I work many of my clients also go to this place..

It's horrible I just want it stop and get on with my life, compared to other people's mines pretty good, so why am I like this grrr.



 

[craig84]

Hi Hayes Welcome to the forums!

I remember when I was first diagnosed with depression I didn't have much knowledge of what it even was but took a suicide attempt for me to realise I needed help... going through therapy I used to always talk about the same things at first and it wasn't until a few months after that I found myself realising what I first thought was wrong was completely different to the combination of experiences that have affected me. I guess im getting at that even though may not know why at first it could take some time in understanding yourself before you can figure out the why's?!?

I wouldn't say no to any treatment until you know it isn't helping you as it a can prove quite difficult to get the treatment you need even if you know it will help!

[Becky123]

Hey, welcome to the forum, I agree with Craig sometimes it takes talking it through in theray or with friends or family to understand why you feel like you do. But sometimes depression has no cause so don't feel bad for that.

I have a lot of panic attacks aand most of the time I have no idea why I'm worrying, if this is the case I stop and tell myself I've got nothing to worry about and very slightly it helps the worry to go, I do this at work I'm always worrying at work.

And I also struggle to get out of bed in the mornings. What works for me is planning to do something you enjoy first thing in the morning (even if you can only fit in 10 minutes) so that way you're getting up to do the thing you enjoy not for work

Hopes this helps 

[Pip]

 :welcome: hayes,

When I saw a doctor specifically for depression I was resistant to taking anti depressants and was quite comfortable to have counselling.  I decided to go on the anti depressants for a short time but told him I didn't want to be on them long term.  As it turned out it was a long wait for counselling so the antidepressant helped me through.  By the time counselling came through about 8 months later we had moved so had to let them know.  The downside was as we had moved out of the area I knew I would have to be referred again.  The doctor I had was very unhelpful, didn't believe in anti depressants and told me to go to Relate.  I already knew Relate wouldn't be able to help due to why I was severely depressed as the counselling I needed is more specialised.  Fortunately I had a good support network to help me.  However it is worth getting whatever help you are offered,

[stewart]

hi hayes, welcone to the forums.
sounds like your doc is not the best, have you thought of seeing a new doc, ?