Hey so wanted to introduce myself...
erm...
I've suffered depression pretty much my whole life, am now in my mid 20s and am taking 150mg Venlafaxine which does seem to balance me out, my moods aren't as up and down as they used to be...
My life so far has been spent being rejected and taunted by my parents. I've had quite a few partners in my life and I get terrified of being left.
A couple of years ago I met a guy who showed me how to believe in myself and my life improved amazingly. We were living together as a couple and he became my best friend, we shared everything. Unfortunately things between us started to crumble at the end of last year and I moved out and into a place on my own in December, in January he realised that he just didn't love me anymore and we broke up.
I'm a stronger woman now than I was before I met him, but my reaction to our breakup has been quite erratic. I didn't cry about it for 3 weeks, and even then I was mostly crying because i was drunk and alone and feeling ashamed of myself. At first I thought he might change his mind but as time went on his words showed me that he supported his decision.
And so I started to go out drinking almost every night and sleeping with a numerous amount of people.
My behavior is stupid at the moment but I'm actually enjoying it!
But then there come evenings like this where I stay sober and alone and I feel lonely and pathetic.
I feel incredibly lonely but when i'm feeling this way I cant bear to around people! So stupid.
Well...
Thats me at the moment...
lonely and pathetic.
So hey!
