hi im new here

[staffslass]

hi im new here
not really sure  what to say
myself and my partener have been together for 21 years and and everything was as it should be
5 years ago he lost his dad to cancer and personally he has never really got over it as they were very close
ever since then he has gone steadly down hill
he gone from being very quiet to not speaking to me
to blowing me out to taking it out on the kids and the dogs
he walked out of his job just after christmas 09 as he couldnt cope with being there
he dosent leave to house answere the phone or the door and hates people being in our house even if he has known them for years
he gets himself worked up over the sillest of things
and the smallest of thing set him off
he dosent eat unless i cook for him
he s up all night and sleeps all day
and our sex life is well very hit and miss

there were times in the last 5 years a would have cheerfully walked out or made him leave how bad dose that sound
but its since ive been reading a lot on depression that i am starting to understand it
then last week he finally opened up to me and told me everything and now we are working at getting appointments for docs and councilers


but there are days when were are ment to be going out and he lets me down at the last min thats when he winds me up and i have to remind myself its not my partener its the depression i have to go somewhere quiet and have a little cry then im fine

people dont understand depresion people think those who suffer with it put it on me included yes i hold my hands up to it
but untill you live with someone who suffers with it or  you have it yourself  you have no idea what goes on
and im trying to understand it by reading everything i can about it to help me and my partener
but i love him and you dont throw away 21 like that wel i dont

well ive waffelled enough

[lightenup]

 ^&*  Hi Staffslass, I can completly understand what your husbands going through only because I'm on the same side of the coin.  Lost my sister to cancer last year (eldest), was more like a mother as Iam the baby of the family.  Next I lost my job.  My husband tries to keep my spirits up but sometimes you take everything out on your closet.  Feeling ashamed and telling anyone is also very hard.  Most days yoy just want to curl up and die.  My families faces stay implanted in my brain to keep ok.  The non sleeping thing is such a vicious cycle too.  You are a great support to him even at the times he is probably driving you mad, I try to make my husband understand.  Hope this helps