Worried Newbie

[BeccaLD]

Hi There,

I was diagnosed with major depression in November 2012, though I am not sure for how long I'd coped with it before that. I have been on fluoxetine, citalopram and am now on sertraline. I recently tried to kill myself by overdosing on my sertraline, which left me feeling worse for wear, but not dead. I quickly returned to work after just four days off and now, a week later, I am feeling worse. I am now taking some time off work. I am going to the gym every day and trying to stay positive, but I really feel like I have no hope left. I am probably one of the happiest depressed people you could meet, but recently I'm just giving up. 

[Pip]

Welcome Becca, it's awful feeling like that.  Have you tried MIND?

They can offer different types of help.

[BeccaLD]

Hi Pip, I've had a look on their website, though most of the advice on there seems to be just the generic stuff that is on the NHS choices pages for depression. :/

[SteveW]

I am sorry that you are having difficulties. My real thought is about the drugs you have been taking. The 3 of them are all from the same group, the SSRI's. That is slightly unusual GP practice. After two failures most of them would be thinking about trying something from a different chemical group. It might be worth discussing with your GP.

I'm glad you survived your Sertaline overdose, though thankfully it's next to impossible to kill yourself with it. You might as well start hitting yourself over the head with the packet. But if you were that down I should say you meet the criteria for moderate or severe depression. The advice to doctors is very clear. In those circumstances use drugs and a psychological intervention. You don't mention that you are receiving that. All it takes is a GP referral.

I hope someone is following up your suicide attempt. Where I live you would have been referred to the Crisis Resolution Team, all suicide attempts are. You are highly likely to have something similar where you live. That sort of support is well worth thinking about.

[Michael Frankum]

Hello and welcome to the forums. I'm sure that you will get some useful support and feedback from people on this site. I'm afraid that my mind isn't up to anything constructive or helpful at the moment.  But you have my very best wishes. Michael. 

[stewart]

Hi Becca, the MIND website is not the best, can you find a phone number for them? i will pm you their number here in newport if you like and they will give you a local contact.

[BeccaLD]

Hi All, I really appreciate that you've replied to my post, it's so rare for me to be able to speak to anyone these days. I can't talk to my mum about the depression, I've had her having a go at me all day. As if she thinks it'll make me better.

She said she's sick of everything being a negative with me, how all I ever do is moan and how I've lost my motivation (because I'm doing as I'm told by the doctor and having a week off work). She thinks there is no reason for me to be depressed, she doesn't understand that there is no reason to be depressed, you just are. She screams in my face that I'm bringing it all on myself, that I just don't want to be happy and that I am stupid because I haven't left my room for three days (not true, I go and tidy the house when she is out, I go to the gym, I just hide in my room when she is home).

I'm on the waiting list for counselling and they are due to call me on 15th July to see if I need to be moved up on the waiting list. So there isn't much I can do on that front.

I've done a bit of research and there are no MIND services within 30 miles of me :/

[Pip]

It's tough when other people including parents don't understand depression.  It's very easy for them to have a go but depression isn't something you can get over immediately.  Some people live with it all of their lives.

[stewart]

Hi Becca, it is a shame your mum is so negative towards you, family should be the one place you can get support from

[craig84]

 :acid: well... all sounds so close to home...  talking to likeminded people does make a big difference for me. mainly because of the whole, "you don't understand" syndrome some of us get when we get judged by people without or who misunderstand depression. I was diagnosed with it in 2007 after a suicide attempt but I was suffering for years before that I realised.

I resented and neglected taking medication because I didn't see how taking a pill woul make me happier, and after a few years of being on and off these drugs and going round in circles with life im seeing the need for them now. I never wanted to admit that my depression was as bad or as serious as what it is but I feel im in the same boat as you.

my old man thinks I can snap my fingers and be ok. other family members know im depressed but none really know how to act around me. just tell me the generic "youll be ok in time" theres not much support from them which Is why im trying for counselling at the moment....  it wont be the cure to my depression but it will help as I just don't have a support network at all...

im an open book I don't mind speaking of my experiences because the way I see it if there are people who judge me for things ive been through or for being depressed then they are people I do not want around me... unfortunately there are more judgmental people out there than not...

wow ... this is the first post on any site about this and I feel im rambling...  altho I love a ramble I just really wanted to say welcome, and thanks for being open.

hats off to you for maintaining working for so long im struggling to do even that at the moment as ive been working for agencies and they are few and far between with work at the moment.

[Pip]

  Craig, I remember when I told my parents I suffer with depression and my mum said she hoped I would feel better soon.  I may as well have told her I had a cold 

[craig84]

yeah we get that a lot, I have to admit even I took for granted how much this affected me.
and admittedly i remember having the opinion yrs ago that i would never understand why someone would want to try suicide or that depression was just a state of mind. how wrong i was. . . .

thanks for your reply :)

[pierre0000]

Hi there i am new here i have just signed up please could you pm with some info on citalopram like how did they work etc did they make you worse and things as i have been prescribed by my doctor but am too anxious to start taking them maybe you could tell me what they are like for you even though every1 is different i just want to know if you suffered any bad side effects etc
thanks
from Pierre

[SteveW]

I can tell you a little about Citalopram. Currently I think it is the most popular anti-depressant in terms of number of prescriptions. How it works requires a little biology. The neurons which form a large proportion of the total brain cells aren't physically connected. Communication between them is handled by a type of chemical referred to as a neurotransmitter. A neuron releases a neurotransmitter which drifts across the gap and then binds to the next neuron and sets off a train of events.

In the case of Citalopram the neurotransmitter is Serotonin. Not all the Serotonin gets used and there is a mechanism which transports it back across the cell wall so it can be used again. Citalopram interferes with this process and results in there being more free Serotonin. Quite how this results in an anti-depressant effect is still a matter of some dispute.

When it comes to side effects Citalopram is as low as any of the anti-depressants. The most common is nausea, which can vary from the trivial to something more unpleasant, but its incidence isn't that great. It is also capable of generating a degree of sleepiness. There are more serious side effects such a tendency to cause and exacerbate bleeding disorders. It can also have some effect on sexual performance. But these are rare.

Hope this is of some use to you.