Hiya, im new here as you can probably tell :)

[Jess]

Hiya, my names Jess and im 14 years old. I know that just by my age you'll think that its just a teenage phase of mixed emotions and general depression but i asure you its not. Ive been depressed since i was about 6 years old, due to health conditions and side-effects of medications i have been severly bullied, at a young age i never really had any friends people liked me but i always felt like they were playing a joke on me. At my age now, i have many friends but none of them know the true extent of my misery. I have had thoughts of suicide, but im intelligent enough to know that killing myself won't help, infact it would do more harm. I take everyday as they come, some i spend crying and some i relativley ok. I joined this forum in hope of communicating with other people who know how i feel. Well there you go, thats basically it, thanks for listening xx

[Cazkitten]

I just wanted to say hey so you know someone read your post.
I know things feel awful now but you will feel better. I know this isn't just a teenage phase, but if it's any help, being a teenager sucks for everyone. Additionally if you are depressed. But you recognise that, which is a good sign - I think a lot of people are depressed from childhood but just don't realise it.
I do know what you mean about putting a brave face on things with your friends.

Have you spoken to a health professional? Even it's a side effect of medication, there are various treatments that can help.

[Ezel]

Hi Jess, I do believe you that it's not a phrase you're going through or that it's because you're a teenager.  I started suffering with depression when I was 12/13 years old which included feeling suicidal but my parents put my mood down to being a moody teenager and seeking attention.  I know what started it - my sister was pregnant at 15 and my parents forced her to have an abortion even though her boyfriend wanted to support her and the baby (he was working).  We were expected never to talk about it and my sister became really rebellious with me stuck in the middle.  My depression was aggravated when I was 19 as I had a baby - had split from long term boyfriend -  and was coerced into surrendering as my parents didn't want the shame of of a daughter who was a single mother.  It didn't matter that I was working so able to support him.  I went through many years of the cycle of being depressed, suicidal and self harming at certain times of the year until 2005.  This was a year into reunion and I hit rock bottom and was finally diagnosed with depression.

[Jess]

Thank you for listening to me, i pray that one day i wake up and realise that everythings going to be fine, but chances are thats not going to happen. My health conditions are not what some people may call severe (I have diabeties and a kidney disease along with many complications), but at my age its very difficult to see a point in anything.I don't look impaired or ill, considering that i've missed a lot of education im rather smart, but it hurts to know what i could've been without my health problems. I know that most people on this forum are worse of then me, but thank you for reading and understanding why i've joined this forum, it means alot to me. xx