Just introducing myself

[bailey2905]

Hello everyone,just wanted to say hi and maybe get some input from other board users.

To be honest when I read some of the terrible experiences that some people on here have had ,I feel like a bit of a fake!
It's just that recently I'm not feeling myself.I'm not at a point where I'm going to do something scary but the thought of walking out the door and running away certainly does appeal to me at the moment.

I guess that if I look back then my mood started to darken about 18 months ago.Up untill that point I had always been upbeat and full of energy-"the life and soul of the party "people would tell me.I can't really put a finger on a place in time or a specific reason for the way I feel.All I know is that I get theses periods of really not caring about anything what so ever in my life and as I say-running away from it all seems like a good idea!

I should be on top of the world.I have a nice home,a great wife and a beautiful 3 year old daughter.I have tried to broach the subject with my wife but she tells me I'm being silly.I took an online test recently and the results suggest I have clinical depression.Do I go see the Doc or ignore and kid myself that it's just a phase?

My worry is that the longer I leave these feelings ,the worse that I will become.I really can't face the day sometimes.I used to have such pride in my work and myself but lately I really don't care what people think or what I look like.Anyone got any ideas for me???

[Ezel]

 ^&*

You're not a fake and you do deserve support as much as everybody else here %^& .  Try to be patient with you wife, been there, done that with hubby who also suffers with depression so it was a shock to him to accept that I also suffer with depression.  At the time I felt like bopping him on the nose but I had a good GP who was firm with him  *()   

[bailey2905]

Thanks Ezel x

[Sandra]

Hello everyone

I am new here - I am not sure if I am suffering from depression but I seem to be having trouble getting through the day - or should I say the night. The last 12 months have been awful - I lost my job in November 2008 - not a redundancy as such - more that my face did not fit. It was a good job that I loved but it was taken away from me. I then has s short relationship with someone which failed (although we are now the best of friends - bizaar how things turn out!). I then had severe sciatica for about 3 months due to 2 prolapsed discs in my back diagnosed 3 years ago. I have been looking for a job since then but no joy so far. The to top it all off - my mum died on the 30th Dec 2009 - she had been ill but we never thought that her life would end - she was only 76.

So all in all a bad year - I am sure it has not been as bad as some people have experienced but I am finding it hard to cope. When I was working, I never had any money worries - it was a good job that paid well. I live alone so make my own way in life financially.

So in a nutshell that is what I have faced the past year - now I find I am increasing thinking about ending it all - I have nothing left. I cry at the strangest of times - even before my mum died. I find it difficult to motivate myself to do anything - a trip to Tesco's wears me out and although I have friends in the village where I live and they have been great, I haven't been out for a while as quite frankly I can't be bothered. I am drinking too much I know and trying to cut that down but it does help me sleep. I haven't beed to the doctors as I always felt that depression only affected 'weak' people. ( I apologise).

I am not sure what else to say - but it does help to write this down - I will get through this I know - I have no choice but why is it so hard?

Many thanks for reading

Sandra

[bailey2905]

Hi Sandra,sorry to hear about your Mum.

One thing that I have learnt since posting on here is that I realise there are dozens of people feeling exactly the same way as me.Getting it all down in black and white has helped me to put things in to perspective and to plan how I'm going to tackle this problem.

So you are not alone-I know exactly how you feel.Making contact on this board is definately a step in the right direction...for both of us!!!

Take care,

Bailey x